


DayDreams

by WordSPark37



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 45,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordSPark37/pseuds/WordSPark37
Summary: Of all the dreams she could have had, this one was the worst... in the best way possible... she just didn't expect him to play such a big role in it. Now she's facing an internal turmoil the likes of which she's never felt before. Rated M for sexual content and some adult language.





	1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER I**

 

 

 

She relished the thrill, the rush of adrenaline and the absolute pleasure it caused in her. Burning from within her, surging from the pit of her stomach, and perhaps a bit lower too; she let it overpower her. She let it wash over her, cover her, corrupt her. She let herself go, throwing away any and all rational thoughts, and she just let him kiss her.

She had to think hard in order to remember how it had started. It was all a blur, and his warm hands exploring every inch of her exposed body weren't helping her concentration. All she could remember was a soft, tantalizing, almost shy kiss, and soon it had developed into a desperate, desire-fueled, all-out, tongue wrestling match.

And now, his tongue was working its way in circles down her neck, his hands drawing the contour of her sides as he slowly but steadily made his way downwards. She arched her back, giving him more to work with as he reached her chest, and she let out a passionate moan as he took full advantage of her offering. Her head snapped back, exposing her bare neck as a shiver made its way up her spine. She was on cloud nine, and the way things were going, she was about to go a couple of clouds higher.

It was overpowering. The warm, tingling feel of his skin against hers. The sight of his naked body hovering above her, skin beaded with sweat, highlighting his lean, muscular physique. The musky scent of their mingled sweat and other assorted fluids made her head spin. In a rather good way. It fed something primal within her, something that longed to taste more than just his lips, and that was impatiently waiting for her turn to taste his body.

His breath tickled her naked belly as he pulled away, and she writhed in agony at the lack of touch. She looked down, her chest heaving with gasping breaths, and saw him looking up at her with mischievous eyes. She frowned at him, hating what he was doing. She knew that he'd done it on purpose. She knew what he was waiting for. And he knew that she knew.

She hated him.

It was too much for her. She was so close, and yet so far away. If he stopped now, she thought it might kill her. She bit her lip, and looked down at him with the most pitiful face she could muster. A disgusting smirk played on his lips, and he ran a teasing finger down her belly, snaking all the way down to her leg, where it played around innocently, never coming close to the place where she really wanted it to go.

"Stop it!"

His eyebrows lifted in an expression of mock surprise, his lips, his delicious, tantalizing lips, taunting her in the form of a curious oh. He shrugged his shoulders, and with a look of absolute nonchalance, he started to press his hands down on the mattress on either side of her, lifting his body away from her still-shivering form. Her heart beat against her ribs, as if punishing itself. Warning her not to let him go.

"Wait! Please…?"

He smiled again, playfully, seductively, agonizingly destructive. But he remained frozen. No single point of contact existed between their bodies, yet she could feel the warmth that radiated from him. The lust and passion that seemed to seep from his every pore was overwhelming. He was playing with her, and she couldn't fight him anymore. It was torturing her, and in this game, he was clearly the better player.

With a defeated sigh, she closed her eyes for a second and softly bit at the inside of her lower lip.

"Fine…"

He looked at her expectantly, a spark of wanting twinkling dangerously in his eyes.

"Please Garfield...?" she said, her monotonous voice crackling under the stress of the situation. Her mind told her not to beg, but her body was yelling at her to do it, and fast.

"Pleeeaase!" She tried to yell at him, but it came out in the form of a desperate, deprived moan. He seemed to prefer it, and showed his sparkling teeth in a very satisfied smile. His tongue danced between his parted lips, and she felt her breath hitch in anticipation.

His eyes flickered again, and slowly, his face inched closer to her belly, where he lay a gentle, puckering kiss. His lips barely brushed her skin, but it sent another shock wave of pleasure through her body. The action in itself wasn't so pleasurable, although she wasn't complaining. It was what it was all leading up to that really rocked her to the core, and made every second that much more excruciating.

He began to stroke her body once again, his hands creating sensual paths down her legs, and back up, slowly reaching towards her inner thighs, and spreading them ever so slowly. It was torturous in its simplicity.

Suddenly, his face was lower that it had ever been, and she lost track of his eyes as they wandered over the most intimate parts of her body. Blood pumped furiously through her veins, and her face tingled as a warm blush spread through most of her upper body, as well as some other areas. She'd never gone so far with anyone else. Hell, she'd never really gotten anywhere with anyone else. It was exciting her on so many levels, and her head was simply floating around, barely conscious enough to get as much pleasure in as she could.

His tongue flickered around, as if searching for a sweet spot, his warm panting breaths playing merry hell against her sensitive skin. He was so close, and yet he was holding back. She wanted to reach down and pull him closer; she wanted to feel him completely. Her hips bucked forward involuntarily, and her wish was partially granted, as his mouth met her body sooner than he had anticipated. In a split second, her world turned upside down, inside out, and absolutely incredible. Everything she had been waiting for, suffering for, begging for, was now coming to life in a wonderful fantasy.

As his mouth began to respond to the sudden contact, she shuddered at the touch, and began to feel herself fill up with pleasure. It was amazing, totally and utterly intense, overpowering her on a physical and emotional level. She was reveling in a pleasure that she had never before experienced, when suddenly, surprisingly, she heard his voice.

"…Waffles?"

She froze. Everything froze. The pleasure, the panting, the feeling, everything. It all just stopped. She looked down, past her glistening, nude body, down towards his face, looking up at her from in between her thighs, on his face an incredibly innocent, questioning look.

"Huh?"

"…Raven…Waffles…?" He spoke again.

She tilted her head, not understanding, and just as quickly as she did, she felt herself falling. It was short, abrupt, and when she realized it, she tried to catch herself before she fell all the way…

Only to wake up as her head slipped from her hand, and almost faceplanted into the kitchen table. She composed herself quickly, and looked around, taking in her surroundings as fast as she could, and trying to make sense of it all.

She was in the Titan's kitchen, and by the looks of things, in the middle of breakfast. She didn't remember falling asleep, but it must have been only a short while ago. A small trail of vapor snaked its way up from her teacup, which could only mean that the water had boiled no more than ten, fifteen minutes ago at most. She took in her friends' expressions, each of them staring at her with something between concern and humor on their faces.

"Hey, are you gonna want waffles, or not? Raven?" Beast Boy's voice finished bringing her back into the present, and she turned towards him, startled. He only offered a smile and a plate stacked dangerously high with freshly made waffles. She didn't answer. She was simply staring at him in what appeared to be horror. She quickly shifted her gaze to the other Titans as Beast Boy's ears drooped, and he set the plate of waffles down in front of him in defeat.

"Well, look who decided to join the realm of the living!" Cyborg's booming voice startled her more than she cared to admit. She was still recoiling from her unexpected vertigo, and her dream was slowly slipping away into her subconscious. She ignored Cyborg's taunt, trying to focus on remembering what she'd been dreaming about. Whatever it was, she knew it was one of the few dreams in her lifetime that she'd actually enjoyed, and she wasn't too keen on forgetting it.

"Raven? Are you alright?" Robin spoke up, looking up at her from the newspaper held tight in his gloved hands. She recognized the undertone of concern in his question, and relaxed a little. She was probably scaring everyone with her behavior. She shifted in her seat and cleared her throat before answering.

"I'm fine. I guess I dozed off for a bit. I didn't sleep well last night."

"Well, you didn't seem to have any trouble sleeping a few minutes ago!" Cyborg chuckled before turning his attention back to the sizzling meats cooking on the burner. "Never thought I'd see you of all people with such a dopey grin!"

The other Titans joined Cyborg in his light chuckling, but Raven didn't feel as joyful. She hated being put under the spotlight, but more than that, Cyborg's comment had been, unsettling. She had been, smiling? She probably would have been less surprised to know that she'd blown up half the tower in her sleep. But, smiling? Whatever the dream had been, it must have been a hell of an experience.

"Oh yes, friend, you looked very pleased in your sleep!" Starfire giggled. It just brought another bout of laughter from the boys. Starfire, unaware of the double connotation, laughed along, albeit not as heartily as the others.

She was glad her hood was up, and she relished the way the shadows cast on her face managed to hide the creeping blush she felt.

"Whatever." She offered, trying to put an end to the conversation. For the most part, it seemed to work.

The laughter died down quickly, and everyone returned to their own business. Robin hid his face behind his newspaper, Star returned to playing with her fork, and every so often, asked Robin if there was anything interesting. It was sweet really. They'd been trying to keep their relationship a secret, but it had become anything but. Still, Raven at least was glad that they'd decided to avoid almost all public displays of affection.

Cyborg returned to confecting his breakfast, and had engaged Beast Boy in a lighthearted conversation regarding some new videogame he'd seen for sale the other day. Beast Boy eagerly chattered away, digging heartily into his waffles and waving his hands around when he felt he needed to illustrate some important aspect of whatever they were talking about.

Raven allowed herself a tiny smile. They were her friends. They were her family. And just like every other time they were together like this, in peace, she felt warm inside. She took a sip of her tea, and closed her eyes, savoring the delicious bitter drink. It soothed her, and allowed her chaotic mindscape to settle down, at least a bit. Her dream was all but forgotten, and she wrapped her cloak around herself, settling into her chair.

But something was missing. She cracked one eye open, and looked around on the table, searching for the missing piece to her morning puzzle. She found the book scattered off to her side, and she realized she must have been reading it when she nodded off, as it had been left open, spine up, marking the page where she'd left off with an ugly crease down the middle. She frowned.

She used her powers to carry it back into her hands, going unnoticed by the others. Her hands emerged from within her blue shell, and she grasped at its cover hungrily, the need to carry on the story once again clawing at her insides. She'd loved the book from the moment she'd started reading it, and she remembered she'd been in a particularly interesting part of the story last time she'd read it. Still, she couldn't remember what part she'd read that morning.

She flipped back a few pages to the beginning of the chapter, until she recognized the plot, and began to read once more, eyes devouring every word printed on the pages.

And as she read, coming closer and closer to the page where it had been left open, her eyes widened, her heart racing, and she struggled to hold her grip on the book with trembling hands. Word for word, she took it in, and piece by piece, everything started to make sense.

The scene where she'd nodded off, was indeed a particularly interesting part of the story. The heroine had been approached by one of the minor characters, some childhood friend, who had confessed his undying love to her. And though at first protested, the scene quickly unraveled into a very intimate, very graphic, and very detailed description of their, ahem, amorous interactions.

She felt her blush return, but this time, ten times worse. Her heart was beating dangerously fast within her chest, and her breathing became more tense. Not because of the risqué love scene in her book. But because it seemed perilously familiar. And she was starting to realize why.

Her dream entered her mind, as if it had been held back against its will. It crashed forth from her subconscious, and every detail of it was thrust into her mind's eye. She remembered feeling everything her dream-self had felt. The feeling of his skin against hers. The musky scents, the tangy taste of sweat, his hands reaching down, and his mouth…

A sharp cracking noise brought her back to reality, and she glanced down just in time to see her mug shatter to pieces, lukewarm tea spilling across the table, and dripping towards the floor. She snapped the book closed and hugged it tight against her chest, staring in horror at the scene before her, as her friends around her let out yelps of surprise.

"Whoa, Rae, you okay?" Cyborg asked. She ignored his voice. Robin was staring at her with a mix between suspicion and concern etched behind his mask, while Starfire mirrored her own actions, hugging Silky close to her as she watched her with friendly concern.

"Raven?"

His voice commanded her attention. She looked sharply to her right, and saw him jump slightly at her brisk movement. He donned a sad look of concern and sympathy, his fang poking out from his pouting lip. His hands on the edge of his seat, ready to spring to action if need be. His eyes, emerald-green and looking at her, staring at her, reading her like some undecipherable book.

It was him. She knew it. She knew it when she saw his lips. When she looked at his hands, clenching to his seat. At his eyes, sparkling, this time out of sincere concern. But she knew. In her dreams. It had been him.

Her heart plummeted.

She closed her eyes and stood from the table, still keeping a tight hold on her book, as if it were some sort of lifeline. Pulling her chair aside, she took a few steps back and used her power to lift the shards of ceramic silently towards the garbage bin. She watched as Cyborg stepped on the pedal to open the lid, his eyes never leaving her, mouth slightly ajar in surprise. But she didn't acknowledge him. She didn't acknowledge any of them. She was afraid to.

They all watched in silence as she lifted a rag with her powers, and soaked up the tea spread across the table. She tossed it into the sink, and exhaled, releasing a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding in.

Suddenly, a hand made contact with her shoulder, and she turned to see its owner. Her mind went blank when she saw the familiar green hand. Hands she'd dreamt about, hands that had become familiar in all too many ways.

"Rae, what's wrong?"

If she hadn't been focusing on his hands, the entire tower probably would have sunk into the bay. She shrugged him off quickly, mentally scolding herself for her behavior, and mumbled something about having to meditate.

She left them all staring at the doorway though which she disappeared, and made her way through the hall, and into her room. Once inside the inky darkness of her refuge, she slammed the door shut, and leaned against its cold, steel surface. She sank down, sliding against her door, shuddering all the way. She didn't understand. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of it was. She dropped the book on the floor in front of her, and sank her head into her hands.

She'd had a dream. That was normal. The fact that it wasn't a nightmare wasn't completely normal, but she'd had decent dreams before. This dream, however, had been erotic. She'd be lying if she said she'd never dreamed about lewd scenarios, but most of that occurred in her nightmares, preying on her fear of intimacy and her own body. This was the first time she'd ever dreamt such a scene in such a heavenly context.

And she had enjoyed it. The feel of it, even though it was practically ethereal, and only existed in a subconscious plane. She could remember the way she'd felt, everything she'd seen, they paths his hands had taken across her skin, all as if it had happened just a few minutes back.

But the worst part of it was the simply, undeniable fact, that the person who'd provoked those feelings, the one who in her dream had made her gasp, and moan, and practically scream, the one who'd caused her body to act of its own accord, was no one less than quite possibly the most annoying, immature, carefree person she knew. And coincidentally, her best friend.

She lifted her head, and bumped it gently against the steel door, clenching her teeth. She was on the verge of tears. It was too complicated, and she hated it when things got too complicated. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to feel that way. Not about anyone, least of all him!

Rampaging monsters, every-day criminals, hell, even quantum mechanics, she could deal with. Arcane spells and demonic rituals, if she set her mind to it, were as simple as 6th grade algebra. But these… feelings, these brand new emotions, they were dangerous, and they were complicated, and they were running rampant in her mind. And she had no idea what to do about it.

Using all of her strength, she stood up, shaking feebly as she made her way towards he dresser. There, she saw the familiar ornate handle of what was undoubtedly one of her most prized possessions. Her dark hand mirror, her own personal portal into her mind, and home to the only people who could rival Beast Boy with their impertinence.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she closed her eyes, and focused, welcoming the abrupt pulling from the depths of her own mindscape. And as she entered the familiar landscape of Nevermore, her mind so caught up in the process of entering, well, itself, she failed to notice the soft tapping sound of someone knocking at her door, and a soft, familiar voice that called out to her,

"Raven…?"


	2. Chapter 2

 

**CHAPTER II**

 

* * *

 

She landed gracefully on her feet, floating down towards the rocky islands that made up her mindscape. Nevermore. She'd always thought it was a pretty appropriate name. Its namesake was one of her favorite poems, and at the same time, her most feared. Poe's use of the raven as an evil omen, a messenger of doom, suited her to a T. Of course, after the prophecy was broken, she no longer felt she threatened the mortal universe as an interdimensional portal designed to bring about the wrath of Trigon the Ravager, Skaath, Ddrez, or as she knew him, father dearest.

Still, she had grown fond of the name, and it had stuck. Just like its appearance had stuck. A long, barren path of islands, each with their own distinctive gate, led all the way to her Forbidden Door, the only way out of her mind.

"Here goes nothing," She said softly. She couldn't even convince herself.

She wrapped her cloak tightly around her shivering body, and began to venture forward. She glanced around her, and noticed the sky. She smiled. It was a small comfort that she took, admiring the sparkling stars surrounding her, glowing white instead of their original red. After the defeat of Trigon, he'd lost any influence he may have had in her subconscious. Her powers were still bound to her emotions, but she no longer feared losing control of herself and accidentally bringing forth the apocalypse.

Her comfort quickly faded as she stepped towards the first arch. She knew who's domain it was. She just didn't really care much for her. She was part of herself, sure, but one of the more annoying parts that she tended not to listen too. Whenever she surfaced on the conscious plane, it always got her into trouble. They had a sort of love/hate relationship. On top of everything else, she reminded her of Beast Boy. And Starfire. Combined. Guaranteed headache.

As soon as she'd stepped into the bright, merry, and sickeningly cute realm, she was tackled in an oxygen-depraving bear hug. Yep, her resemblance to Star was only helped by her love of suffocating hugs. At least she smelled like fabric softener and daisies, and not zorkaberries.

"Rae-Rae! Oh, it's so good to see you again! I was wondering when you'd come visit me! It's gotten so quiet in here I can almost hear myself think again!" She giggled as she released her, and stepped back, flashing her characteristic smile. Raven straightened her cloak.

"Happy, I need to talk to Knowledge."

"Oh, you always want to talk to Knowledge or Wisdom, or one of those boring emotions! You never come here just to talk to me!" She pouted, but the playful glint in her eyes betrayed her true feelings.

"And there's a reason for that."

"Yeah? And what's that?"

"Because you're constantly screaming in my head all the time!" She snapped. Her teeth were grinding in annoyance, and she had her best, "scary look" on. It always managed to scare everyone away, especially Beast Boy. Her pink-cloaked clone, however, seemed unfazed. She just smiled and shrugged sheepishly.

Raven huffed and started to walk briskly towards the other end of Happy's residence. She swatted angrily at a passing floating blueberry, ignoring the playful squeak it produced. Happy simply floated alongside her, keeping an even pace. Of course, she was sitting in a lotus position. Upside down. Staring at her. Raven groaned audibly. Even Beast Boy wasn't so impertinent.

"Come on, Rae. You know, if you listened to me more often, you might not be having the problems you've been having!"

She was almost halfway through the colorful hell, but she froze at her clone's words. She slowly turned to face her, narrowing her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

Happy just giggled before floating down (or was it up?), and phasing through the floor. Raven turned every which way, trying to spot her wayward emotion. She jumped as a small, forced cough behind her caught her attention. She glared at Happy, who was now standing right in front of her, blocky, square glasses on her nose, with a fake nose and mustache with matching eyebrows to boot. She held a purple-covered book in one hand, and with her free hand, she busily flipped the pages, stopping to scan the words every so often as she hummed to herself.

"What are you doing? What is that book?"

"This?" Happy asked, not bothering to look up. "This is a complete recollection of all your dreams, with the exception of nightmares, and including but not limited to, flying dreams, abstract dreams, crazy dreams, friend dreams, bunny dreams, hero dreams, and of course, wet dreams."

Raven paled, her heart sinking. She knew where the emotion was going. She just didn't understand why. Before she could speak, Happy stopped on a specific page, and read with hungry eyes, a blush slowly grazing her cheeks. Once she'd finished, she looked up at her with a coy smile.

"My, my, Rae-Rae. Kinda naughty, aren't we, fantasizing about our dear Beasty?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on Raven! I'm inside your head! You can't lie to me about this! I know you enjoyed every second of it!"

"I did no such thing!"

"Yes you did, and I know, because  _I_  enjoyed every second of it!"

Raven stared at Happy with unbelieving eyes, her jaw opening in surprise. Her emotion simply giggled, and tossed the book behind her where it exploded in a cloud of purple dust and sparkles.

"I have to admit though, I didn't know you had it in ya, Rae! To be honest, I kinda wanna know if  _he_  has it in him, too!" Happy giggled again, but it was no longer as innocent a giggle as it had once been.

Raven flushed, suddenly feeling very exposed. Her anger was bubbling up from her stomach, although it could have just been indigestion, or more likely, nervousness.

"Stop it! I don't know what you're getting at. It was just some stupid, hormone-fueled dream. It didn't mean anything!"

Happy suddenly darkened, her giggling silenced and her expression much more serious than she'd ever seen it. Perhaps because she'd never had a serious conversation with this particular emotion. Still, she had no time to dwell on that, because Happy was now inches away from her face.

"It was  _not_  just some stupid dream. It was far from meaningless, and I think you should take this more seriously Raven. Since when is anything that happens in here, meaningless?" She smiled a bit as she said the latter half of her sentence, and Raven felt a bit of relief at seeing her emotion go back to old habits, like smiling, and not looking like something out of her nightmares.

She clutched her chest, feeling her heart beating erratically, her head beginning to spin. She balanced herself against a tree, and slid down the surprisingly smooth bark, until she was sitting with her legs splayed in front of her, and her back resting squarely on the solid wood.

Happy sat down in a lotus position in front of her, watching her with scrutinizing eyes. A few seconds passed in uncomfortable silence, and slowly, she began to feel her body normalize, and her headache diminishing. Happy sensed this, and leaned in a few centimeters.

"Think about it Raven, why would he be the one we chose to be in that specific scene? When there are literally millions of guys to choose from?"

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly." She responded with a grimace.

Happy huffed, giving her a bored look.

"I'm only part of your psyche Raven, so I alone can't give you the full answer. Only you can do that."

A large grin split her face, and Raven was surprised to see her twin blush for the second time in that visit.

"But, that doesn't mean I can't give you  _my_ part of the answer!"

Raven cringed at the excitement dripping from her voice, but she listened intently. Maybe she was going somewhere with this.

"I think Gar is great! I love how he's always cracking jokes, trying to get you to smile! He's constantly looking out for us, always concerned, and he always gets so nervous when he thinks he messed up! It's cute!"

She visibly gagged at that, and Happy laughed out loud at her antics. She herself gave a dry chuckle. She'd never expected to actually laugh with her emotions, but she couldn't help it. Perhaps she'd been exposed to Happy for too long already, but she started to find that she didn't mind. Worse, she realized that what Happy was telling her somehow  _made_ sense. Suddenly, the girl in front of her stopped laughing, and turned her head down, looking up at Raven with a tiny smile. She looked more like her grey-cloaked sister, Timid.

"And, I guess, more than anything, he's the only one who ever really talks to me. Not me, Raven, but me, Happy. You know what I mean. Sure, I'm always around when we talk to Cyborg, or Star, or even Robin, and I'm always cheering when we bag the bad guys…"

Raven found herself leaning forward, inches away from the uncharacteristically timid girl in front of her. She wanted to hug her, encourage her, but more than anything, she wanted to hear whatever it was she was saying. Her voice had dropped to barely above a whisper.

"But when he's around, I feel like he knows I'm there. I feel like I have a reason to exist, and for a few seconds, I can almost feel like a whole person, not just… a fragment…"

It was heartbreaking. Truly heartbreaking. Her most joyful and unrestrained emotion was giving one of the most depressing speeches she'd ever heard, and it almost made her want to hug her and cry. Almost.

Raven cleared her throat and stood up, quickly pulling her hood over her head. Looking around, trying to shake off the gloomy feeling, she saw the previously cheerful landscape around her had become saturated, painted in varying hues of gray. She looked down at Happy, and she felt her chest tighten, sympathy and guilt taking their toll. She did something completely out of character, and offered the sniveling emotion her hand. She took it with a sincere smile, and lifted herself up. Raven smiled at herself, and quickly, the color began to seep back from wherever it had gone. She felt a dash of envy at how Happy could so easily go from depressed to joyful in a matter of seconds. Then again, it wasn't in her nature to be depressed, so she figured it was natural. Right?

"Thank you." Raven said. Happy looked at her and tilted her head, giving her a curious look.

"For what?"

"For giving me a starting point."

Happy just smiled brightly, and joined her as she began to walk toward the exit arch. They walked side by side in a relatively comfortable silence most of the way. Most. Not all.

"So…"

"…"

"Begging?"

"Quit it." She snapped warningly.

"Just asking! Jeez…"

"…"

"I wonder if he…"

"Happy!"

"Sorry!"

"…"

"Can't wait to find out…" Her emotion said in a suggestive whisper.

Raven groaned, pulling her hood tightly over her head, trying to drown out her other self's voice. She just hoped her other emotions weren't as difficult. Or as randy.

 

* * *

 

"Nice going salad head!" Cyborg spat at him as he finished up his breakfast.

"Huh? What'd I do?" He snapped at his friend.

"I don't know, but you'd better fix it, and fast! I've never seen that girl so jumpy!"

"But all I…"

"Cyborg's right," Robin cut in, "Raven was acting strange, especially towards you."

"Me? I just offered her some of my waffles!" He waved towards the plate of waffles still occupying the space in front of his seat.

"No, there's something else. Didn't you notice the way she looked at you?"

The truth was, he had noticed. He'd just hoped the others hadn't, but that hope had apparently been dashed. She'd looked at him almost as if she were scared of him, and at one point, her gaze seemed to portray disgust. It hurt more than he cared to admit. It hurt more than he'd thought it would.

"No. What about the way she looked at me? Looked like everyday Rae to me."

Robin frowned.

"Still, maybe you should try apologizing. She was clearly upset with you."

"No fair! She's the one that went psycho on breakfast, and I haven't even cracked a joke since yesterday's battle!"

His friends simply stared at him with disapproving eyes. Or, at least Robin and Cyborg did. Starfire seemed to be looking at him with pity in her eyes. He groaned and slumped his shoulder in defeat. With one last glance at his delicious waffles, he turned towards the hallway and shuffled towards hi doo… I mean, Raven's room.

He didn't understand. Lately, he'd been doing everything he could to try and be more considerate toward the violet-haired empath. He'd avoided getting in her way, he'd toned down his victory dance when she was nearby, and he'd even tried to stop telling too many jokes when she was within earshot. That last one was particularly difficult, but he had done it, all to try to earn some brownie points with someone he considered one of his closest friends.

But if she'd noticed his extra consideration, she didn't show it. And from the events of that morning, he was starting to think that she detested him even more now.

Fortunately, before his train of thought careened into his self-esteem, he arrived at his destination, face to face with one of the most daunting doors within the entire tower. Five little letters formed an ominous message that was more than enough of a warning for anyone who knew what it meant. RAVEN was engraved in large, bold letters, and unlike the other similarly carved names across the towers, this one had a menacing aura all around it. Maybe it was just his sharpened animal instincts, but in any case, it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and calmed himself down. He hadn't done anything wrong. He knew that. She  _probably_  knew that. So there was really little, if anything, to be afraid of. With a trembling fist, he tapped against the door. And just as he tapped the third tap, he heard a distinct clattering sound coming from within the room. A metallic clang, muffled by the walls, but not so much that his keen ears couldn't pick it up.

"Raven?"

No answer. The noise in and of itself hadn't been alarming per say. It didn't seem to indicate any real danger, and it hadn't sounded menacing. He would have heard any signs of struggling, or muffled conversation, but nothing reached his ears, and that greatly alarmed him. He gulped, and tried not to think too much. Not a very difficult task. He knocked again, this time rapping his knuckles with some force against the steel frame.

"Rae? You there? Come on, I just wanna talk…"

Still no answer. He was getting nervous. He pressed his ear against the door. Nothing. Not even the sound of rustling pages, or even her breathing. No sounds whatsoever. Now, he was worried.

"Raven, I'm coming in. If you're there, say something and I'll stop… Otherwise…"

He didn't have to finish. He pressed against the door's security panel, and it slid open quickly, revealing an empty room. From the pitch-black darkness, the scents of old books and incense flooded his senses, as well as Raven's own distinct aroma. But beneath all that, there was that ever-present, foreboding sensation. Every animal inside of him was fighting an instinctive war. The predators inside of him told him to burst into the room, make himself as large as possible, and make lots of noise. The prey told him to make himself scarce, and fast. He opted for a good old, cautious approach. He took baby steps into Raven's room, his eyes slowly adjusting to the dim lighting.

There was nothing to really be cautious about. Aside from the creepy, four-eyed masks on a pedestal, nothing seemed menacing. He took another step, and his foot collided with something solid. He looked down and saw a book, just lying a few feet from the entrance. He bent down to pick it up, and as he examined it, he recognized it as the book Raven had been reading that morning at breakfast, it's worn out, brown leather cover sliding comfortably against his palms. He remembered seeing her with the book almost every day for the past couple of days. She'd apparently started it recently, but had already made remarkable progress, as was evident by the bookmark places well beyond the halfway point of the book. He tucked it under his arm, planning on taking a look at it later, in the hopes of perhaps finding some sort of clue as to why she'd acted out that morning.

As his gaze returned to the room, another quick scan identified another object thrown haphazardly on the floor, and his eyes went wide with panic. There, just lying there, seemingly innocent, the object that he was now sure had been the source of the clanging he'd heard minutes ago, stared up at him with its empty face.

Raven's mirror. Oh, except it wasn't just her mirror. It was the portal into her mind, and he'd learned that, alongside Cyborg, very much the hard way. He took a wary step back, knowing full well what that little mirror was capable of. One, he did not look forward to another trip through Raven's psyche, let alone another encounter with her mentally unbalanced clones. And two, he didn't want to think of the consequences he'd have to face when, if, he ever made it out of the mirror.

No way, Raven had already bombed her tea, he didn't need to be her next target. With another two steps, he was back in the hallway. Never taking his eyes off the mirror, half-expecting it to grow legs and jump at his throat, he grabbed the edge of the door, and slowly dragged it across its rails, closing it shut.

If Raven was in her mindscape, he would just have to wait her out and apologize when she was done parading inside her head. As weird as that sounded. It was at that moment that he once again took notice of the thick book he had tucked beneath his left arm. He figured his waffles were probably already cold, or more likely, devoured by Cyborg, and if he went back without having apologized to Raven, no matter the excuse, Robin would lecture him and Cy would give him his stern older-brother look. He glanced at the cover of the book.

It wouldn't have been his first choice, but then again, neither was being green.


	3. Chapter 3

 

**CHAPTER III**

 

* * *

 

 

Raven kicked at a nearby stone, sending it flying beyond her realm, sent to float the starry expanse forever. She also stubbed her toe. But she didn't care. She was growing frustrated by the minute. The talk she'd had with Happy had seemed remarkably productive. She'd expected Happy to simply babble nonsense, like she tended to do, yet she'd been pleasantly surprised by her thoughtful contributions. It set her expectations soaring regarding the other emotions. She'd been unpleasantly disappointed.

Timid's maze was dreary as ever, and just as jumbled, but the fearful emotion was nowhere to be found. She'd gotten lost three times in that infernal maze before she'd finally gave up, and backtracked her way to the middle. She made it to the exit after two more tries, finding new twists and turns she hadn't expected, but not once did she see any signs of the grey cloaked girl.

Rude, on the other hand, had not been hard to find. She was simply lying on top of a beaten-up barcalounger, her body in a none-too-flattering position, munching on a cold slice of pizza. She'd always been one of her more ridiculous and unnecessary emotions, but she was also one of the easiest to control. On this occasion, however, Rude was uncharacteristically talkative, providing rather colorful commentary on her dream. She'd sprinted across the realm, dodging discarded pizza boxes and beer cans along the way, trying to ignore the crude emotion flying next to her. If her dream had made her nervous, some of Rude's observations made her outright panic. She'd made it through physically unharmed, but she had more than a few mental images that she'd not be forgetting anytime soon. She wasn't sure how she could bring herself to talk to Beast Boy ever again after that. Let alone look at him. She shuddered. Whether it was in disgust or excitement, not even she could tell. She blamed Rude for that.

She had hoped Brave would be of more help, and she'd actually crossed her fingers when she walked into the Greco-Roman styled amphitheater that Brave called home. She'd found the forest-green emotion sparring towering, shadowy figures made of smoke and energy. As soon as she'd spotted her, the smoky apparitions vanished, and Brave turned her attention to the newcomer. But once again, she hadn't been of much help. For the most part, she ignored her, performing a variety of exercises as she talked. But when Beast Boy's dream was brought up, she could have sworn the emotion had actually  _blushed_. Any hopes she could have harbored at gleaning more information from her courageous counterpart were quickly dashed by her sharp comment.

"Hmm. He's cute. Got a nice but too. If you need my help asking him out, I'm all for it. The bedroom, however, is more Lust's department." Brave said teasingly, giving her a smirk, and then watching her storm off towards the exit arch.

"Unless you wanted to try something new!" Brave yelled out as she stepped towards the arch. "I wouldn't mind experimenting with Beast  _Man_!"

Now, there she was, a few feet away from the door into Knowledge's library. She wanted to believe that her smart half would be more cooperative, but by now, she wasn't too keen on getting her hopes up. She swallowed as much air as possible, trying to calm herself down, and pushed the door open.

Mahogany bookshelves surrounded her on all sides, reaching up into the murky depths of the ceiling. If there even was a ceiling. Raven suspected the bookshelves went up for miles, or maybe even forever. She didn't really have time to check, and she didn't really care either.

The library was almost as bad as Timid's maze. She usually had the shelves memorized in their chaotic ordering, but now she was finding fantasy among travel guides, memories mixed with fantasies, and hopes mingled with fears. She shudder, not wanting to overly analyze what this new order meant. She supposed she'd have to ask Knowledge herself.

She found the studious emotion floating in mid-air between two nearly-empty bookcases, a dozen or so books orbiting her at breakneck speed as she flipped through one of the lengthy volumes. Raven gave a small cough to try and get her attention. It apparently worked, although Knowledge gave little indication of it, other than the books slowing down, and a quick glance her way.

"Hello Raven. I was wondering when you'd show up."

"Believe me, I got here as fast as I could."

Raven lifted herself up to Knowledge's height, mirroring her position, sitting cross-legged at her emotion's eye-level. Knowledge simply kept flipping through the yellowed pages of the book before her.

"You know why I'm here?"

"I should hope so, otherwise my purpose is defeated."

Silence shrouded the room, interrupted only by the sound of a swishing page.

"Well?" Raven asked impatiently.

Knowledge looked up at her and stared blankly at her. Raven suddenly felt uncomfortable beneath this emotion's steely gaze. There was something behind her eyes, as if she knew something she herself didn't. It shouldn't have surprised her, but it was still unsettling.

"There are many things I could say regarding the topic you've come here to discuss. However, I think it would be for the best if you asked more specific questions. It might make this process easier."

"What process?"

"The process of allowing yourself to see."

"I don't understand."

"If you do not understand, then neither can I."

Raven rolled her eyes. Knowledge was one of the few emotions she tolerated having a conversation with, but she had the tendency to complicate things.

"Alright fine, I'll ask…"

She thought for a few seconds, Knowledge never taking her eyes off of her. It didn't help her think, but the silent pressure finally pushed her to voice the question she'd been so hesitant to ask.

"Why Beast Boy?"

"Why Beast Boy?" Knowledge repeated the question, frustration tugging at her voice.

She bit her lip and nodded, any confidence she'd had about the question slowly fading. Her emotion huffed, and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, giving her a look of annoyance.

"I assume you meant to ask why Beast Boy appeared in your dreams…?"

"Uh-huh." Raven nodded again.

"Right. Like I said, specific."

"I don't have time for this!" she spat angrily, struggling to contain her temper.

Knowledge simply sighed and started to float back down. Raven followed her promptly, although her landing had lacked the finesse of knowledge's. She was still steaming, hating how evasive her nerdy clone was being. She followed her with her eyes, as Knowledge reached up, and plucked the book she'd been flipping through before. She held its cover out for Raven to see.

"This is a collection of all the jokes Beast Boy has told you over the past six years."

"That's it? I expected it to be longer."

"This is volume eight."

"Oh." Raven said quietly. It didn't really surprise her. Still, yet another emotion was beating around the bush. She really didn't have much patience left for such nonsense, but she did her best to remain pacific.

"I've been leafing through these, and I find the task tedious, repetitive, and I still haven't been able to find anything truly appealing in any of his so-called jokes."

"Well, there's no surprise there."

"Prior to that, I browsed through some of your memories of Beast Boy."

"And…?"

"Most of them are of minor annoyances, some of major annoyances, and the rest are usually miscellaneous and insignificant encounters."

"Happy got her point across much faster than you."

Knowledge cast her a depreciative look. She half-expected her to stick her tongue out at her.

"My point is, that all the empirical evidence I've managed to sift through so far, would indicate that your relationship with Beast Boy is rather negative."

Raven frowned. Now  _that_  made no sense. Sure, Beast Boy was annoying most of the time, and yes, she'd snapped more than once at the green changeling. But she considered him one of her closest friends. All the Titans were her friends, but the others respected her privacy and personal space. Beast Boy didn't.

Ever since their first encounter, he'd done everything he could to disrupt her peaceful seclusion. Be it interrupting her meditations with a lame joke, or cut into her reading time by attempting to include her in some sort of social activity. But over the years, Raven had begun to realize that she'd relished his constant attempts at including her. It made her feel as though they wanted her around, and not just physically, but as their friend. It made her feel as though she were part of something beautiful, that she'd never experienced before. But most importantly, she'd realized how he made her feel as though he wanted her, needed her. And in some small way, the feeling was mutual.

Knowledge appeared to have been eavesdropping in on her mental process, but Raven couldn't really chastise her for that. Technically, she  _was_  part of her own mind. However, that was no excuse for the smug grin that now plastered her dorky doppelganger's face.

"What?" Raven snapped at her, feeling overly exposed, for what felt like the twelfth time in the last two short hours.

"That's just it. The empirical evidence does not support the fact that we feel something for Beast Boy that goes beyond basic tolerance."

"He's a friend… A good friend…"

Knowledge just smirked. And Raven couldn't help but notice the distinct tone of a blush appear on her cheeks for just a fraction of a second. She quickly realized that she was mirroring Knowledge, and she raised a hand to touch her warm, flushed cheeks. Suddenly, as if pulled out of thin air, a gargantuan tome appeared in the air between the two Ravens. The apparition fortunately distracted Raven from any wayward thoughts at that moment, her blush temporarily forgotten. The book bore a faded green cover, and looked as though it had been given plenty of use. Knowledge apparently ignored her as she continued her own monotonous speech.

"This…" Knowledge said, drawing in a small breath, "is one of the more popular books here in Nevermore. It's constantly being checked out, hence it's unfortunate state. Rage herself stopped by once to browse through it, until she eventually slammed it against the nearest wall and attempted to burn this whole place to the ground."

Raven knew she should have been worried, but all she felt at that moment was sheer, unbridled curiosity.

"What is this?" Raven asked softly, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own heartbeat.

Knowledge smiled and pushed the book forward, which fell into her arms. Raven gasped at the weight. It was heavier than she'd expected, and much larger too. She opened the book, and flipped the thick pages, not really taking much in. Although, it had a distinct smell. Not just the usual smell of parchment and ink, but she couldn't quite place it.

"That book is a complete recollection of every selfless deed and kind action Beast Boy has performed. Specifically concerning you."

Raven frowned, and looked up at Knowledge, questioning her with a curious expression, before she returned her attention to the words in the pages, choosing to read a random passage.

Raven blushed yet again as she was reminded of the events scribbled on the page. One morning, not two months back, when she'd woken up, and found that her tea had been already set up, along with a plate of waffles, a blueberry muffin (her secret favorite breakfast food), and a tiny note from Beast Boy that read  _"-Get well soon! Love, Gar-"_. It had been sitting on a tray just outside her bedroom door, but she'd found no sign of the perpetrator. She blushed just as she'd blushed when she'd read the note. She remembered it had been the day after a particularly lousy fight against the Hive Five, and she'd ended up exhausted beyond all reason, and more than a bit bruised.

"The tea was absolutely dreadful."

Raven looked up again at Knowledge, just in time to see her smile slyly. After two seconds of silence, they both shared a quiet chuckle, reminiscing about the bitter concoction Beast Boy had made for her. She'd never expected to share a laugh with her usually dreary, logical clone, but the memory of how Beast Boy had failed at something as simple as brewing a cup of tea, while trying to do something nice, simply caused something warm to bubble up deep within her chest.

"Yes, it was…" Raven took a breath, calming her sudden bout of laughter. As she toyed around with the warm memory, Knowledge spoke again, but this time with a distinctive softness to her tone, and a rather uncharacteristic shyness.

"His behavior towards us over the past years defies any and all logical reasoning. Especially when you consider the fact that we seldom respond in the kindest of ways…"

Knowledge's voice appeared to falter at this, and Raven herself could feel a sort of darkness looming overhead. It was quickly accompanied by a tug from within her stomach, and she almost felt sick. She knew the feeling, and she knew it too well for comfort. It was guilt. Simple as that. She looked up at her emotion to find her suffering the same fate. It was extremely uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Ugh, I hate feeling like this."

"Then you should know what you have to do…"

Raven's heartbeat became erratic, and she struggled to look up at her emotion. She was right, of course, as was usual. But as much as she  _knew_  what she should do, she also knew what it might entail.

"I can't tell him… I couldn't bear the embarrassment…"

"But you would willingly allow him to suffer for your own comfort?"

"He doesn't suffer! He should know by now that that's how I show my… fondness…"

"He should, shouldn't he?" Knowledge asked her incriminatingly. "Yet you know deep down that he takes your words to heart. You can see the hurt on his face clear as day, every time he walks away after one of our… comments."

Raven knew she was right. After all these years, she'd started to appreciate Beast Boy. But she didn't know how to show it without releasing some form of emotion. Every time he told a joke, or pulled a prank, or tried to get her to play his stupid videogames, she'd force herself to respond. But it was always with a witty remark, a sharp comeback, or a cruel putdown of the activity he was proposing. She meant it playfully. It had become their trademark routine, and she enjoyed it. But she knew it hurt him nonetheless. And she knew she couldn't respond any other way. Not without risking losing control, or worse… without him misunderstanding or drawing the wrong conclusions.

How would he have reacted if after one of his jokes, she laughed? Or if she actually accepted an invitation to go to the arcade downtown, or for a stroll in the park? She would have probably gladly done either. At least Happy would have. But what if he took it as more than just a sign of her accepting friendship? What if he thought she felt… something else… towards him…?

"But it's not just friendship anymore, is it?"

"Huh?" Knowledge had broken into her thoughts once more. It was honestly starting to annoy her. Knowledge just stared at her with her usual calculating stare.

"What you feel towards Beast Boy, it is no longer simply friendship, am I correct? It's developed into something else entirely. It's gratitude. It's admiration. It's affection. And yes, perhaps, even attraction."

Raven paled, her greyish skin fading to almost transparent. Every word that knowledge uttered seemed to pierce her like a blade, and it dug deep into the middle of her chest. It made breathing seem more complicated than it really was, and thinking rationally was practically out of the question. Thoughts, emotions, memories, ideas, they were shooting around, mingling and crashing and racing so fast she couldn't focus on any one of them.

Unfortunately, her mindscape reflected her thought process, and the library around her began to rumble. The very foundations of the world seemed to be shaking, and books began to whiz about, flying from one shelf to the other, others seemed to simply float around, while some even spontaneously combusted. Knowledge stood her ground, appearing unfazed.

"Raven. You have to relax. I understand that it's difficult to process this. These are brand new feelings you have to deal with. But we cannot continue if you don't calm down."

She closed her eyes, and ushering forth all her strength, willed her mind to calm itself. Finding her center was always difficult when she was inside her own mind, but soon enough, she felt her makeshift meditation start to pay off as the world surrounding her shuddered to a standstill. Silence reigned, and the chaos ceased as everything around her froze in place. Slowly, one by one, the books around her began to move back to their respective places, and her mind slowly became clear once more, her worries temporarily taking a backseat in her mind.

Raven groaned, lifting a hand to rub her throbbing temples as she felt the telltale signs of an oncoming headache.

"Ugh. Why does this keep happening?" She asked her emotion, shutting her eyes tightly in a vain attempt to ease the pain. Knowledge gave a sad sigh.

"These… emotional tremors, will continue until you settle your feelings for Beast Boy, whatever they may be."

"What… What do you mean?"

"It means that your current emotions contradict each other when it comes to Garfield, and so long as this is happening, your mind will suffer the consequences. You'll have to choose, and choose wisely. After that, it's just a matter of development." Knowledge responded.

She hated how Knowledge spoke of everything as if it were painfully obvious. She hated the fact that Knowledge expected her to do something so incredibly difficult and potentially embarrassing. But most of all, she hated the fact that she was right. Even if it was because she herself knew, deep down, what she had to do, hearing Knowledge remind her was torturous in and of itself.

But it was something that had to be done. That book, that damned book, had triggered all of this. To anyone else, it might have been just a particularly lewd scene in an otherwise great book, but to her, it had been the catalyst to an emotional unbalance. It had created the dream, and for some reason, placed Beast Boy in its midst. She still didn't particularly understand why, but as much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to see a  _few_  reasons as to why that may have been. Still…

Knowledge's lecturing tone once again broke through her thoughts, although this time, she was practically grateful for the distraction. She wasn't sure where her train of thought had been heading, but she wasn't particularly keen on figuring it out either.

"I think it would be best if you talked to someone…"

"I know. I just have to figure out what I'm going to say to him…"

Knowledge chuckled with mild amusement, leaving Raven perplexed, and slightly miffed.

"No, not Beast Boy. Someone else entirely. Someone you haven't seen in a long, long time. Someone who lately, had been dying to speak to you."

Raven gulped. Knowledge's vague description really left no doubt about it, but all she could do was pray that she was wrong, and Knowledge was referring to someone else entirely. She knew that wasn't the case, but it never hurt to hope.

Then again, with the way things were going…

_Damn…_

* * *

Beast Boy never really did like books. They were usually long, tedious, full of boring, wordy descriptions, and had the tendency to include few, if any, illustrations. Besides, words were never really his thing. They often became jumbled when he tried to focus, and the focus in itself was difficult for him to maintain. Something to do with his shifting DNA and the animalistic instincts he'd developed. Sitting still for extended periods of time was particularly unbearable.

But he did his best, regardless of how much he wanted to drop the blasted book and go do anything else at all. He knew Raven had been reading the same book for the past few days. He also knew that she'd been reading the book when she'd fallen asleep that morning, although he was pretty sure she was half-asleep even when she'd started reading. And now, he was pretty sure he knew why she'd looked so uncomfortable over breakfast.

Sitting against the cold walls of the hall, directly across from Raven's door, Beast boy sat with his legs splayed out haphazardly in front of him, with the book firmly in his grip as he forced himself to read on. He'd flipped instantly to the page Raven had bookmarked, figuring he wouldn't have time to read the whole thing up to that point, nor would he want to.

It had started out pretty difficult to understand, but he figured that was because he'd skipped some twenty-something chapters. But eventually, he got the gist of it. Some dude, apparently a stable boy or a chimney sweep or something else lowly and degrading, was confessing his love to a princess. Or something. There were a lot of fancy words involved, and he wasn't sure what half of them meant, so he focused on the other half.

By the time he figured out what was going on, it was too late, and he found himself caught in the middle of a rather intimate scene in the book. His eyes widened and a deep blush appeared on his face, leaving him a rather unbecoming shade of maroon. He felt his lips dry up, and the collar of his uniform suddenly seemed rather tight, as well as some other parts of his spandex suit. He crossed his legs and kept reading, praying that no one chose that particular moment to wander the halls. For a moment he thought he might have been misinterpreting the entire scene, and perhaps it was just his mind playing around in the gutter. He read a few choice words which only served to deepen his blush, and convince him that there were no other interpretations of the scene. He had no idea that there were so many ways to describe, well, doing  _that_.

It was embarrassing, sure, and awfully detailed for a book. But Beast Boy quickly found that those weren't the main reasons for his own sudden discomfiture. He was slowly realizing that those very same words had been previously read by none other than Raven. And for some reason, that felt, weird. Shameful. Even dirty.

He was shortly reminded of the time the five Titans had sat down to watch what had seemed to be a perfectly innocent movie, and he recalled their reactions when they were caught off guard by an impromptu love scene. The mortification he'd felt at that moment was similar to what he was feeling now. Of course, it could have been worse. Raven could have been sitting right next to him. He quickly remembered that Raven had in fact been sitting next to him during that movie a few months back. And how he'd quickly scooted away as she mirrored his actions.

Beast Boy slammed the book shut, and flinched at his own action, his sensitive ears overwhelmed by the sharp noise, intensified by the echo of the empty hall. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, trying to think of anything but the book he held in his lap. He failed miserably.

He settled on thinking about Raven. What she'd looked like that morning. She'd seemed extremely tired, and had acted like a zombie for the better part of breakfast. He remembered having watched her flip lazily through the book before she'd set it down, spine-up, to stretch in a cute, silent yawn before resting her head on her hand and promptly falling asleep.

 _Whoa_ , Beast Boy found himself suddenly interrupted by his own voice in his head.  _Cute? Dude, I thought I'd stopped thinking about her like that a long time ago?_

He mentally reprimanded himself, while memories began to flood his mind. Although he was grateful for blood being circulated towards his brain and not other parts of his anatomy, the feelings that those memories brought him were none too pleasant.

He remembered six years back, when the Titans had first formed, along with a crush for a certain dark, secretive empath. He wasn't sure what had brought about his infatuation towards the young sorceress, but it had steadily grown into an almost full-blown obsession. Seeing her smile and enjoy herself became like a drug to him at some point, and he desperately did everything he could to get results. He ran out of decent jokes in about two weeks, but he never gave up.

And then Terra appeared. His heart lurched, and his intestines seemed to play tug of war with his spleen as some of his darkest memories resurfaced. The blonde, fun-loving, earth-wrangling girl had been everything he'd wanted from Raven. A true friend. Someone to laugh at his jokes, to hang out with and play video games with, and to just sit down and talk to. He should have known it was too good to be true. The betrayal hurt almost as much as losing his parents had. Her death had outright left him scarred.

It had been shortly after Terra's death that Beast Boy returned his attentions to Raven. But his already-fragile heart took a beating day after day from her constant rejections and snide remarks. Eventually, he gave up, and it hurt like hell. But he had finally understood that she'd never feel what he felt towards her. A brutal, but necessary, reality check.

But his feelings had never really disappeared. He'd only done his best to keep his hopes regarding his cold, unfeeling teammate, virtually nonexistent. Yet while he'd read the scene, a part of his mind had imagined Raven and him playing out the scene. And now it was occupying most of his mind's eye.

He shook his head, trying to get the scenario out of his head, but as much as he tried, he found that he really didn't want to. The sex part was great and all, and he reminded himself to keep that stored in the back of his mind for a different occasion. But the scene that haunted him was the boy's confession of love to the heroine. He'd felt as though the character was somehow based on him. And he kept imagining himself confessing his feelings towards Raven. Kneeling before her and letting his heart speak every word it had so painfully kept stored away. The relief he'd feel for finally being able to let everything out, and no longer have to walk on eggshells around her.

But in his head, every single time, Raven responded the same way. Rejection. Cold, unfeeling, absolute rejection. And he knew that that was the way it would play out in real life. And if it hurt that badly in his own imagination, he didn't want to picture it happening in real life.

He gingerly stood up, struggling to keep his balance on left leg as he tried to rub his right leg free of millions of tiny pins and needles. With the cursed book clutched tightly under one arm, he closed his eyes, and made up his mind. He wouldn't be able to understand the situation. Not with his feelings in the way. He needed help. Someone who would be honest, and unbiased, and most of all, not so embarrassed by the book that they'd be shocked into an awkward silence.

That left Cyborg clearly out of the picture, as he could just imagine the awkwardness of the whole situation. Robin might be of help, but talking about Raven with him just seemed, wrong, for some reason. So there was only one person he could go to. Someone to ask for help with deciphering Raven. Someone who might be able to give him some more insight into what had happened that morning. And maybe even some help with his own conflicted feelings.

He gave a resigned sigh and trudged off towards the common room, hoping he might find her watching television or cooking some weird Tamaranean meal. Step by step, he shuffled away from Raven's room, silently hoping that his twisted plan would somehow yield result.

 _Well, what's the worst that could happen?_  He thought to himself…

He would shortly find out.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER IV**

 

* * *

 

 

"Star?"

Starfire's head popped up from behind the couch, donning a wide smile and a sparkle in her emerald eyes. She floated off the couch and before he could react, she was hovering inches away from Beast Boy himself, eye to eye.

"Oh, hello Beast Boy! The boys and I were wondering what was taking you so long to do the apologizing. Is everything alright now?" Starfire inclined her head innocently, clearly awaiting his response.

Beast Boy swallowed audibly. He'd had a lucky break seeing as how neither Cyborg nor Robin were anywhere in sight, but he didn't trust his luck to hold out. And the alien princess before him might not understand everything… Or anything for that matter. As he backed away a few inches from Starfire's inquisitive face, he mentally kicked himself and his plan. But there was no going back now.

"Um, yeah, about that…"

Starfire's brow creased, as she cast her trademarked disapproving frown upon him. Yep, already things weren't going well. Although maybe he'd at least get the chance to explain. He instinctively held the book tighter across his chest, perhaps subconsciously hoping it would act as a shield against his friend's glare

"Beast Boy." Starfire voice rose a few decibels, "You  _did_  apologize to friend Raven, did you not?" Her question was emphasized by her own movements, floating closer to Beast Boy, and lifting herself higher to look down at him. In all honesty, Beast Boy felt even more of a blush come to his face. Leave it to Starfire to make things even  _more_  uncomfortable.

"Star, listen to me for a sec, would ya? I went to Raven's room, but she wasn't there."

"Oh?" Starfire seemed to relax exponentially, floating back down to face Beast Boy at eye level (for which he was extremely grateful, yet a tad disappointed), and her usual innocent, curious look adorning her face once again. "Where was she, then?"

_Uh-oh…_

Beast Boy really hadn't put much thought into how to explain Raven's whereabouts. If he'd had this conversation with Cyborg, awkwardness aside, he knew Cy would've understood. But he couldn't exactly lie to Starfire, nor could he waste time explaining the complexities of Raven's mirror and its inner workings.

"She, um, she went to another dimension… Or something like that… to meditate…" He cringed as the words left his mouth, knowing just how weak a cover up he was offering. Technically, he guessed it was pretty close to the truth, far-fetched as it sounded. But for once, he was glad for Starfire's naivety. She just nodded and kept looking at him, apparently expecting him to continue with his narrative. He was happy to oblige.

"Anyways, I… I found this book in Raven's room, just lying on the floor, and, well…"

"Oh, is that not the book friend Raven was reading this morning?" Starfire asked, her eyes now fixed on the object he still clutched to his chest.

"Yeah."

Without explanation, and in the blink of an eye, Starfire grasped the book from his hands and began to examine it from every possible angle, narrowing her eyes. At least she wasn't pressing the issue of him not having apologized yet. Beast Boy stood stock still in surprise, and tried to protest, only for Starfire to interrupt his feeble words.

"Raven has been very protective of this book lately. When I asked her about it, she was rather secretive about it. She only said that it had too much steam for my tastes, I believe. She still appears to enjoy it very much. Despite the steam." Starfire said, her voice becoming more airy, almost breathing out each word. Her furrowed brow added to her confounded expression.

He could have sworn his ears were glowing red by now. He was partially relieved that the conversation had already taken a turn farther away from what he'd hoped to discuss, but the new topic wasn't less awkward. Hoping Starfire's attention would remain on the book, he rubbed his cheeks to try and rid them of their blush.

Beast Boy managed to stutter, "She did? Sh-she does?"

"Oh yes. Raven told me this book was very enjoyable, but that it wasn't… What was the word she used? Suited, I believe, to my innocence. I did not understand, but she would not say any more." Starfire seemed disappointed, apparently the memory was still fresh in her mind. Beast Boy paled, looking at his innocent friend with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"Steam? She said the book had too much… steam?"

Starfire looked at him, this time concern showing on her graceful features, and Beast Boy did his best to appear normal. It didn't do much help, but it was better than nothing. Star attention was now back on him, and he wasn't really enjoying it all that much. His brain was still fuzzy after hearing everything he did, trying to make sure he'd actually heard right. He'd heard a lot of different ways to describe erotic books, but steam was certainly… different.

"Yes," Starfire said, worry clinging to her tone, "I'm sorry Beast Boy, I do not understand your apprehension. Is this a bad thing, for a book to have steam? …You look as though a Loksh'nard had crawled under your covers."

Beast Boy paid no mind to the alien reference, and focused on relieving Star of her concern.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. No, it's not bad it's just… complicated. I didn't think Raven would be into that sorta stuff. Beast Boy responded with a dismissive wave of his hand, trying to act as casual as his body would allow.

It seemed it was Starfire's turn to blush and look shameful, and he noticed she was now handling the book as if it were filthy, gingerly holding it up with two fingers. In all honesty, it did nothing to settle his own nerves, or stifle his assumptions.

"I have never read the books of steam…" Starfire confessed shyly, as if ashamed for it. "I do not know what they are like, or what they are about, or what makes them steam. Perhaps you could enlighten me, Beast Boy?"

Oh, what a question. It would have been hard enough coming from anyone else, but from Star? And to answer it all the more complicated. How does one explain erotic literature to an alien girl with the innocence of a human four-year-old?

"Oh, I uh, well, um… Y-you know what, why don't you go ahead and ask Raven about that when she gets back. She might be able to explain it better than me."

"Very well!" Starfire said, handing Beast Boy back the dreaded book; the cause of all the scandalous commotion.

Starfire apparently sensed the end of the conversation, and quickly flew back to her place on the couch, as she nestled into the cushions. The latest reality show blared its god-awful theme music as a picture of a wealthy, plastic-looking family flashed on the screen. Her attention was fully on the television, and Beast Boy felt his subconscious kicking him into action. He stepped forward, slowly eliminating the distance between him and the back of the salmon-colored couch.

 _Okay, keep it casual, cool, uninterested… Kinda like Raven._  Beast Boy chuckled inwardly at his own lame joke as he crossed his arms and laid them on the backrest of the couch, just above Starfire's head. He struggled with the contrasting thoughts forming in his mind, screaming to be pronounced, as he looked at Star's upside down face, and offered her a staggered smile.

"Beast Boy? Is something the matter?" She asked, tilting her head slightly to try and gain a better perspective of his face. He just shook his head quickly, and put his plan to action.

"No, nothing major. Just… Star, can I ask you something?" Beast Boy found himself unable to maintain eye-contact as he asked her, his gut beginning to twist into itself in anticipation of the situation he was inevitably placing himself in. Starfire just blinked.

"I believe you just did, friend…"

He stifled a laugh, for her sake. If it had been a joke, coming from her, it was hilarious. If it was more alien naivety, well, might as well try and avoid hurting her feelings. He stretched his arms out, increasing the distance between them, just for comfort's sake.

"No, I mean… can I ask you about something… personal?" Beast Boy felt his heart thumping faster against his ribcage, urging him to speak faster and get this over with. Starfire looked at him with a wary expression, seemingly contemplating the risks of allowing him a question that would possibly become awkward and/or embarrassing. After a few seconds of her scrutinizing glare, and of his sweat beading on his forehead, she seemed to accept his challenge, as she shifted her weight on the couch, and muted the shouting match between two young blondes currently occupying most of the television screen.

Beast Boy simply flashed her another of his toothy grins in thanks, and grabbing the back of the couch firmly, he somersaulted over unto the cushion right next to Star's, landing cross legged, facing the object of his inquiry. He silently thanked Robin for the training, although he also laughed internally, knowing full well he'd never admit that he had actually come to enjoy the physical training their leader put them through.

"Very well," Starfire said, a hint of concern tugging at her voice. "What is the personal question that you wish to ask me?" Beast Boy fiddled with his thumbs, working to look absolutely anywhere but directly in front of him.

"I, um… well, I've kinda been having these weird sorta… feelings…" Starfire seemed to squirm a bit in her place, so he hurried to clarify. "For someone. Feelings for… someone…" He sighed as a significant weight lifted from his shoulders, but immediately regretted it as the same weight seemed to settle into his stomach. Glancing sideways though, he thought that the queasiness he now felt might have been because of the glowing purple concoction that was Starfire's snack sitting on the coffee table, releasing a strong, tangy scent.

"Uh-huh. And are these feeling of the romance?"

Beast Boy could only gulp in response and bob his head half-heartedly. He considered turning into a kitten and performing the face, if only to wipe the almost evil smirk playing on Starfire's lips at that moment.

"Very well. And you wish to know how to express these feelings to the someone?" She asked mischievously.

"No!" He said, albeit a bit too loud for his own taste, his vocal chords fueled by a sudden panic. "No, I don't need any help  _expressing_ these feelings. It's just that…"

"Just what?"

He sighed, feeling depressed and defeated, cornered into a near-confession. He leaned back and slammed his head down against the plush armrest, closing his eyes against the bright sunlight streaming through the window.

"I don't think this person feels the same way. Actually, I'm pretty sure she doesn't, and probably wouldn't. Ever. And I don't know what to do anymore."

He felt himself welling up, and it took all his strength to think of something, anything else, to hold back the emotions he was currently choking down. This was embarrassing enough. He didn't need to cry on top of everything. He shook it off with a small groan, and rubbed his palms hard against his eyes, at least creating an excuse for his red eyes.

He almost jumped as a warm, comforting hand landed on his knee, and offered a gentle squeeze.

"Beast Boy, you should not be feeling so down. I am certain you are doing the overreacting, as friend Cyborg says."

He sat up, using his abdominals to propel himself back to a sitting position, and looked at Starfire incredulously.

"Are you kidding? Someone like her would never even  _dream_  about a guy like me in that way! I'm way under her league, and she knows it. She's probably got hundreds of other suitors, and I'm pretty sure most of them aren't fanged, pointy-eared, green-skinned freaks!"

Starfire looked a bit taken aback by his outburst, and the intensity of his words had surprised even him. He panted, trying to catch a breath he hadn't realized he'd lost, as Starfire looked at him with sympathy and apprehension; a dangerous combination if ever there was one.

"Friend, you are much too hard on yourself…"

"Yeah, sure…" He interrupted her, rolling his eyes for added measure.

"I am serious." Starfire spoke with new confidence in her voice. A tone that demanded to be listened to. "You are a kind, generous friend, who has always been there for us whenever we needed you. You help bring joy to our lives, and are there to cheer us up whenever we are feeling the blue. And you have always selflessly put others before you. You are a hero, no matter what you look like, Beast Boy. So I will not allow you to do the beating up of yourself."

Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck and simply stared at his friend. Someone he'd always considered the most innocent and naïve of the group, and yet somehow had a pretty clear view of the world around her. He felt as though he'd been praised and chastised all at once, and figured she was probably one of the two people who would ever manage to do that.

"Wow… I… I don't know what to say… Thanks, Star…"

"And I think your pointy ears are the cute." She added with a sincere smile.

This brought a blush to his face, and his ears drooped in embarrassment, apparently very apprehensive towards the comment aimed at them.

"Gee, thanks." He chuckled, and began to once more feel more relaxed as he sat in front of his long-time friend. He had to admit, he'd never really talked all that much with Starfire, but he'd always felt there was something of a bond between them. They never seemed to feel awkward or nervous around each other, and he figured it was because of the childlike innocence playfulness that they both seemed to share. Over the years, their friendship had grown, but most of their encounters had been superficial, yet still just as significant. As far as he knew, this was the first time he'd actually opened up to anyone on the team about his emotions. And he realized that there really was no one better suited for the job.

"Do not worry, Beast Boy. I am sure that this person that you have the feelings for will surprise you. She may very well feel the same way!" Starfire's cheery tone did nothing to ease the fluttering in his stomach as he was once again reminded of the cause of the conversation.

"Unlikely." Beast Boy said, his shoulders instinctively slumping. "She's never treated me as more than just a friend. And barely even that. I've tried everything to make her see how I feel about her. I've even backed down to see if that would at least make her friendlier. But nothing! I don't know what else to do."

Starfire smiled a strange smile, and he noticed a sparkle in her jade-green eyes that he knew all too well. He'd seen it plenty of times from Cyborg's human eye just before pulling one of his deadly pranks, or in Robin just before announcing his latest plan to bring down the current baddy. Coming from Starfire, it sent a chill running down his spine.

"Have you tried doing the sharing of your feelings with this girl?"

Beast Boy just snorted.

"Oh yeah, sure, right before I put on my sundress and had a tea party with Brother Blood and the guys from Hive."

Starfire seemed confused for a few seconds, and he figured she was probably imagining the scenario. He saved her the trouble.

"Sarcasm, Star. We went over this, remember?"

"Right." Star said, sheepishly. A dash of pink grazing her cheeks as she looked slightly away. He chuckled at her discomfort, which honestly, helped him feel more at ease. Still, he fought back a twinge of guilt, knowing how sensitive she was about the whole language barrier deal.

She seemed to get over her minor slip-up fairly quickly, and was back to assaulting him in a matter of seconds. "Why do you not speak of your feelings with… this girl? I am sure it would help your relationship. She might not know that your feelings are of romantic intent. Is it not possible that she might have misinterpreted your actions towards her?"

"Uh-uh. No way. She's not exactly the… talkative type, if you catch my drift. Or the sentimental type. It would probably end up with me heartbroken, and tossed into the nearest dumpster." He shuddered at the thought. He thought of rejection, and pain, and tried thinking of anything else to settle his mind. Not surprisingly, his mind once more wandered towards thoughts of Raven.

"You are thinking in the negative again Beast Boy. You wanted my advice on what to do with these feelings, did you not?" She adopted a strange, haughty position, chin tilted upwards, looking down at him with a serious expression, although her eyes shone with evident amusement. That, and he was pretty sure she was fighting back a huge grin.

He couldn't help it. Her bubbly, playfully optimistic attitude was incredibly contagious, and he found himself fighting back a smile as well. He nodded in consent.

"Well then, my advice is for you to talk to this girl. Be yourself, and be the honest."

"Star, I can't just go up to her and say, 'Hey, remember me? Yeah, we met a few years back, I've been crushing on you ever since, just wondering if you felt the same way?'!" Despite his desperate tone, there was a hint of amusement he couldn't hold back. He blamed Starfire.

Oddly enough, she surprised him with her own bout of chuckling, her hair bouncing around as if laughing along with her. "That would be a most unfortunate thing to say, indeed!" She looked at him, this time a large smile plastered across her face, while his own uncertain little smile grew.

"I said you must talk to this girl. I did not say you had to confess to her." She continued. "Simply speak with her, about anything, but not being the goofy. Try having a serious conversation, and be sincere with your intentions. Do not worry about your reputation, or how you may look to others. She might then be more willing to, as you say, open up more." She ended with a graceful smile.

He didn't buy it for one second. It seemed way to smart, way to wise for Starfire. He'd expected her to recommend the boiling of some traditional Tamaranean stew of unrequited love or something.

"Where'd you get that lime of a speech?"

Starfire lifted her shoulders in a non-committal shrug. "Oprah."

He laughed out loud at that one, and Starfire soon joined him. In a matter of seconds, he found tears in his eyes, and an ache running up his sides. It wasn't even that particularly funny. Amusing, sure, but it wasn't roll-on-the-floor-laughing hilarious. Still, he blamed his current, vulnerable emotional state, and besides, a good laugh for no good reason always helped his mood.

A few minutes had passed while they settled down, al the awkwardness and gloom that had shrouded the conversation, dissipated in that small bout of laughter. Wiping a stray tear from his eye, he turned to watch Starfire looking at him with a heart-warming smile.

"You know, we're gonna have to talk to Robin about your TV habits."

Starfire gave a small chuckle. "Hmm, very well. But please tell me, will you do as I suggested? Will you speak with this girl? And will you not hide your feelings?"

It sounded like a perfect plan, and thinking back, he never really tried the 'direct' approach. It was obvious as to why. And that small detail came forth now as a flaw in Star's advice.

"Is that what you did with Robin?" He watched her smile slowly disappear, and her brow crease as the bitter memories of her own lengthy crush on the Boy Wonder came forth. He hated having to make her think back to all those awkward moments spent together, but it was the best comparison he could think of. It was the flaw in her plan.

"Well, no…" She admitted hesitantly. "I did not. I was new to this planet, and human emotions were very strange to me. They still are sometimes."

"So you kept your feelings a secret, right? Because you were afraid that he might not have felt the same." He pressed on, despite the bitterness sketched on her face. He hated pushing her, but it was causing him more pain than it was her. Besides, he reasoned, it all worked out for her in the end.

She shivered a bit, and the way she'd tucked herself into a tight ball, he thought she might have been just a sniveling toddler caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"I was not sure if Robin would feel the same…"

"So you said nothing. What if you  _had_  said something, and he'd rejected you? How would you have felt?" His voice was raising, and he was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with all the emotions playing in his head. Starfire, on the other hand, seemed close to tears, yet maintained a sympathetic expression, which could almost have been confused with pity.

"I… I would have felt terrible, yes. But he did not say such a thing. He  _did_  have feelings for me, and now I regret not having spoken of my feelings with him much earlier. That is why I think you should do the same."

Beast Boy just scoffed. "Star, you and Robin were made for each other. It's like somebody  _designed_  you as a couple. Things aren't that simple for other people… Especially in my case."

A bitter silence settled between them, and stayed there for a few long minutes, as they each processed the conversation. Beast Boy felt awful, and particularly guilty about taking out his frustrations on Starfire. She was looking down at her hands, clasped tightly on her lap, her eyes lost, deep in thought. He didn't remember standing up, but he found himself looming over Starfire's form on the couch, with his fists tightly clenched against his sides, and a lump in his throat.

He sighed. "Star, I'm sorry… I'm just…"

"It is alright." She interrupted, looking up at him with a small smile. "I understand how you feel. The thought of your feelings not being returned is frightening, I know. But at least consider this. You knew all along that I liked friend Robin, did you not?"

"Um, yeah? So…?"

"As did everyone else, no?"

He nodded. Beast Boy wasn't sure where she was going with this, but her smile was slowly getting wider, and her eyes had that sparkle about them once more.

"I tried to hide my feelings from everyone, yet it just made them that much more apparent. I can tell you right now, Beast Boy, that these feelings will not just disappear. And they will become evident sooner or later. Is it not better that she find out how you feel directly from you, and not from others' assumptions?"

She had him there. The tension around Starfire and Robin back when they were still in denial was thick enough to scoop up with a spoon. And everybody had known that there was something between them. But there was no spark between Raven and him. Was there?

Doubt once more settled into his heart as he considered the possibilities. He lived with a cybernetic 'Big Brother' with a processor that could outmatch a Russian supercomputer. And a detective prodigy trained by the master of the craft, Batman himself. Surely, they'd pick up on the way he tensed when he was around her, or how he'd sometimes find himself staring at her for just a bit too long over breakfast. And once they did, they'd put two and two together, and then…

He gulped. Starfire was right. They'd figure it out eventually. And Raven… Well, Raven was an empath. He wasn't sure how she hadn't picked up on his feelings earlier. Which was just another thing to further convince him that she wasn't interested.

All in all, he suddenly felt much too exposed. Sure, his spandex suit didn't really leave too much to the imagination, but the feeling of his insides, his most personal details being obvious to everyone on the team was truly frightening.

"Beast Boy?" Starfire's voice derailed his train of thought, and he did his best to come up with a smile.

"Yeah, you're right Star. I'll, uh… I'll think about it…"

He turned to leave, grabbing the book from the corner of the couch cushion where he'd left it, and began making his way back towards Raven's room. Starfire's voice was barely audible over the million thoughts floating around in his head.

"I really hope you do friend… For your own benefit…"

He disappeared back into the cold hallway leading to their respective rooms, the heavy book in his hand dangling lifelessly and bumping into his leg with every step. A constant reminder of the shame and embarrassment that plagued him since the earlier unfortunate events at breakfast.

His mind was on overdrive. His body was on autopilot. He didn't think about walking down the hallway, or heading towards Raven's room. He just did; his brain had more important things to figure out. Like figuring out Starfire's advice.

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Everything had changed. They had grown up, and now he realized that his feelings had grown alongside him. So maybe it was time his tactics mature as well. And bottling up his feelings and trying to maintain the status quo was starting to look like the worst idea of the century. The last thing he needed was to end up like Robin back when he wouldn't accept his feelings for Star. Locked up in a dark room, obsessing over some one-eyed freak. Maybe, just maybe, if he reached out, let her know how he felt…

He fought off the little voice in his head that kept screaming to just give up already; to let go of the fantasy that their twisted little relationship would ever be more than what it already was: An apathetic tolerance on her part, and a childish appreciation from him.

There had to be more. He was sure of it. It had taken who knew how many jokes, and blunders from his part to finally get her to crack a smile. And he still hadn't heard her outright laugh out loud with any vigor. There was still much to accomplish, and there was no way he was going to give up just yet.

He renewed his steps, walking with new-found motivation towards Raven's room. There was still loads more to do. If it had taken a million jokes to get her to smile, then he'd come up with a million more if that was what it took. He'd keep going, hanging on to the tiniest bit of hope in his heart that said that it  _could_ work. Heck, it worked out for Robin and Star. Sure, he didn't have Robin's looks, or his wit, or his fancy little utility belt… But he figured with hard work, perseverance, and his trademark smile, he just might get through to her. Even if he had to get thrown out the window another hundred times. It would be worth it.

Maybe he'd start small, some small talk, ask about her day, how she was feeling. Of course, he could picture it going several ways, and most were utterly embarrassing, or ended with a quick toss into the bay. But one mental picture stood out among the rest, and he smiled as he thought of what it would be like to actually talk to a Raven who  _cared_  about the conversation. A Raven who might smile, and laugh, and share her feelings with him. And even though the image only flickered for a second behind his closed eyes, he felt his heart flutter with hope.

Raven's door came all too soon, and his brain seemed to stop working, as it sometimes tended to do. The door was just as ominous and threatening as always, but now for entirely different reasons. Mainly, because he knew the person behind it could never be as ominous or threatening, no matter how hard she tried. She was intimidating still, but for new reasons. For better reasons; reasons that were worthwhile.

With a silly, love-struck grin, he pressed on the button to open the door, and stepped inside with new-found purpose. He had a book to return.

 

* * *

 

With a quick flick from the remote sitting next to her, the common room was once again filled with the sounds of a "typical American family" as they fought over whose turn it was to drive the Porsche. Starfire, for once, found herself ignoring most of what was going on in the screen before her. Her eyes were fixed on something beyond anything in plain sight, and her mind has filled with ideas, each more enticing than the last.

She held back a giggle as she shifted her position once again, ending up with her head hanging off the couch, upside down, sitting on the backrest with her legs hanging over the top. Her hair draped down towards the floor, and she laid her arms lazily over her exposed stomach. A tingling of anticipation ran through her body as she continued to think of ways to help Beast Boy.

Of course, she realized, he wouldn't consider it much help. But she knew he wasn't prepared to handle someone like Raven on his own, quite yet. She would undoubtedly still be in denial, conflicted about her feelings, and he wouldn't make much headway while she was so utterly confused. But she could think of more than a few ways to help clear up  _that_  particular situation, each more enticing than the last.

She smirked maliciously. She'd had no trouble putting two and two together and figuring out who the concerned changeling was referring too. Aside from the fact that he really spent very little time outside the tower, and that talks with Cyborg had revealed that Beast Boy had very few relationships with girls that lasted more than a few hours (And in some instances, minutes), Starfire had suspected that he had feelings for Raven ever since they'd first formed as a group.

Thinking back, she realized that her own preoccupation and slight obsession with Robin had pushed that matter to the back of her mind. The casual glances, the constant attempts at making her laugh, the way he constantly seemed to watch her back in battles (and vice-versa). It was painfully obvious, and she tasted the irony as she was reminded of how her friends had all taken their time to say the same about her own feelings towards Robin, and his own for her.

She smiled as she remembered Raven's own opinion on the matter, during one of their rare, but very-much-cherished, "girl talks"

" _The only people who didn't see this coming were you two. You were so caught up in your own feelings, you didn't see the way Robin always acted around you. I think the phrase 'Love is blind' is especially applicable in your situation. Still, I'm glad that's over with. It was starting to become just plain annoying watching you two dance around the matter."_

"Oh, how turned are the tables." Starfire whispered to no one in particular. The empath she so brazenly called her best friend, the same one who'd constantly insisted that she had no feelings to share, was now caught in a very similar situation. And even though Starfire herself had no actual sense of empathy, she had a very strong intuition, and it was rarely wrong.

She'd noticed the subtle changes in Raven over time, especially when she was around Beast Boy. She seemed to relax and fall easily into his taunting jibes, and for a good while, she was pretty sure Raven had even smiled as they mock-fought. Eventually, Raven seemed to retract, and had fallen back into old habits of shutting everyone and everything out.

That had sealed her suspicions. Starfire recognized her behavior. She was nervous. Specifically, when she was around Beast Boy. Of course, she'd never admit it, and Starfire had the suspicion that Raven herself might not have figured it out just yet. But she was going to make sure things would become crystal clear soon enough.

She drummed on her belly with her fingers, as several low, dirty, tricky situations came to her mind, fueled by years of witnessing pranking at its finest, courtesy of Cyborg, and admittedly, sometimes Beast Boy himself. He had his moments now and then.

She'd never had the change to do the making of matches, as she'd often seen on some of her favorite sitcoms. But now, a perfect opportunity presented itself in the form of a confused Beast Boy, and a Raven in denial. It was as if they were begging for her to interfere! And there was so much to do, so many ways to get the two of them together.

And the first step in her plan was as plain as the Cheshire smile on her face. The girl-talks she and Raven had shared had been few and in-between, and they seldom talked about Raven at all. But there was a first time for everything, and this particular first would be exceptionally juicy. By the time she had fleshed out her plan, her excitement and joy had become so great, she noticed for the first time as her toes bumped into the ceiling, just how excited she was. Starfire found herself floating a good ten feet off the couch, but she paid it no mind. There was only one thing she could think of at that moment.

"This will indeed be a most interesting girl-talk."

 

* * *

 

Raven sighed. She knew just what was coming, but she'd done her best the past few years to try and avoid any confrontations with her wayward emotion. She wasn't as harmful as Rage, or as embarrassing as Rude, but nonetheless, she was one of her least favorite. This particular emotion of hers had the tendency to be reckless, bull-headed, bipolar, and nauseatingly nice. She also happened to be the cause of most of the problems she'd had over the past few years. And of course she was behind this one as well.

The bleak atmosphere became hazy, the scenery around her rippling as if it were simply shifting as she walked, transforming the starry night sky and austere rocks around her into an entirely new scene. As always, she did her best to hold back a gasp, and keep her jaw shut as she took in the breathtaking sight. And as always, she failed miserably.

A warm, tingling sensation spread from her core, to the very tips of her fingers, as she watched the two suns setting behind a glimmering array of towering spires and domes. She walked out unto a balcony, welcoming the telltale, dry summer breeze of her home, and breathed in the smoky smells of a thousand varieties of incenses and oils. As much as she feared Love, she had to admit, her little corner of her mind was probably the most pleasing of all. There was nothing quite as blissful as home.

"Hello again, Raven. It's been too long."

Her heart dropped as she turned around, getting a clear look at the source of the sultry voice. She provided her best glare, free of charge, and partially wished looks could kill. Love merely smiled, and walked out from behind the silken curtains that draped around the entrance to the tower behind her.

"Not long enough." Raven said, her monotone cracking with a hint of grief striking at her throat. She turned away briskly, partly to watch the sunset, and partly to keep the bush tinting her cheeks to herself. Really, why Love insisted on wearing that ridiculous get-up was beyond her. The smooth cobalt dress hugged her svelte body much too close for her own comfort, and only managed to cover her front and back. Her sides were exposed to the elements, along with everything else. She was at least thankful for the large ruby-encrusted gold belt that kept the fabric close to her waist, and stopped the draping garb from fluttering with the wind. The last thing she needed was a free peep show.

"I've been trying to speak with you for some time now, but you keep shutting me out. Haven't you learned the dangers of suppressing your emotions?" Love said as she stepped out to join her against the marble banister. Raven almost gagged at the seductive tone in her voice. She always talked like that, even when discussing the most mundane things. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, hearing her voice altered so. Full of sticky, warm sentiment.

"It's easier this way. Last time, things didn't turn out too well..." She turned her back toward her emotion, and crossed her arms. She wanted it clear that the past mistakes were still fresh in her memory, and not keen on leaving just yet.

"I know. That's part of why I called to you. I just need you to listen to me, at least one more time, before you make any more rash decisions."

Raven didn't make any attempt at a response, verbal or otherwise. Love took the hint, and began her speech, staring out towards the horizon.

"I know we've made mistakes, and I know how much we've suffered in the past for them. I am the weakest part of you, the most vulnerable. But we have the potential to be so much more. You just have to give me a chance to surface."

When all Love received was an indifferent silence, she continued, her voice much softer.

"I haven't always led you to make the right choices. I know that. But there's never any way to know what the right choice is. That's what Love is. Taking chances. Throwing yourself off the edge of the world, and just praying that someone will catch you…"

"I really hope you're going somewhere with this, and fast. It's bad enough having to listen to you get all sentimental."

Raven glanced at Love out of the corner of her eye, and saw something she never thought possible. Her breath caught in her throat, but she held back any sign of shock or worry. Love on the other hand, apparently wasn't having the same luck holding back her tears.

"I brought you here to apologize, Raven. To each other. For the mistakes we've both made. And for the mistakes you'll make soon enough."

"What are you talking about?"

The wondrous scenery suddenly lost its appeal, and Raven focused only on Love's unnecessarily cryptic discourse. Love simply smiled, a stunning contrast to the small, glittering tears making their way down her smooth cheeks.

"Raven, you've kept me quiet for too long, and I can't bear it any longer. I cannot watch you shun the one person that's constantly shown you unconditional kindness, without making myself heard at the very least. That's why I brought you here. That's why I gave you that dream."

"You?! You're the one that came up with that… with that… Ugh!"

She felt rage bubbling up, almost threatening to overcome her. Leave it to Love to put her silly quest for attention in action in such a personal, embarrassing way. She felt herself rising in the air, and thick, rolling clouds thundered overhead where seconds before the first stars had begun to flash.

"Raven, I had to."

"Why? Why did you  _have to?_  It was embarrassing enough reading about it, but picturing myself doing it? With  _him_  of all people?" Love simply gazed at her from below, giving her a small, sad smile.

"He is the only one you could have dreamed of doing that with."

Raven closed her eyes and struggled with her boiling emotions to find her center once more. As she did so, the raging storm above her slowly dispersed, and she floated back down towards the balcony, cloak fluttering serenely around her as the billowing winds died down.

Love waited patiently, her eyes never leaving Raven's, until they both stood stock still, facing each other as mirror images, their clothing and facial expressions the only thing setting them apart at the moment.

"You've been watching all this time, Raven, but you still have trouble seeing what is right in front of you."

"There's nothing to  _see_. What's all this about seeing anything?" Raven huffed, reminded of Knowledge's own strange comment.

"You want to see it, but you're afraid. And that's alright. I know it hurts, and it could blow up in your face. But refusing to see it is not the same as not being able to see it."

"This is really getting irritating. What are you talking about? What am I supposed to see?"

Love simply smiled again, and wiping a tear from her cheek, she disappeared, her figure seemingly fading into the surrounding air. Raven caught her breath, fighting back the shock of her sudden disappearance. That was when she felt a soft tap on the back of her shoulder. She nearly jumped out of her skin, and turned around violently, instinctively assuming a defensive position.

However, as soon as she had seen who her presumed attacked was, her arms fell limp at her sides, practically joining her jaw on the floor.

"B-Beast Boy?" Raven asked incredulously. She blinked. Twice, just to make sure this wasn't an apparition. Then she blinked again.

Yet everything told her that it was indeed Beast Boy, casually standing on a high balcony overlooking Azarath, deep within the confines of her own mind, staring at her with his goofy, lopsided grin, and a sparkle in his eyes. Not that she really noticed the sparkle. She was still trying to process how he'd managed to sneak up on her.

"Hey, Rae." Beast Boy said, looking up at her with the same silly smile, and the same high-pitched, raspy voice she'd always avoided.

Raven took two steps forward, clenching her fists to try and keep them away from his face, despite the temptation. She could feel her entire body trembling in pure, unbridled rage. Except this time, she didn't have to float into the air to tower over her victim. Her eyes burned into his as she spoke through gritted teeth.

"Beast Boy, what the  _hell_  do you think you're doing here?! I thought we'd been over this before! How dare you invade the privacy of my room, and most importantly, disregard every warning about touching. My. Mirror!"

Beast Boy didn't react. He didn't flinch, or cringe, or cry, or run away screaming at the top of his lungs. Any of these reactions would have been expected. The one thing she had never expected, was for Beast Boy to stand his ground, still grinning up at her like an idiot. The only thing she'd managed to do with her belligerent screams was tousle his messy green hair, a few flecks falling over one of his eyes.

"He didn't invade your privacy Raven."

At the sound of her voice, all concerns regarding Beast Boy vanished, and Raven once again turned to face Love's little sad smile.

"What?"

"That's not Beast Boy." Love stated matter-of-factly. Raven suddenly found herself at a loss of words. She turned her head, and looked back and forth between the Beast Boy who wasn't Beast Boy, standing behind her, to the ever-confusion emotion, still smiling and wearing that blush-inducing outfit. After a few seconds of her head spinning, she gave up.

"Alright, I am now  _officially_  lost. What's going on? How is he not Beast Boy?"

"This is all just a way of making you see. All of your emotions, even the most logical and apathetic, are tired of you denying the obvious." Love pointed a delicate finger towards Beast Boy. "He is simply a projection of Beast Boy's presence within your mind. Look at him, and tell me what you see."

Skeptical was one word to describe what she felt about her current situation. Worried was a close second. Hesitating ever so slightly, she turned once more to face the imaginary Beast Boy, who was now leaning against the banister, propping himself up on his elbow.

She looked at him, carefully, trying to see whatever it was that Love was talking about. She didn't get what was so complicated about Beast Boy. He looked like the scrawny, green-skinned, vertically-challenged, pointy-eared, fanged vegetarian she'd known for some six years. He had the same messy green hair, the same, pointy little fang protruding from his lower jaw, the same, big jade eyes. She simply couldn't find anything strange about him. She turned to answer Love, her cloak swishing around and passing right through Beast Boy, who promptly vanished much in the same way Love had.

"I see Beast Boy. Just like I've always seen Beast Boy. I don't get it, what else was I supposed to see?"

Love's smile slowly grew a little bit wider, until Raven could barely make out a sliver of white, shining teeth. For some reason, this only made her even more nervous, and just a bit queasy.

"You just answered your own question. You see Beast Boy just as you've  _always_  seen Beast Boy. Short, gangly, immature, and messy. But he's changed, just like you have. You've just been too afraid to see him for what he is now."

"Afraid? Why would I be afraid of Beast Boy?"

Before Love could reply, Raven saw a swish of movement just behind her emotion, as the air seemingly concentrated and created a solid shape. A solid,  _green_ , shape. Love was unfazed by the sudden apparition, and spoke directly to Raven once more.

"Because he is everything you never thought he'd be."

With that simple phrase, the thing behind Love finally assumed a well-defined form, and stepped from behind her. A tall, green-skinned man suddenly stood next to Love, smiling a smile that was much too familiar, looking at her with eyes that were far too observant, and donning a spandex suit that was way too tight.

"Hey, Rae." His voice was deep; her name rolled off his tongue like honey, and the way it echoed in his throat made it sound sultry and forbidden.

Raven felt her heart beat fast and hard against her ribcage, battling her lungs over who could be the most frenzied. She felt blood rush to her cheeks as she looked at the Beast Boy that stood before her. No longer did she tower over him, and she looked up to see a now well-defined jaw-line, a larger, but duller fang still sticking out from his lower lips, and the same emerald eyes that now held a sparkle in them that she wasn't sure she recognized. It seemed less playful and innocent. His eyes looked wise, piercing, and almost dangerous.

Her blush only intensified when she looked down from his face, across a body sculpted by years of physical training under Robin's strict regimen. His vegetarian diet had left him with a svelte figure, well-toned but not too bulky. She was reminded of a panther, or a leopard, his form very much like one of those sleek predators, seemingly always ready to pounce. She glanced over his abdomen, rippling with his every breath, and she had to swallow back a gasp as her eyes trailed below his waist.

"Raven?" Love said, interrupting her increasingly-dirty thoughts. For once though, she was thankful. The last thing she needed were more fantasies in her head. She'd gotten enough of those from Rude.

Shaking her head free of the distraction, she looked back towards her emotional counterpart, and spoke once more in a dead monotone.

"That's not Beast Boy."

Love just blinked, her smile never fading.

"Why would you say that?"

"I think I would have noticed if Beast Boy suddenly grew seven inches and started looming over me. That's one detail. And if he really looked like that, I doubt we'd ever hear the end of his endless supply of  _fangirls_." She couldn't help but sound a bit indignant as she said the word 'fangirls', and the same blush from before started to ease back unto her cheeks.

Love chuckled, a rather unsettling noise, and Raven literally felt her eyes grow wide as she heard Love's own chuckle echoed in Beast Boy's own throat. Albeit, it was much deeper, throaty, and was providing a particularly tingling feeling that seemed to snake its way up her legs.

"You're right. This is not Beast Boy, but he is what you want Beast Boy to be. When you return, look at him, but for the first time, try to see him as he is. You'll soon see which Beast Boy he more closely resembles." Love said, looking perfectly amused. "That is what we want you to realize, Raven. You have no reason to not have feelings for Beast Boy. He is kind and caring; he cares for your happiness. And he doesn't look half-bad with his shirt off."

At this, the imaginary Beast Boy's spandex uniform disappeared, leaving him in only his boxers, something for which Raven wasn't sure if she should have been grateful for or not.

Still, the sight of a half-naked Beast Boy did nothing to ease her nerves, or her queasiness, and Raven found herself looking away. She covered her eyes with a trembling hand, at the same time checking her own temperature, half-hoping that this was all just a feverish dream.

"How did that image even get into my head?" She groaned. Love gave another hearty chuckle.

"That was courtesy of Lust. She's been busy as of late. She was particularly helpful with that dream, you know?"

Raven shuddered. She had almost forgotten about the dream. Of course, her mind had been mainly preoccupied with the Beast Boy in her head, but still, it was better than that dream. Much better, she realized.

"Enough games." Raven snapped, her patience quickly fading. "Just tell me what I'm supposed to do… please…" Raven sighed in defeat, slumping dejectedly against the banister, trying to count the endless blinking lights of the city below. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do… I don't know what I'm supposed to feel… I'm just… scared. I don't want to be hurt again…"

She felt the presence of her emotion glide up beside her, and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. She usually hated physical contact, but for some reason, this simple touch spread a familiar warmth through her body, and she felt her body relax bit by bit.

"I can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you what to feel. Nor can I tell you that you won't be hurt again. What I can tell you is that I, we, know that there are risks worth taking. You know there's something, otherwise we wouldn't be where we are now. Whether you act upon your emotions is up to you. But be warned, until you finally settle your feelings towards Beast Boy, we cannot be at peace." Love said, her voice warm and nurturing, like that of a mother she couldn't remember. "Things will get worse before they get better, but that's to be expected. That's part of what love is."

With a sigh, Raven pried herself away from the banister, and away from Love's clingy arm. She'd entered her mind hoping to find a simple answer as to why her dream had featured Beast Boy, and now, she found herself thinking about their entire relationship. Was there even a relationship to think about? They were friends, sure, but was there more to that? Could there be more to that? She wasn't sure if she could ever feel that way towards Beast Boy. Physical attraction aside. And even if she did, why should he feel the same? He had no reason to. She had nothing to offer aside from a heart made of ice and a tongue dripping with venom.

She felt a shiver as Love rested a warm hand against her arm, and she looked at the deep, purple eyes of her emotion, framed by thick, fluttering lashes.

"Stop. Now is not the time or place to think of such things. Return to your room, and try to relax."

"Right… thanks…" Raven said, hesitantly, and she began making her way towards the door to the tower, which she knew would lead her back to the tower and her own room.

"Your lack of faith in yourself is troubling Raven. You should love yourself, before you try loving others."

Raven smirked. "Yeah, and you really should consider a cloak. That thing leaves too little to the imagination."

"I wish you'd wear it more often. At least to remember me, and nothing else." Love replied softly. Raven heard her voice, nonetheless, and as she looked back, she was almost sure she saw Arella standing where Love had been just seconds before. The same dress accentuating her figure, but casting a strange glow about her, radiating beauty. Her breath hitched in her chest as she looked at the smiling face of her mother. The blackness whirled around her, dragging her back to her room in the physical plane, and gave Raven little more than a split second to utter a ragged,

"I'm sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

 

**CHAPTER V**

 

* * *

 

 

The brooding, dimly-lit room slowly began to come into focus as the last pieces of her soul passed back from her mirror, into the mortal plane. She wasn't sure how long she'd spent inside Nevermore, but she doubted it had been more than half an hour at most. Time seemed to pass by slower whenever she had to have a face-to-face talk with her emotions.

Still, she slightly regretted having done so. She wasn't quite sure why she'd even bothered with the trip in the first place. She'd wanted answers, sure, but now she'd come out of everything with many more questions, and still no real answer to her problems. She still had no idea what she really felt for Beast Boy, or how to act on it. Or even if she should act on whatever it was that she felt for Beast Boy.

Her head was spinning, and she knew that the teleportation was only partially to blame. As her eyes began to once again focus on her surroundings, adapting to the scarce lighting, she tumbled forward, and gripped the bedpost nearest to her to secure her footing. She tried to shake the feeling off; it was unusual, and she'd never felt quite as queasy after a routine transportation spell.

As her mind slowly calmed down, and she began to get a feel for her own powers once more, she noticed something was off. On the very edge of her mind, something was tugging at her, trying to get its attention. Her powers still hadn't fully returned, but she recognized the feeling from memory. It was a presence. A familiar presence. And it was close. Too close. In fact…

Raven turned towards where she knew the door to her room would be, and was met with a devastating sight. Standing there, just a small half-step away from the threshold of her room, her chamber, her sanctuary, was a very frightened, very pale Beast Boy.

Immediately, a dozen choice curses and insults flooded her mind, along with quite a few simple spells to effectively throw him out the window of her room, or send him to a fiery dimension. However, her body wouldn't react. Her hands wouldn't move to cast a spell, and her lips wouldn't part to scream obscenities at the green changeling. Instead, she found her eyes reacting as if on their own accord, and they were scanning Beast Boy in a way she was sure they'd never done before.

She was frozen in place, simply staring at Beast Boy, trembling beneath the doorway. She began to notice details, and soon they replaced everything else in her mind. His hair, tousled and spiked up, giving his face a more elongated, adult look. His fang, longer and thicker than she remembered, and duller as well, as though it had seen plenty of use. She realized he had, indeed, grown quite a few inches, though it was hard to tell based on his defensive position, his head almost tucked in between his shoulders. She might have chuckled at that, but it was at that moment when her eyes darted downwards, towards his torso, and she felt a blush heat her cheeks yet again. She'd never noticed his body, as she'd constantly found an excuse to simply not look at him, but now that she was, she found that the tall, looming Beast Boy in her mind, bore a striking resemblance to the cowering Beast Boy standing before her. A few details were off, here and there. Like the sparkle in his eyes, now nonexistent, and his lack of a smile. And fortunately, his spandex suit wasn't as tight as it had been in her head. If it had been, she thought…

"R-Raven?" Beast Boy interrupted her thoughts with a small, stuttering voice.

She looked back up at his face, now adorned with a slight blush, and her own blush only deepened as she realized for the first time just what was going on. Beast Boy was in her room. And he'd caught her gawking at him. All of him. She cleared her throat, and brought her hood over her head, trying to cover as much of her face as possible, desperately trying to hide her unexplainable anxiousness.

"What are you doing here, Beast Boy?" She said, trying to sound harsh, but failing miserably, her voice seemingly catching in her throat, giving a rather weak impression. She looked around at absolutely everything but him. She didn't want to risk any more unexpected reactions.

"I, uh… Well, I was just…" Beast Boy seemed to be even more nervous than she was, and she found herself calming down just a bit more. If he was going for defense, than that left her open to freely attack, covering up any possible misinterpretation of her actions.

"I know it might seem like a foreign concept to you, but one usually knocks before… Wait, is that…?" Raven had taken a chance and glanced back towards him, and for the first time in their encounter, she noticed something in his hands, clutched tightly against his chest. As soon as she looked at it, it had seemed strangely familiar. Now, she could easily see the bold letters etched into the leather binding of the book he held, and her heart almost stopped.

Beast Boy's ears drooped, and with a frightened jerk, he placed his arms and the book safely behind him, and out of sight. But it was too late. She'd read the title. She'd recognized the binding. And she could read his terrified smile just as well as any words in that book. Her eyes went wide, and her heart fluttered in her chest. If he had, by some strange twist of fate, read the wrong chapter…

"Beast Boy," Raven said through gritted teeth, feeling unexplainable fury coursing through her body. "Is that  _my_  book you're hiding behind your back?"

"Um, well, yeah, but…"

"How. Dare. You." Raven narrowed her eyes at him, feeling herself losing control to the darkest parts of her. But she allowed it. He'd invaded her two most private things. Her room, and her book. No one was allowed to get away with doing either one of those things, let alone both. Least of all him.

"Raven, hold on, it was an accident!" Beast Boy say, backing away towards the relative safety of the hallway. She knew he'd have a better chance of escape, so a quick flick with a finger shut the door behind him, locking him inside her room. She wasn't going to let him get away so easily. Beast Boy glanced back at the steel surface separating him from the safety of an audience, and gulped, turning back to face Raven's wrath.

"An accident? What, you tripped, and the book fell open on your face?"

Beast Boy remained silent, trembling in fear, doing his best to avoid her gaze.

"How dare you invade my privacy! You don't see me going around, snooping through your things! And what on earth gave you the incredible idea that it was okay for you to take a book from my personal library?!"

"H-Hold on, Raven. Let me explain…"

Raven stood towering over him, drawing in breaths through ragged pants, not even bothering to calm down. Part of her was grateful that she'd lost her father's influence. Otherwise, she was sure she'd have ripped him to shreds by now. Beast Boy, apparently realizing that she was giving him a chance to explain, took the initiative, slightly stretching out from his curled position.

"I was just coming up here to apologize, Rae." He said in a small voice unbecoming of a man of his stature.

"Apologize? For what?" Raven hissed. She was genuinely curious. It made no sense, since he hadn't done anything to provoke her lately, but she wasn't going to let him know that. She maintained her rabid glare and threatening snarl firmly carved into her features.

Beast Boy seemed to struggle with the words, but he made an honest effort. "For, you know, whatever that was this morning. You seemed upset, and I thought, well, the others thought, that it was my fault somehow, so I was just coming here to apologize for whatever I did." Beast Boy blundered over the words, clearly not having given his explanation much thought.

Raven relaxed just a little, her attention briefly caught on the sincerity of his statement. Beast Boy never had been a particularly good liar, but her emphatic senses helped to confirm his own honesty.

"So I knocked on your door, and I heard a noise." Beast Boy continued. "You wouldn't answer, so I came in and saw the mirror on the floor. I put two and two together, and figured you must have been in that Neverplace, dimension thingy."

Raven couldn't help but roll her eyes. Leave it to Beast Boy to make any conversation sound childish. Still, something didn't add up.

"Fine, but how did you get the book?" She asked. What she was dying to know was if he'd managed to read it, and if so, what he'd read. If he'd read from the beginning, she was sure he would have given up quickly. Steampunk literature had a tendency to be rather descriptive, and she doubted Beast Boy could stay focused on the book for too long. It was her last, glimmering bit of hope that things hadn't become excruciatingly embarrassing.

At the mention of the book, however, Beast Boy's sheepish expression only helped her feel more uneasy. He pulled the book out from behind him and held it delicately in his hands, staring at it as if expecting it to answer for him. Finally, he spoke, never taking his eyes off the cover.

"I… I found it on the floor, and I saw it was the same book you'd been reading this morning. You know, before you nodded off…"

She gulped. She did not like where this was going. She took an unnoticeable step back, gripping the insides of her cloak tight around her, silently wishing it was a real cloak of invisibility.

"I just wanted to see if maybe it had something to do with why you were so jumpy earlier, so I figured I'd, you know, take a… glimpse?" His voice steadily became quieter until he looked up at her in utter silence, cringing as if expecting a fist to collide with his face in any moment.

Raven was too distracted by a million discomforting thoughts. Utterly embarrassing, dreadful thoughts. She knew the answer to her question, but she asked it anyways.

"What page did you read?"

Beast Boy looked almost as uncomfortable as she was, and projected it much better than she did. He seemed to think hard for a few seconds before giving his ultimately convicting answer.

"Well, there was a bookmark, so I figured…"

Yep. She had been right. She was officially dead. It figured that the one time Beast Boy would read one of her books, it would be the one with the sex scene smack dab in the middle. Not only that, but he'd then confess to having read the scene himself. She felt utterly exposed, dirty, and in urgent need of a lonely, cold shower. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, but she was much too ashamed to see anyone at that moment. Especially him.

"Get out." She said in a drab mutter. Beast Boy just stared at her quizzically for a few seconds.

"Rae…?"

"Get. Out." She said, a bit stronger now.

She waited patiently as he straightened himself up, set the book down on the shelf next to the doorway, and stepped out of her room. She didn't bother looking at him. The toes of her boots had suddenly become the most important thing in the world. So much so, that she didn't notice him look back, or the grief etched on his face. Once the door sealed her safely inside, and away from all prying eyes and ears, she turned and sat down on the edge of her bed, placing her face firmly against her palms.

She felt no sadness, no anger, and no pain. She felt nothing but utter humiliation. Humiliation the likes of which she'd seldom known before. And strangely, it all went back to him. He'd read an incredibly descriptive scene of a rather intimate moment between two fictional characters in a book. Nothing strange there. But they now both knew that they'd read the very same scene. And for some reason, it felt, wrong. As if she'd done something she should have been ashamed of. Something  _vulgar._

She knew there was nothing wrong with an occasional erotic scene every now and then. It wasn't as though she'd been looking for it, much less expecting it to pop up in the middle of an otherwise intriguing book. When she'd read it, sure, it had been uncomfortable having people around. But now Beast Boy had read the same thing. Knowing him, he would probably jump to the wrong conclusion. Worse still, she still had to live in the tower, and sooner or later, they'd cross paths. She groaned, imagining a million different ways that  _that_ encounter could go wrong.

And what about the whole, recognizing her feelings thing? How could she possibly face him, talk to him, about something as intimate as their relationship (which she still doubted really even existed), with this whole shenanigan hanging over their heads?

How could she possibly face  _him_  again? Ever?

Was she overreacting? Probably.

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted by a brash knock on her door, and for a second, fear gripped her chest, thinking that perhaps she would have to face him sooner than she thought.

"Who is it?" She asked, silently hating herself for the noticeable cracking in her voice.

"Raven? It is I. I was hoping to ask you a question, friend… if you are not the busy, that is." Starfire's bright voice lifted her spirits, even if it was just for a few seconds. She blamed empathy.

Raven stood and walked to her door. She hoped that Starfire might provide a worthy distraction from the many worries floating in her mind. She opened the door to reveal her friend, floating in mid-air with a Cheshire smile shining on her face.

"What is it, Star?" Raven drawled, doing her best to maintain her stoic façade. Hopefully, she would only have to explain another earthly concept that she'd seen on one of her reality shows. She remembered their last, two-hour talk regarding the concept of twerking. She shuddered, and hoped it was something easier, and more innocent, like Q-tips, or badminton.

Starfire merely widened her smile, a feat in itself, and floated past her into her room. Raven sighed and shut the door behind her as she joined her boisterous alien friend now sitting on top of her bed. Something told her this particular question would take a while. Once they were settled in their traditional positions, cross-legged and facing each other across the comforter, Starfire responded, her voice suddenly low and secretive.

"What does it mean for a book to have steam?"

Raven gulped, her eyes widening as she clutched the sheets below her with her nails.

"Where… where did you hear that?"

Starfire tilted her head. "Friend Beast Boy asked me about your book earlier today, and I remembered you saying it had too much steam for my taste. He suggested I ask you about this strange phenomenon."

"Wait, you talked to Beast Boy? When?"

Starfire smirked. And for some reason, that seemed more threatening than even the Tamaranean Princess's battle cry. Suddenly, Raven felt as though she'd fallen into some sort of trap. She had no idea how right she actually was.

"Beast Boy came to me earlier today to ask me about… something personal, and the question of the book came to the surface."

_Something personal...? What could Beast Boy possibly talk to Star about that is personal?_

"What did Beast Boy have to ask  _you_ about?" Raven asked, a bit too quickly, and by the time she realized she'd voiced her concerns, it was too late. She instinctively brought up a hand to cover her mouth, as if to stop any further accidental phrases. She knew how it must have sounded. Defensive, resentful,and maybe even a touch...  _jealous?_  But if Starfire picked up on any of these tones, she didn't make it obvious. She simply maintained the smirk on her face, her eyes sparkling dangerously as they watched her, almost measuring her.

_Oh Azar, what have I gotten myself into?_

 

* * *

 

He knocked on the heavy, titanium-reinforced door, and waited. In a matter of seconds, a muffled clanking noise came from within, and heavy, thudding footsteps came ever closer towards him. The door opened with a mechanical whirring and revealed quite possibly one of the most intimidating sights to ever be seen at Titan's Tower.

Cyborg stood almost seven feet tall, towering over his feeble frame, and glaring in a way even Raven would have shuddered at. Interrupting Cyborg while he was working on his projects was never recommended. Beast Boy, however, was used to the glaring colossus standing before him, and offered a simple, defeated sigh. Instantly, the glare was replaced by a concerned stare as Cyborg stepped aside to allow Beast Boy to walk into the extensive garage.

"What's wrong, green bean?" Cyborg asked watching as Beast Boy silently trudged past his friend, eyes resigned to stare at the cement floor below him. All that was missing was a miniature black cloud hovering above his head, and he'd be a walking cliché.

"I messed up, Cy. Again. As usual." Beast Boy sighed, deflated, as he sat against one of the workbenches covered in tools he'd never even know how to name.

Cyborg shut the door behind him and walked over to his friend, giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder, and promptly grabbing a few wrenches from the workbench.

"Raven?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Too bad. Spill."

Cyborg placed himself back on his custom-built mechanic's creeper, and shoved his cybernetic body back underneath the carcass of yet another soon-to-be Titan vehicle. Beast Boy shook his head, but couldn't help but smile. He knew he shouldn't have avoided Cyborg's big-brother talk. In the end, no matter how awkward the issue was, or how badly he'd messed up, Cy would always help him figure out a way to feel better. And he usually provided some very sound advice on how to fix the problem. Usually.

It also helped that it wasn't the conventional, face-to-face conversation. Oh no, this was a man conversation. With extra manliness. That meant that, even though they talked about all that, "sentimental crap" as they called it, it all took place in a testosterone-filled environment filled with sharp metal object and power tools, while Cyborg worked on his car or some other pet project, and Beast Boy pretended to help him by handing him usually-random tools. At random. Practically no visual contact, and plenty of cool gadgets around to remind them that they were still as manly as could be.

Beast Boy figured he might as well fess up to his friend, figuring there'd been enough comfortable silence between the two to work up his courage. Not that he needed to, he told himself. Cause he was a man.

"I went to apologize to Raven today, like Robin told me to." He said, as if her were mentioning the results of last night's basketball game. Casual. Like a man. Cyborg offered a grunt as he struggled in the underbelly of the chassis.

"And? How'd she take it?"

"She, um wasn't there." Beast Boy picked up a screwdriver and started fiddling with it, trying to preoccupy his hands. Sitting still had never been his forte.

"Where was she then?"

"Nevermore."

"Oh."

They took a few more moments of silence as Cyborg tightened a bolt, reminiscing about their travels into Raven's chaotic landscape. Beast Boy was reminded of the several dreams he'd had about going back there. And only nine out of ten ended with an R-rated situation. He shook his head free of those ideas, and the oh-so-many Ravens, and got back to the topic at hand, extending a claw and scratching at the surface of the workbench.

"Anyways, I figured I'd go back later to talk to her, but then I saw this book just lying there on the floor in her room. It was the same one she was reading this morning. I thought maybe if I read it, I could figure out what had made her all jumpy and stuff."

Beast Boy heard the squeaking of the worn-down creeper emerge from beneath the ton of scrap metal, and looked down at Cyborg, who was now donning a surprisingly well-executed, albeit upside-down, questioning look on his face.

"Hold on, let me get this straight. You went into Raven's room, while she was in her mirror world, stole her book,  _read_  her book, and tried to deduce her behavior from the book you stole?"

"Eeyup."

Cyborg shook his head, smirking, and rolled back under the car.

"I think I'm starting to see your problem…" Came his muffled reply. Beast Boy just drooped his ears. An admittedly involuntary motion, but he'd gotten used to it.

Beast Boy switched the screwdriver for a monkey wrench, and continued to think about his dilemma. At least he'd have plenty of tools to fidget with by the time his little tale was done.

"Yeah. In any case, I went back to her room to return the book…"

"Did you see anything in the book that would explain her edginess this morning?"

He almost dropped the wrench in his hands as the scene from the book once more entered her mind. He decided to play it safe.

"No." He fibbed.

"Thought as much." He could picture the smirk drawn on Cyborg's face that instant. "So much for your detective skills, Sherlock."

He offered the respective huff of annoyance that he knew Cyborg would expect, and continued. He figured a slightly-bruised ego was better than going through what he'd read. Besides, for now, he was hoping not to accidentally reveal Raven's skewed literary tastes. He figured he couldn't really blame her; everyone had their own personal tastes when it came to that kind of stuff. Yet he knew that a few years back, that particular knowledge would have provided the perfect blackmail material. He smiled to himself as he thought of ways he would've used this whole situation against Raven back when they were younger.

The clinking and rolling of a lug nut, accompanied by a few choice curse words from Cyborg, brought him back into the present. He hopped off the work bench and caught the errant nut, handing it back to Cy's disembodied hand sticking out from under what he could only guess was the future engine block of the car.

"Thanks. Slippery little bastard. Anyways, you were saying?"

"Right. I went back to her room to return the book, and when I walked in, she was just getting back from the mirror."

"And she caught you red-handed."

"Pretty much."

"She gave you the whole 'invading-my-privacy' speech, and probably freaked when she found out you'd stolen her book. How warm am I getting?"

"I'd say solar."

"Yeah, I figured something like this would happen." Cyborg said with a grunt, pulling himself out from beneath the car once more, this time adorned with several oil stains on his chest and face. He sat up, and looked at Beast Boy as he wiped a brownish, rough-looking rag over the offending splotches. Beast Boy felt like a five-year-old under Cyborg's patented Big Brother glare. He knew it was an inevitable part of the conversation, but that didn't mean he liked it any better. "You messed up what should've been a simple apology. Now you're in it pretty deep. You want my advice?"

"I wouldn't have knocked otherwise." Beast Boy offered with a sheepish grin.

"Lay low." Cy stood up, wiping his hands, and quickly discarding the rag. "Give her some time away from you. She  _should_  calm down in a day or two if she doesn't have to deal with any more of… well, you."

Beast Boy was about to protest, before Cyborg cut him off with a halting palm.

"I know it's not easy, and you don't really want to. I'm not giving you a choice here, B. Hit the gym, stay away from her room, go for a walk in the park, I don't care. Just don't cross her path for a couple of days. I'll talk to her once she cools down for a bit, and find out just how much trouble you're in."

"Fine." Beast Boy sighed. He knew it was pointless to argue with Cyborg about pretty much anything, but it was impossible to do so when he was right. Still, he couldn't stop a tremor that ran up his spine, spreading a chill across his ribcage.

"It's just weird, you know?" Beast Boy said, sitting back down against the workbench, shoulders sagging in flagrant defeat. "It's like she's a whole different person now. There's so much I thought I knew about her, and now I'm starting to doubt if I ever really knew her at all."

"Well, you aren't always the most perceptive, B." Cyborg said, his voice softening considerably. A nearby chair squealed in protest as he placed his weight down carelessly. How those tiny, metal chairs could hold Cyborg's 700-pound body, he'd never know.

Beast Boy sighed. "It was so much easier when we were younger…"

"Back when you were an annoying, prepubescent grass stain, with a crush on Raven, our resident Goth Ice-Queen?" Beast Boy simply glared while Cyborg chuckled. "Yeah, those were the days!"

Beast Boy grumbled an almost inaudible curse, but he didn't really care if Cyborg heard him or not. The memories freely wheeling about in his head were enough to thoroughly distract him from the large metal men laughing at his own joke as he wiped down the rest of his tools.

But even though he'd never admit it, Cyborg was right. Those days, he'd been childish, immature, and undoubtedly one of Raven's greatest annoyances. Raven, on the other hand, had been cold, calculating, and incredibly solitary. To this day, not much had changed. Aside from having adapted a bit to modern-day standards of hygiene and organization, he had to admit he still enjoyed the occasional prank every now and then. And Raven… Well, Raven was still cold and calculating, but at least she hung out with them much more than before. And not just in the corner reading some book.

Of course, out of all the moments they'd shared together, most of the time, they'd been together as a group. The few times Beast Boy had found himself face to face with Raven, the situation almost always wasn't as pleasant. It usually started with a joke or an offer to take a walk outside and get some fresh air. It almost always ended with a sharp remark, a prompt turn-down, and every now and then, some minor bodily harm. But every bruise had been worth it. Or so he had thought.

"Hey, Cy?"

"Yeah, what is it?" Cyborg asked, calming his laughter to listen to his friend once more. A frown immediately appeared on his face when he noticed Beast Boy's almost anguished expression.

"Do you think that maybe, over the years, Raven has started to kind of… hate me?"

"What?" Cyborg asked in honest disbelief. He stood up and stared hard at the green, self-depreciating changeling before him, and used his best scolding tone. "That's just stupid BB. You know Rae loves ya, she's just difficult sometimes. Sure, she's always got a comeback for just about anything you say to her, but it's all in good fun."

Beast Boy wasn't convinced. This was all that he'd ever told himself over the years. Nothing new. And every word drifted through his mind before eventually petering out, just as before. It just didn't add up. Cyborg seemed to notice, and changed tactics, going for a softer, sympathetic voice.

"Listen B, I know you're worried. But I know Raven just as well as I know you. Well, almost as well as I know you. She'd never hate you. She's just one of those people that doesn't know how to show her emotions all that well. And when you keep in mind that whenever she expresses  _too much_  emotion, her powers go all crazy, it's not that difficult to understand why she sometimes acts the way she does." Cyborg sighed. "I know you like her, dude, and I'm sure…"

"Not anymore."

"Huh?" Beast Boy looked up at him with quite possibly the most pathetic, heart-wrenching face Cyborg had ever contemplated.

"That's just it Cy. I still have feelings for her, but it's more than just a crush I think. I don't know what it is, but whenever she got mad at me before, it didn't feel as bad as it does now."

Cyborg simply stood there, silently, watching his friend. Beast Boy figured as much. He himself hadn't been prepared to admit that he'd ever felt something more than a simple, adolescent crush. He hadn't even been sure he still felt anything towards Raven anymore. But his mouth seemed to have put together what he felt before his brain could figure it out. No real surprise there. But still, it came as a shock to him how right it sounded. It added up, and now he felt worse than before.

"Jesus, B. Those are some pretty strong statements you're making there."

"I know. But if I wasn't sure before, I am now. And the fact that Raven probably can't stand me is driving me nuts. How am I supposed to feel, falling for someone who gets annoyed by my mere presence?"

A small, sad silence drifted over them as the last of Beast Boy's words sunk in and took meaning. He took a deep breath and sunk further down against the workbench, ignoring the sharp, tough tools digging into his back. Finally, Cyborg placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and spoke.

"Listen. I don't know much of what goes on between you two. And I ain't gonna start judging your choice in women. But what I am gonna do is tell you not to jump ahead of yourself. Just take things slow. Give her some space. We'll do what I said, I'll do some friendly espionage, and figure out just how dead you are. Then, you can start to patch things up. Who knows, in the end, things might work out."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Beast Boy huffed.

"I'm serious. We're Titans. We've saved the world, like, a gazillion times. Stopped super-villains that even the justice league would have trouble with. On top of all that, we're five, hormone-filled young adults living together in a cramped, T-shaped tower. If you're gonna let a little thing like a crush gone wrong get you down, I don't think you're fit to be a Titan, BB."

He couldn't help it. He had to smile at that. Cyborg always had a way of making him feel better, no matter what shitty situation he'd gotten himself in. With a grunt, Beast Boy hopped off the workbench and dusted off his spandex, now glittering with specks of metallic powder. He looked up at his best friend, and offered a large, fanged grin.

"Thanks Cy." He knew he didn't have to say more than that. The rest was all implied. It was a guy thing. Two words spoke more than ten-thousand sometimes.

Cyborg just nodded and punched him playfully on his arm. He still had to flinch at that; Cyborg's lightest punch could easily dent the hood of a car.

"No prob, man. Now get outta here. Take a swim or something. And stay low."

"Yes, sir." Beast Boy turned and headed out the door, thinking of ways to distract himself, and keep his distance from the team. At least for the day.


	6. Chapter 6

 

**CHAPTER VI**

 

* * *

 

 

There seemed to be no escape. Everywhere she looked, she found herself surrounded. Insecurity crept in, settling in her chest, blocking her lungs. It was useless to fight, and she knew it. It seemed as though what she'd been running away from since earlier that day, had caught up to her before she'd even had a chance to hide.

From deep within the confines of her mind, her emotions waged war against her conscious self. They refused to let her withdraw into the safety of nonchalance and stoic expression, and drove her heart to beat faster, riling her nerves. She was left all alone to face the inquisitive alien sitting cross-legged before her, who seemed to know a whole lot more than she was letting on.

Raven did the only thing she could. She gulped, and offered a silent prayer to Azar. She knew it was in vain, but at least it would be a worthy battle.

"I apologize friend, does it  _bother_  you that Beast Boy and I spoke of personal matters?" Starfire asked, her innocent tone much too innocent to be believed, and Raven didn't buy it for a second. Not only that, the smirk Star was failing to hold back was a dead giveaway to her intentions.

But she didn't understand. How could she know? Starfire couldn't have figured out her dilemma from a simple slip-up in enunciation. It was highly unlikely. And the whole matter had only just begun to affect her that very morning. The only signs she'd given about it had been over at breakfast, and nothing had happened then to link the matter to Beast Boy…

Right…?

As if answering her unspoken question, memories began to seep back into her mind's eye. Beast Boy's offering of waffles and his sullen expression at her rejection. His concerned tone after the teacup's unfortunate demise. The way she'd flinched when he'd touched her…

_Damn…_

She hurried to patch up her mistake, and break the unbearable silence in the room, hoping Starfire's suspicions would fade away.

"No, not at all. Why would anything Beast Boy does bother me?"

Raven flinched slightly, realizing much too late the irony in her words. If Starfire noticed it, she gave no other sign apart from tilting her head and gazing at her with suspicious, gleaming green eyes.

"From your tone, you seemed upset at the fact that Beast Boy approached  _me_  with his personal matters."

It was obvious Starfire knew what she was doing, and part of Raven suspected that this was less an impromptu girl talk, and more of a well-rehearsed interrogation. It seemed knowledge had not abandoned her, and was still fighting in her corner. She used that to her advantage, and tried to fight off the Tamaranean's disguised inquisition with cold, unfeeling logic.

"Not at all. I just didn't think he'd resort to you; He tends to go to Cyborg for his personal problems." If her tone were any colder, it would have frozen the very air in front of her.

Starfire however, seemed far from put off. If anything, she seemed even more invested in her efforts, a dangerous glint in her eyes that Raven had only seem in glimpses, in the midst of battle.

"That is true. But what he wished to speak of was most… intimate." Starfire said, her voice gaining a sultry tone as she leaned forward conspiratorially. Raven involuntarily tensed, a blush tinting her cheeks, causing Star's smirk to widen a few centimeters more. "He was worried the matter would cause Cyborg discomfort, I suppose. That is why he discussed it with me."

Starfire smiled, and relaxed her posture, laying on her side as she toyed with her coppery hair, innocently and conveniently ignoring Raven's rapidly-extending blush.

_Stop it! You're playing right into her hands! Besides, what do you care if Beast Boy talked with Star? About something personal? And Intimate…?_

Raven chastised herself mentally, clenching her comforter with pale hands as her fingernails dug into the soft fabric. She chanted her mantra silently beneath her breath, trying to calm down her emotions, which were all but shouting at her in her mind. The last thing she needed was an unexpected outburst from her powers to confirm Starfire's suspicions.

"Well… that's good… I guess… Um, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Her alien friend seemed to brighten at her words, her mischievous frontage forgotten momentarily, replaced by a look of innocent curiosity.

"Oh, yes! I have been wondering about the book that had the steam! I asked Beast Boy about this, and he seemed uneasy about the topic. He suggested I ask you."

Raven felt her blush return with a vengeance. A small part of her wanted to phase out of her room and kill Beast Boy. Or at least maim him. Still, she had a bigger fish to fry, in the form of an innocent, inquisitive alien Princess sitting across from her, eagerly awaiting her explanation to erotic literature. And what really killed her was the fact that it wasn't even an erotic novel!

But of course, the one book in her entire library that contained even the slightest bit of smut was also bound to be the only book the others showed any kind of interest in. Why couldn't she have been reading one of her old spellbooks?

"Um, it's not really… I mean…" Raven stalled, wringing her hands as she tried to come up with some sort of escape route. Fortunately, Knowledge seemed to still be on her side. Her eyes lit up as an idea quickly formed in her mind.

"You know what, I'm sure Robin will be able to explain better than I can." Raven said.

 _And it should provide a nice topic of conversation for those two…_  She chuckled in her head.

"Just remember to leave me out of it. It'll just make things more… awkward."

Starfire seemed disappointed, releasing a heavy sigh as she once again changed positions, this time flipping belly-down on the bed as she swung her legs in the air.

"Very well. I will speak with Robin on the matter of the steam in books."

Raven allowed a small smile to grace her features. The relief she felt at having evaded the awkward topic was only reinforced by the mischievous spark she got from the knowledge of poor Robin's fate. It wasn't personal, but if anyone had to endure giving  _those_  kinds of explanations to Starfire, it should be the one that would probably take away her innocence. Sooner or later.

Raven shuddered as that thought lingered for a few second longer than what was prudent. She figured it was probably Rude running her mind through the gutter again. She was starting to worry that this might become a habit with her emotion, but that preoccupation was promptly shelved as Starfire once more broke the silence with a soft voice.

"Raven?"

"Hmm?" She hummed distractedly, still trying to shift her thoughts towards something more neutral. Disturbingly enough, they shifted toward Beast Boy, and something regarding her own innocence. She would have to speak with Rude quite soon, and not so diplomatically this time.

Starfire broke into her thoughts with another of her questions, this time, sincere concerns gracing her features as she stared at her, glancing at her very soul. It was very exposing, and Raven felt herself shiver at the sensation.

"When will you accept your feelings for Beast Boy?"

Raven almost choked on her own breath, skin paling and eyes widening. Her whole body tensed, and she knew that any hopes of maintaining a casual front were ruined. She looked at Starfire, narrowing her eyes, but Raven was surprised to find that she no longer held that mischievous glare or any sort of ill-intending expressions. She simply stared with worried eyes, awaiting her answer. If only Raven knew what the right answer to that question was. But for now, she'd play it safe.

"What feelings? I don't know what you're talking about."

Raven knew what feelings Starfire was referring to. They were the same feelings she was still trying to sort out herself. But knowing those feelings were public made her feel even more uncertain about figuring it all out. It had all been so close to perfection back when the only thing Beast Boy caused in her was irritation.

Raven also knew that her defenses were failing. Her monotone was cracking, and her entire body seemed to be twitching randomly as an odd warmth spread throughout her chest. And somehow, Raven got the feeling that Starfire knew just what was happening. Maybe it was the glint in her friend's eyes, or the small, knowing smile on her face. Or maybe it was the waves of certainty and accomplishment that were radiating off of her that were practically smothering Raven's empathic sense.

"Raven, there is no shame in having such emotions."

"I don't have  _any_  emotions. Least of all for  _Beast Boy_." She spat out his name as if it held a bad taste in her mouth, although quite the opposite was true. At the same time, her mind ached with conflicting thoughts. Her emotions seemed to feel indignant at her denial, though which denial, she wasn't sure.

Starfire smirked. "For an empath, you seem rather blind to your own emotions, Raven."

She wasn't going to lie. That one had hurt just a bit. Not because it was a low blow. But rather because Starfire was right. With all her training in empathic abilities over the years, she still couldn't figure out her own feelings. It drove her mad, but she'd never admit it. Even if her best friend saw it as plain as the nose on her face.

"There is nothing  _going on_  here," Raven said scoffing, trying to keep her words calm and neutral. Still, the irritation in her tone was clear. "I don't know what you're talking about. Beast Boy is a friend, just like the rest of you. I feel the same for him as I do for you, or Cyborg, or Robin."

A small silence filled the room as she contemplated the words that had almost unconsciously slipped past her lips. There it was again. That small sensation of something gnawing at the back of her mind, like there was something wrong just under her nose, but she still couldn't see it. Starfire narrowed her eyes to look at her once more with a look that she'd seen even the Boy Wonder cower under. Raven's mouth was suddenly dry, even if her face remained unchanged.

"I expected better from you."

Raven just scoffed and rolled her eyes, pulling her knees closer to her as she sat huddled on her bed. She agreed with Star. She expected better from herself as well. But it was too soon. She hadn't had time to meditate and sort out her problem.

"Spare it." Raven said wearily.

"I am most serious. Perhaps you can fool the boys, but you should know not to try and hide your emotions from me."

Starfire's bright green eyes bore deeply into her own. Raven had been on the receiving end of Starfire's glare very few times, but it was never a pleasant experience. She could practically feel the energy from her trying to burrow its way into her head and instill guilt and doubt. It was a worthy challenge, and Raven glared back as hard as she could. They spent the better part of five minutes simply sitting cross-legged across from each other on Raven's tumultuous comforter.

Finally, it was enough. Guilt and doubt had been thoroughly instilled into her mind, and Raven could handle it no more. Her body tensing, she prepared herself for the pain that was sure to come.

"I think you should go." Raven watched as Starfire slowly floated down unto her mattress, and her smile faded quietly away to be replaced by a heartbreaking expression of anguish. She wanted nothing more than to confess her stressful situation and allow herself to be comforted by her friend. But she wouldn't allow that. She  _couldn't_  allow that.

Starfire finally deflated, and with a defeated façade, stood from Raven's bed, leaving her once more alone amongst her dark anguish. Raven couldn't bear to look at her friend in the eye, feeling both ashamed and guilty for her treatment of the only one in the tower who seemed to care.

"Very well, Raven. I shall leave." Starfire spoke in a soft, hurt voice. She was driving the guilt card through the roof, playing it for all its worth. But Raven had already hit her threshold. Starfire's act couldn't possibly make her feel worse than she already did.

As Raven fought back the screams of her emotions from within, Starfire paced slowly towards the door. Raven knew she was deliberately taking her time, testing to see if Raven snapped. To see if she repented at the last possible second, if only to add to the drama. But Starfire could keep walking for decades, because Raven wasn't planning on confessing a thing.

What was there to confess?

But her emotions weren't allowing her that escape, and guilt washed over her yet again, tying her stomach down and beating it to a pulp. Starfire had reached the door, and was pressing the button to whisk it open. As she sat there alone on her bed, her emotions fought with all their might to be released, wrestling for control over her tongue to scream out,  _"Wait!"_

The door to Raven's room opened with a whisper, and revealed a seven-foot tall cybernetic man with an upraised fist and a stunned expression. Both girls froze, some more than others, at the sight of Cyborg attempting to knock on Raven's door.

Immediately her mind raced with horrible thoughts. How long had he'd been standing there, deliberating on whether or not to knock? Had he overheard their conversation? No, of course not, the door was several inches thick. But he was a cyborg, surely he could have adjusted his hearing or something? Did he know? Know what? About Beast Boy. What about Beast Boy?

"Umm… Am I interrupting…?" Cyborg said, finally breaking the tense silence that had seemingly dragged on for minutes.

Instantly, Starfire brightened, that dangerous gleam returning to her eyes as she once more floated in midair.

"Not at all, Cyborg! I was just leaving. I'm sure you and Raven have many interesting things to discuss." Starfire said, much too joyously to be considered straight talk. Raven narrowed her eyes at the red-haired alien smirking in the doorway, while Cyborg simply scratched his head in confusion. With a flash, Starfire was gone, racing off to who knew where, and Cyborg was left frozen in place halfway into Raven's room.

 

* * *

 

The last thing he'd expected was to interrupt one of Starfire's notorious  _girl talks_. It was a well-known fact that messing with her precious earth custom was punishable by severe glaring and a time-out in the closet. Beast Boy had learned that the hard way over the years.

Still, his knees almost groaned in relief as Starfire simply waved him off and floated down the hall with a suspicious smirk on her face. Anything was better than one of her glaring sessions. Still scratching his head in confusion as his CPU raced to make sense of the situation, his human brain turned towards the one person who might reach a solution before him, and who was now glaring at him from within the murky confines of her room.

"Umm… What was  _that_  all about?" Cyborg asked.

"Never mind. What did you want, Cyborg?" Raven said, her voice carrying a sharp edge that he doubted was aimed at his interruption of their girly talks. He'd heard that tone several times, and usually aimed at the resident troublemaker of the Tower, which immediately reminded him of his original purpose. It only took a few nanoseconds, and he had switched over from concerned roommate, to stern big brother mode.

A quick scan of the room revealed that the only object capable of withstanding his weight was an antique-looking armchair that seemed to have been restored to its former 16th century glory. With a slow and steady pace, he carefully ignored Raven's hanging question, and made his way toward the chair, carefully avoiding glancing in her direction. He had to establish the proper atmosphere, and that he was in charge of this particular discussion. Otherwise, it was a moot point.

The door slid shut behind him, cutting off most of the light illuminating their surroundings. He didn't mind, his cybernetic implants more than making up for the lack of light as his eyes adjusted in 3.8 nanoseconds. More than enough time to spot raven closing her cloak tighter around her in an obviously defensive move.

He sat down carefully, measuredly, ignoring the creaking of the wood beneath his titanium-alloy frame. He'd have to ask Raven for the chair's secret some other time, but for now, he focused his attention on gazing at her with sharp eyes, and analyzing every detail she had to offer, from posture to biometrics.

Her heart rate and blood pressure certainly revealed much more than what her cold, neutral posture did. With her cloak draped around her, she almost reminded Cyborg of a child pretending to be a ghost under a blanket. Except Raven's ghost was considerably scarier. Still, he knew he was at an advantage, with her body temperature skyrocketing, and the other subliminal clues her body couldn't hide. She was emotionally unstable, and as hazardous to his health as it was, it was also when she as most likely to discuss anything personal with him.

Cyborg exhaled slowly, marking the beginning of the conversation. It was all part of the plan. He knew she wanted to interrupt, to say something, probably to kick him out of her room. But for now, the ball was in his court. Now he just had to handle it with careful precision.

"So…"

"So…" Raven echoed. Her face betrayed no intentions, but he could tell she was nervous. She was trying and failing to hide her tapping fingers beneath her cloak. Placing a heavy foot on his knee, he leaned back, careful not to overexert the chair's capacity, and settled into a more relaxed, yet equally imposing posture.

"What happened?" He said.

Raven twitched. The first superficial sign she'd given since he'd walked into the room. Normally, he'd feel victorious at this point, but something told him this wasn't his average big-brother scolding session. She knew the game. She'd been a recipient of his infamous chats plenty of times, and he had to hand it to her, she was the most challenging rival.

He knew her strategy like a play-by-play. She'd play the silent statue card, giving away nothing, and waiting it out until his patience wore thin and he'd leave. But he always managed to at least sneak in a hard truth or a difficult sentiment to leave her thinking afterwards. It was the best he could hope for with Raven.

That, and leaving her room in one piece. His shoulder never really recovered from the last time his arm was thrown into the harbor. The joint still smelled like seawater.

Finally, she reacted, shifting slightly on her bed and clutching her cloak closer to her lithe frame.

"I have no idea what you're referring to."

Cyborg sighed. He rubbed his eye with a heavy hand, applying just enough pressure to soothe the organic ache that had started to build up as usual, but not enough to hurt. His robotic eye simply observed Raven as her blood pressure increased slowly.

"Come on Rae, you know how this is gonna go down already. Just do us both a favor."

She froze for a second, her glare intensifying, and he recognized this tactic as well. Feigned offense. She'd close up, offer nothing in return, but if he played his cards right, she'd drop the act. It was tricky, but not impossible. A subtle smile graced his face before disappearing beneath his cold, stern mask.

"I'm afraid I do  _not_  know how this is going to  _go down_. Care to enlighten me?"

Her monotone wasn't nearly enough to hide the sharp sting of her words clearly meant to insult him and drive him away. It hadn't worked the last dozen times, it wasn't going to work now.

But the situation was more delicate than before, if Beast Boy's broken state was anything to go by. Though he was reluctant to put everything on the table and risk losing everything, Cyborg opted for the open approach, and went straight for the root of the matter with a weary, but sincere, tone.

"Look. I know B can be difficult at times, and kinda thick-headed. But whatever he did, was it really  _that_  bad?"

Her reaction sincerely shocked him. Her biofeedback was off the charts. Elevated heart rate, a sudden spike in blood pressure, dilation of her pupils, even her hormones…

But as rapidly as she'd seemingly collapsed, she'd built her defenses back up, and retained her cold demeanor.

"He invaded my privacy.  _Again_. And he betrayed my trust.  _Again._ "

"Fair enough," He replied, holding his hands up in defeat, "But the fact that he had no ill-intentions should count for something don't you think?"

Raven narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing him, probably wondering what game he was playing. This time he made no effort to hide his victorious grin. She was playing into his hands and she knew it.

_Game._

"And how would you know what his intentions were?" She asked, doubt evident in her tone.

"He was trying to apologize for whatever made you blow up at breakfast earlier."

"But that had nothing to do with…" Raven froze, her eyes widening as the realization of what she'd begun to say hit her like a freight train. Cyborg simply smiled.

_Set._

"Look," Cyborg said, rising from the distressed armchair with a distinct air of finality, "all I'm saying is that the poor guy feels awful. Maybe you could cut him a break. I mean, if anything, he's sincerely sorry, even if he doesn't know what for."

In the resulting silence, Cyborg counted his steps towards the door as he waited for the inevitable. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

"Fine." Came the breathy response from behind him. He didn't need to turn around to see what shape Raven was in for her to collapse like that. He almost felt a pang of guilt, but remembering Beast Boy's sullen state, he felt like it was a necessary evil.

With his mission finally accomplished, he knew he could rest easy that night and not have to worry about the new up-and-coming Titan couple in the tower causing chaos and mayhem this time around.

"Good. Oh, and if you still want those waffles, he left them in the fridge for ya. Top shelf on the left, next to the milk."

He wasn't sure if he imagined it or not, but he would have sworn a tiny, almost sub-sonic  _d'aww_ had escaped Raven's lips. He wouldn't bet his life on it though. He figured he should probably quit while he was ahead, and blame the noise on interference or some static phenomenon in the hall.

_Match._

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day went on as usual, or as usual as things could be in Titan's Tower. For Cyborg, that meant spending four hours underneath a two-ton chassis trying to figure out how to sustain an engine large enough to propel his latest pet project.

His latest baby, whom he refused to name as of yet, would be his flagship creation. In his mind, he'd envisioned it as a home away from home. Something that would meet absolutely every one of their needs, without sacrificing comfort or peace of mind, and that could function as a home away from home even in the harshest of conditions.

Robin said it looked like an RV.

But what did Robin know about advanced engineering? Cyborg vented his pent up frustration with their illustrious leader on a rebellious lug nut that refused to stay in place. Over the clanking of metal and his own muttered curses at the defiant piece of the would-be engine, he never heard the garage door slide open. It wasn't until he felt the trolley on which he lay being pulled out of from under his baby that he reacted.

By the time his head emerged from under the half-finished vehicle, his sonic cannon was armed and whirring, aimed at where he'd calculated his intruder's face would be. However, all he saw were the unblinking stares of the ceiling lights staring down at him. He blinked a few times before his gaze shifted slightly upwards, where he saw bright green eyes staring down at him with a mischievous gleam. Upside down, of course.

"Hello, Cyborg. I hope I am not interrupting anything of importance." Starfire said, her smirk speaking more than her words. Cyborg sighed and twisted in order to stand up from his crawler, ignoring the groans of protests from his mechanical joints. He made a cybernetic reminder to himself that he was due for an oil change. And a day off from the chaos of his fellow Titans.

"No Star, 'course not. What'd you need?" Cyborg said, stalking over to his workbench to wipe the grease from his wrench, keeping his robotic eye fixed on the suspicious alien girl orbiting around him. He recognized the motion. It meant she was nervous. His body instinctively created a restore point. Just in case.

"To be the honest, I require your assistance for a mission of most importance." She said, practically singing the words out of sheer joy.

Cyborg couldn't help but feel his mood lighten a bit as Star floated a few feet higher in the air. Still, something was off about this mission of hers. Cyborg made as if he were considering her request as he sat at his desk, distractedly rearranging wire filaments, but his internal processors were racing to predict the outcomes.

If Starfire had come to him, it meant Robin wasn't involved, otherwise she wouldn't have come alone. And if Robin wasn't in the loop, it meant it wasn't something he'd approve of. Which meant something morally ambiguous or at the very least underhanded. Which meant the price to pay would be severe if Robin were to find out.

It took him 2.8 seconds to come to the conclusion that whatever Starfire was about to ask of him, would not be something enjoyable. At all. A spark lit up his face as he accidentally crossed the wires of his custom-built CPU chip. He silently cursed, hoping it wouldn't mean two more months of work to rebuild the thing from scratch.

"Alright," Cyborg said, twisting in his chair to face his exuberant friend, "What's this mission of yours, and what's it got to do with me?"

Starfire simply flashed her wide smile, and did her best to appear as innocent as Cyborg knew she was not.

"I have noticed that our friends Raven and Beast Boy have been acting the strange for some time…" Star began, eerily reminding him of how the Boy Wonder usually started his team meetings.

"An animal shape-shifter and demonic princess have been acting strange? Define strange."

Star's façade dropped for a split second, her face contorting into an expression of annoyance the likes of which usually adorned Raven's face. Cyborg simply sat back on the bench and crossed his arms, silently preparing himself in the possible event of Starbolts. Probability was up by 12.4 percent.

"What I meant is that they have been acting strange around each other," Star continued, still floating in circles. At least it wasn't pacing. Cyborg hated pacing. "I believe they have the feelings for each other, but they are afraid of facing the truth. I wish to help them by doing the matchmaking with them!"

Starfire punctuated her thrilling battle plan with a mid-air pirouette, looking at Cyborg with hope clearly written across her face accentuated by an eager smile. Cyborg however, could only hope massaging his temples would be enough to prevent the headache that was soon to come.

"Star, I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but there is  _no_  way I'm getting myself in the middle of that. Nuh-uh, it's got drama written all over it." Cyborg said, his heart sinking a bit as he watched Starfire visibly deflating.

"But, we must help our friends! They are too stubborn to accept their feelings otherwise!"

"Pot, meet kettle."

"I am… what?" Starfire asked innocently, her head tilted in curiosity. Cyborg stifled a chuckle by clearing his throat before continuing in a more business-like tone.

"Never mind. Look, all I'm saying is that getting involved is a surefire way to make things messy. It's best to let these things work themselves out, Star. I mean, look at you and Robin. You guys are fine now, and we let you do everything on your own."

Starfire crossed her arms, floating back a ways towards the T-car, Cyborg supposed in order to try and hide the blush in her cheeks.

"This is not the same. Robin and I were young, and I did not know human mating rituals as well as I do now."

"Mating… rituals?"

"That is was you call the seduction of a member of the opposite sex, is it not?" Starfire asked, and this time Cyborg had to fight back the instinctive blush that spread on his cheek.

"Yeah, well, most of us just call it dating." Cyborg shuffled his feet. Sometimes he missed manly counseling.

"I see…" Star said, settling down on the hood of the car. Cyborg chuckled and rolled his chair towards where Starfire had sat down. The girl had grown emotionally since she'd first arrived on earth all those years ago, but she still somehow managed to maintain some of that alien naivety that made her who she was.

"Well then," Starfire said, a smirk once more adorning her face and lighting a fire in her eyes, "We must make Raven and Beast Boy do the dating!"

"Whoa, what do you mean,  _we_?" Cyborg asked, holding his hands up as though a gun were being pointed at him. Figuratively.

"Please Cyborg, I cannot possibly achieve this without your help, and Robin will not approve of this plan." Star pleaded, clutching her hands in front of his face in a begging gesture.

"For once, I agree with bird-brain." Cyborg said, standing from the chair and heading towards the garage door, "Trust us, Star, it's best to let this play itself out on its own."

The door slid open and Cyborg stood at its side, waiting for Starfire to leave. He wasn't kicking her out. But it was necessary for her to understand that his decision was final. It was with a heavy heart that he motioned towards the hall leading to the elevator, but it was part of his job as level-headed big-brother to all, to make sure that things stayed within a certain level of normal. As odd as that seemed for a superhero team.

Starfire, however, made no move to head for the door. Instead, she folded her hands over her lap, and stared at them with a melancholy expression. Something about it made Cyborg's drivers skip a beat.

"I had hoped it would not be necessary to do this. Please believe me when I say I have no other choice."

Starfire slowly floated up towards him, and tapped a few buttons on her wrist communicator. Cyborg silently cursed himself for having taught her how to use the blasted thing. He knew it'd eventually come back and bite him, but he hadn't pictured it would happen like this. He knew what was happening before it happened, and he only hoped it wasn't too bad. For everyone's sake.

A holographic screen emerged from the communicator on Star's wrist, and began to play a short video clip of him behind the wheel of his car. At first nothing happened. But then he started humming. It was innocent at first. What Titan never hummed their theme song? But the problem began when he began to ad-lib the lyrics.

Cyborg covered his face with one hand while he waved Starfire off with the other.

"Enough. Just, make it stop."

Starfire shut the video down, but no longer did she seem regretful about the blackmail. If anything, the victorious grin on her face made her look more like her sister. He considered telling her that, but that would just be cruel.

"How did you get that?"

Starfire's smile widened.

"It was a gift from Beast Boy, for my birthday. He told me that if someday I required a favor from you, that this would help convince you."

He narrowed his eye, silently coming up with ways to deal with the green imp later. But for now, the real menace was standing before him, and he knew she wasn't messing around. Still, he figured he should test her bluff. After all, hacking a communicator was as easy as basic arithmetic for him.

"So how's this gonna go. Either I help you or what, you show this to the Titans East? The Hive?"

"YouTube."

Cyborg blanched. Now  _that_  was a low blow. Even if he managed to track it down and delete it, once it was in the internet, it was there forever.

"How…"

"Robin helped me. He even offered to share it on his  _wall_ , I believe it's called?"

Cyborg gulped. Robin had several friends on the Justice League in his network. If that video made it all the way up to the top brass…

"Okay, okay, fine, you win. Damn, girl, I didn't think you had it in ya'."

Starfire simply smiled and flew right past him, humming their theme song.

"I shall explain the first step of my plan tonight. See you at dinner, friend!"

And with that, Starfire flew off down the hallway, probably already hatching some other diabolical plot in that twisted Tamaranean mind of hers. Cyborg shuddered. Who would've thought that the best blackmailer in the tower had been Starfire all along?

Wiping his hands on a rag hanging off a hook on the wall, Cyborg made a mental note to pummel Beast Boy for giving her that video after all the  _matchmaking_  was over. He tossed the rag over his shoulder, and giving his half-finished creation one last look, set off towards the gym to blow off some steam, humming a familiar tune under his breath.

" _When there's trouble you know who to call… Call Cyborg!_ "

 

* * *

 

Of all the places in Jump City, Chinatown had always seemed like the easiest place to hide in. At least for Beast Boy. After the sun set over the harbor, the city nightlife began to bustle, and suddenly, nobody noticed who they bumped into anymore. Not that they would have particularly noticed Beast Boy.

Blonde, tan, and dressed in slacks and a flannel button-down shirt, he looked like one of the mannequins on a shopping mall store display. He figured Cyborg had specifically programmed the hologram on his ring to attract the least amount of attention, but he knew that if anyone looked too closely, he'd be recognized. He looked the same, sans green skin and pointed ears. Which was why Beast Boy chose to explore the town during the night, when people where either too busy or too drunk to notice an average college-age kid eating Kung Pao Tofu while walking the Market Mile.

Beast Boy tuned out the sounds of vendors hustling their wares and children screaming for sweets, and focused on his other senses. The colors that vibrated around him, the smells that filled the market, fruits and vegetables and roots and spices that could only be found in that tiny slice of the Orient nestled into the heart of the otherwise all-American city.

Still, he couldn't afford to be distracted. He narrowly dodged a bicyclist racing through the middle of the street, probably in a hurry to make a delivery. Life raced on around him, but to his sharpened reflexes, it felt as though everything were moving slower than it really was. He smiled and dug into his crispy meal, enjoying the subtle tastes of vegetables mixed with soy. It was a treat that he felt he deserved, if only to bring his spirits up, and try to keep his mind of what was really troubling him.

He spotted a bench on the edge of the sidewalk and quickly dodged his way towards the heavenly resting place, fortunately abandoned in the throng of people in a hurry to get to their next insignificant point in life. Leaning back into the bench and relaxing, he took a moment to simply watch the street. The stalls, cluttered in their messy organization, with exotic ingredients and trinkets overflowing. The people, both tourists and natives, scurrying to find whatever they were looking for, and then looking for it again at a better price. And of course, the scum of the earth, the young pickpocket that had stolen, by his count, fifty-something dollars from unsuspecting victims. Or the greasy-looking mugger who kept hidden, or so he thought, in the alley next to the souvenir stall, sizing up people to try and find his next victim.

But as much as he would have loved to intervene, he knew it wasn't his place. He was off duty. Attacking either of the criminals would only reveal his identity, and the peace he could buy with his ring was much too valuable to waste on scumbags like them. At least as long as they didn't hurt anybody. He was keeping tabs on the mugger, just in case he got violent or made a grab for the switchblade in his pocket.

When his chopsticks hit the bottom of the carton box and rose empty out of the container, Beast Boy snapped out of his trance, and tossed the little white box into the garbage can next to the bench. He leaned forward and sighed, keeping his eyes on the man in the alley.

He was doing his best to keep himself preoccupied, yet every now and then, his thoughts returned to Raven.

He wanted to puke. And not because of the smell coming from the rotisserie three stalls down the street. All those years carefully building up their relationship, all those times they'd managed to be  _friends_  at the very least, and he'd come dangerously close to throwing that all away. Hopefully cyborg would be able to help calm the waters.

_I should've just left it well enough alone…_

He knew it was a dangerous path, that becoming anything more than friends was unlikely and definitely problematic. But it was too rich a temptation. It had lured him towards perilous waters, and now he felt that he was close to drowning in the depths. Their friendship was already strained enough as things went.

He smiled as he thought back to those times, and they were often enough, where they'd engage in a sort of battle of wits. He'd try to come up with a witty joke, she'd bite back with a sharp retort, he'd feign offense and offer his own comeback, and so on, and so forth. If he were honest with himself, the times when they were supposedly bickering was when he was happiest. Because at least he was with Raven, and she was with him. It only saddened him it had taken such drastic measures, and the events that it took, for him to finally realize that.

But what if what he had thought was playful banter had been no more than cruel remarks? Hints towards what she really felt towards him? Annoyance.

He blinked when his eyesight shifted involuntarily, and he searched for whatever had made him snap out of his reverie. His eyes gave him an answer soon enough, when he saw the mugger was gone. He searched the crowd, but didn't spot him. Nor did he see any signs of a disturbance. Standing up, he casually smoothed out his shirt and walked across the street to the alley to try and spot the suspect.

As he made his way across the street, Beast Boy felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle, and he turned sharply, sensing something behind him. However, he was only met with a young Asian woman who excused herself, wide-eyed, as she dodged him and continued on her way, carrying a small package in her hands, and leaving behind a wafting scent of chicken dumplings and expensive perfume.

Turning back towards the alley, Beast Boy focused on finding the would-be mugger in the alley. Focusing on his eyes, he shifted them into cat eyes, hoping the extra night vision might come in handy, and not be so conspicuous in a dark alley. It was a small trick he'd learned some time ago. Coincidentally, with Raven's help.

As he walked into the alley, fortunately unnoticed by the crowd still shuffling through the market, Beast Boy noticed nothing out of the ordinary. A few ravaged trash cans loitered halfway through the deserted place, overlooking a river of foul looking liquid that ran most of the length of the alley. It ended against a brick wall, separating it from yet another alley on the side.

With a sigh, Beast Boy stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned around to exit the depressing place. The man must have jumped over the wall, either out of fear of being spotted, or in the hopes of finding a better victim on the other side. Either way, his job was over. The local PD would have to handle him.

As he exited the foul smelling place, relieved to once more welcome the scents of fresh produce, he spotted an identical alley across the street, behind the bench where he'd been enjoying his late-night snack. He tilted his head in curiosity, much like Starfire usually did. He hadn't even noticed the alley, probably due to its lack of suspicious inhabitants. But what caught his eye was the small, luminous sing hanging on the worn-out brick wall, almost invisible over the throng of people crowding the street. Almost.

Once more he navigated the thrumming current of the crowd to emerge on the other side, once again feeling that odd sensation of being watched. He paid it no heed this time, hoping to save himself from the embarrassment of jumping at someone. At least with his holo-ring though, people wouldn't be as scared as if Beast Boy jumped them. A blond college kid dressed like he was didn't exactly scream  _monster_  like green skin and fangs did.

As soon as he entered the alley, an eerily-familiar smell caught his attention, and his heart skipped a beat. It was the unmistakable sweetness of herbal tea and honey. Although the honey was a rare addition, the tea he recognized from years of smelling it during breakfast. Sometimes right next to him, sometimes on the other side of the table, other times all the way over on the couch. But certainly always present. It involuntarily brought a smile to his face, and he walked towards the door beneath the sign.

Though it was in Chinese, a small ceramic plaque next to the door spelled out the tiny shop's name in English. It read  _The Porcelain Lotus – Tea Shop and Cafee_. He chuckled and hoped whoever had made the little plaque didn't charge by the letter, seeing the extra  _e_ in café. He figured the owners must not have cared to check the spelling, or perhaps they simply didn't read English.

His hand gripped the wooden handle, and as he pushed inwards to open the door, his senses were flooded by a thousand different sensations. The smell of tea was only one of the hundreds of smells he could distinguish inside the shop, thanks to his sensitive nose. Along with probably another hundred that he'd never know how to identify. Despite being hidden in an alley with dim lighting, the shop was filled with people, all murmuring quietly and respectfully as a small jazz band improvised in a makeshift stage in the corner. And Chinese lanterns of every color imaginable decorated the interior of the quirky shop, illuminating the faces of its denizens in an array of shades and combinations.

"Welcome, can I show you to a table?" A soft, delicate voice interrupted the assault on his senses, and Beast Boy looked around to see a young girl, probably no more than fifteen, holding a menu and smiling up at him. He took one more glance around, trying to find the unoccupied table she meant, but finding none, he hesitantly agreed.

"Um, sure, I guess. Are you sure there's room? I was really just curious about the place anyways…" He stuttered. He preferred not to make a scene squeezing past dozens of people. The risk of being noticed, even here, was ever present.

"Of course! There's a table near the bar. Right this way!" The girls insisted, her cheer apparently not feigned for the sake of her customers. He had to admit, it felt nice being welcome. Even in that strange little tea shop. He followed the girl through the café, and soon realized it was much bigger on the inside, despite its inconvenient front door.

The tables in the center seemed to be for groups of friends, or meetings even, filled with buffet-like plates of pastries and non-stop tea and coffee, while along the walls, comfortable wooden booths hugged the walls, which while providing no view of the outside world, made for a perfect niche to hide away from the rest of the world.

The girl finally stopped near the end of the wall, next to a small, unoccupied bar, and an empty private booth. With a smile, she handed him one of the menus, and excused herself as she returned to her post by the door to welcome more curious visitors. With a muttered thank you, he sat himself down and flipped open the menu.

The first two pages were a list of what he figured was every possibly tea variation possible in the universe. The remaining two pages were coffee, drinks, wine, and a variety of pastries and sandwiches. Fortunately, no meat. Already he was taking a liking to this place.

When the waitress, yet another girl almost identical to the one who'd shown him to his booth, asked for his order, he figured being in a tea shop made it almost obligatory to order tea. So he ordered tea. When asked which kind, he simply pointed to one at random on the menu. Despite his blush, the girl was kind enough to smile and tell him it was a good choice. Slowly, the embarrassment of being alone in a tea shop seeped away, and Beast Boy became more comfortable, relaxing against the comfortable seat and simply taking in the sounds and scents of the peculiar place.

The waitress finally returned after a few minutes, with a glass teapot filled with strange herbs, a jug of what he figured was the hot water, and a white ceramic teacup. He jumped in his seat, straightening attentively as she smiled at him.

"So, how does this thing… work?" He asked, once again feeling uncomfortably out of place. The girls simply giggled, and placed the items on his table.

"Just pour the water into the pot, wait for two minutes, and then pour the tea into your cup. Enjoy!" She said with a sincere smile on her face, and she turned around and left, leaving him to his own devices.

With steady hands, he filled the teapot almost to the brim, and watched as the herbs seemed to take life and swim around inside the glass teapot. His tongue automatically darted out to rub the tip of his fang, though in his holographic disguise, it had probably looked as though he'd stuck out his tongue at the teapot. As he poured the hot water, he watched, transfixed, as a few of the herbs, tiny little balls, suddenly began to grow and spin inside the teapot, until they blossomed into delicate, pink flowers, floating around in the middle of his tea. The water began to take on a rosy hue, and his nostrils detected a savory, almost sweet scent emanating from the teapot, before it mixed with the resonating scents of a dozen other teapots.

He poured some in his cup, and took a tiny sip, careful not to burn himself like he'd done last time he'd tried some of Raven's herbal stuff. As soon as the tea touched the back of his throat, he had to cover his mouth not to spit it out. It tasted like grass. But not the sweet, savory, almost minty grass that he'd so often enjoyed nibbling on. No, this was dark, bitter grass that tasted like it had been stepped on by a gardener several times over. And then brewed in hot water.

Tea, apparently, was much too sophisticated for him, he thought as he practically choked back the liquid still grasping at his throat. Though he figured someone like Raven might have appreciated the tea, it was too intricate for him. Too many complex flavors mixed together. If he'd wanted to drink grass water, he'd have just boiled some grass back at the tower. It probably would have tasted better too. He chuckled to himself at his ineptitude to enjoy what others seemingly praised to no end. But his taste buds had apparently been ruined by years of junk food and coffee.

Standing from his booth, and leaving a twenty on the table, he walked to the bar and ordered a beer, hoping to wash the taste from his mouth. The bartender, yet another young looking girl, who he now suspected was related to the other two, smiled at him, and obliged, handing him a cool glass bottle filled with the delicious nectar of the gods. The gods of sports bars, at least.

Beast Boy sighed, hunching over his beer in a protective shell, and tapping his feet restlessly against the iron footrest of the bar. In the end, tonight had seemed to work against him in his efforts to clear his head. Everything had eventually led back to Raven. How he pictured her fluttering through the endless array of incense, baubles, and beads of the Chinese market. Wondering at the colors and sounds of the mystic little piece of Asia in the upper west side of the city. Laughing as he scrunched up his face after tasting the bitter concoction that he'd ordered, while her refined tastes would allow her to savor what was undoubtedly a delicious tea. It had better be, for fifteen bucks a pop.

But his imaginations were all short lived fantasies, and he knew it. Because as he knew, Raven didn't flutter, she didn't wonder, and she practically never laughed. Least of all with him. Hell, not even  _at_  him. He'd even settle for that. Another sip of the amber liquid helped erase a bit of the sting, and blurred the images a bit more, letting his sorrows fade little by little.

A sudden motion behind him made his ears stand up, and though invisible under his holographic cloak, he still paid them heed. Twisting rapidly in his bar, but not brusquely enough to warrant attention, he met the eyes of yet another girl, no, this time a woman, with fiery red hair and bright green eyes. She smiled at him with a dangerous smile, seductive but with a subtle edge that he couldn't quite place. Despite her beauty, Beast Boy chose to shift back in his seat, and put a little more distance between himself and the mysterious redhead.

"I take it you're no fan of tea, either?" She spoke in a husky voice, a miniscule hint of an accent that Beast Boy managed to detect, no doubt, thanks to his heightened hearing. Already something made him distrust this woman.

"Honestly, I was just being curious. But no, not really a big fan." He said noncommittally. Shrugging his shoulders, he turned his body back towards the bar, trying to cordially nip the conversation in its proverbial bud. The woman, however, seemed not to take the hint. She twisted towards him, making the most of her loose-fitting blouse. Fortunately for him, he'd outgrown the childish attraction towards such things. Staring straight ahead, one side of his lips curved up in a smirk. Raven had certainly seen to it that he didn't keep such habits. Last time he'd been caught sneaking a peek, he'd been three years younger, and his cheek still burned when the memory resurfaced. Magic slaps hurt.

"Well then, here's an idea. I know this great club just three blocks from here, but there's no point going by myself. You maybe want to…?"

"Thanks," Beast Boy said, standing and fishing his wallet out his back pocket, "But I think I'll call it a night. Early morning tomorrow. Here. Drinks are on me."

Leaving behind yet another twenty and a stammering redhead, Beast Boy brushed past one of the waitresses and hurried out of the restaurant. It wasn't until the cool night air hit him that he realized what he'd done. A slight tremor of guilt shook his stomach, but he braved it. The woman was just doing what everyone did on a Saturday night, but being hit on simply seemed to add salt to the wound.

Besides, he thought, the night was already waning at two in the morning, and he hadn't lied. Sunday morning was their unofficial day off this week, and he planned to take advantage of every single minute. Sticking his hands into his jean pockets to try and brave the chill that had suddenly come over him, he walked towards a nearby dark alley, hoping for some privacy where he could shift into some small animal and make his way back home.

He was a few feet away from the pitch black cover of the side street, when he spotted him. The same suspicious looking mugger from before. He was standing yet again on the very edge of the shadows of the alley, overlooking the now nearly empty street, probably still searching for a victim.

Suddenly, and unexpectedly, the mugger turned towards Beast Boy from across the street. And smiled. A chill unlike any other ran the length of his spine. He froze, watching the oily-haired man for sudden moves, waiting to see if he'd rush him, try to mug him, anything. But the man only watched him, silently, frozen, with that same hair-raising smile plastered across his pale, scarred face. Watching him with the stone-cold eyes of a killer.

Rather than pick a fight, Beast Boy looked back towards his own alley, and kept marching forward. It wasn't any of his business. And just as before, his identity held to much value to waste it on a lowlife like him. Camera phones were everywhere nowadays.

He passed the alley, and kept walking for two more blocks, never looking back. He'd have heard the mugger's footsteps if he'd followed him. But he didn't need to listen to know that the mugger wouldn't follow him. Something told him he had no interest in robbing him. If anything, that only disturbed him more.

After finally coming across yet another abandoned alley, Beast Boy quickly shifted into a bat, and fluttered off into the night, making his way across the city, before finally turning into a seagull midflight to allow his broader wings to gently carry him the rest of the way over the harbor and across the bay.

By the time he made it into the tower and up the elevator, sleep was strangling his brain, making his eyes shift focus every few seconds, and his legs too weak to do more than shuffle his feet helplessly towards his room. In a bout of silent hope, he only wished his groggy brain remembered the combination to his door, and that he'd actually gotten the  _right_  door, before finally pressing the buttons, and practically collapsing into the dark room.

At least his mission was accomplished. Raven was out of his head. If only for a while.

 

* * *

 

Raven tossed and turned, yet no matter what position she chose, her pillow troubled her neck, her mattress was too stiff, and her sheets were too itchy. Finally kicking her comforter to the floor in frustration, she turned over, and smothered her face against her rebellious pillow.

All day long she'd been sitting in her room, meditating, or at least trying to, while her emotions waged a war of attrition against her conscious mind. She had only ventured into the bathroom twice, and once into the kitchen when she made sure no one was around. She had devoured the waffles Beast Boy had left for her in a few minutes, her ravenous appetite making short work of the makeshift meal, before disappearing once again into the confines of her room. In all honesty, she had felt even stranger after eating the waffles. Why, though, she was not certain. But her emotions seemed to all have a voice on the matter. It was chaos.

Worst of all, her meditations hadn't worked. Her mind had remained clouded, and her powers had been on the fritz ever since Cyborg had barged in and scolded her like a kindergartener who'd tugged too hard on another girl's pigtails. She was having trouble with even the simplest of spell, and had only managed to levitate a few inches off the floor in the entire day. It was worrisome, to say the least. Fortunately, villains in Jump City had taken up a weekday policy of mayhem and mischief, so she figured she had at least another day to get her mind back in line, and regain control over her powers.

Flailing her arms to throw the sheets off of her body, which now for some reason felt as though they were smothering her, she lay face down on her mattress, covered only by her favorite silk nightgown; the only present she'd ever  _really_  accepted from star. The rest had too many frills and sparkles, whereas the nightgown had only a slight shimmer in its midnight-blue fabric when it caught the light just right. And it looked great with her complexion. Plus it was genuine silk. She couldn't turn it down.

But thoughts of her nightgown inevitably led to thoughts of Starfire, which led to thoughts of Beast Boy, who once again was at the core of her problems. She groaned aloud, letting her pillow absorb most of the sound.

It had been literally years since Beast Boy had last been a nuisance. Of course, he still managed to irritate her every now and again, but over the last few years, he'd actually been irritating in a, dare she say it,  _nice_  way. His pranks had grown few and in between, his jokes had evolved into sarcastic, sometimes even witty remarks that even she could enjoy at times. And he'd begun to pester her with favors and compliments, rather than grievances and childish questions. He'd also clearly matured in several other ways, though she'd tried to ignore it. She tried to justify herself by thinking that she simply hadn't given it much thought. In hindsight, it was probably because she'd been too scared to see what was going on.

Twisting around to face the ceiling, and sighing in defeat, Raven knew she had to accept two dark truths at once that night. The first being that no matter what she did, she'd never sleep comfortably that night. And the second, that her feelings, her attraction, her whatever they wanted to call it, towards Beast Boy, had started long ago. She'd just fought so hard to ignore it that she'd almost convinced herself. With a sigh, Raven lay her hands on her stomach, and closed her eyes, trying to replay memories of the last few years, except without purposefully ignoring Beast Boy this time around.

For some reason, the first moment she could think of was when he'd returned from his secretive solo-mission two years back. She remembered he'd come back differently. He'd looked almost shell-shocked. But Raven hadn't even bothered to ask how it'd been. If everything had gone as planned. If he'd been hurt, or needed someone to talk to. She had figured it was Robin's job to debrief him, not hers. How foolish she'd been. If anyone had been the problem in their fading friendship, it had been her. And that hurt her in a place that she couldn't pinpoint, making the pain that much harder to bear.

Her memories washed over her like a black tide, every snippet of an insult, every turn-down, every grimace and every snarl, filling her with guilt and shame, along with a relatively new sensation. A dark, unbidden fear that perhaps after all this time, she might very well have pushed away the one person who made her feel, as Happy had said,  _whole_.

Her dark musings were quickly interrupted, however, when a brief whooshing sound reached her ears. A sound that she recognized all too well. It was the humiliating sound of her door being opened and her privacy being invaded. Instinctively, she reached for her sheets to cover her half-naked body while preparing a bolt of dark magic with her free hand, ready to smite the intruder to oblivion.

"What the-! What do you think you're…? Beast Boy?" Raven's eyes widened in surprise as she watched the green skinned man of her daydreams and nightmares walk into her room with a strolling gait. His green eyes shone wild against the faded moonlight streaming through her curtains. The dim light reflected off his naked torso and gave him an almost ethereal look. His body seemed carved out of the purest emeralds, his fang glinting like a weathered pearl against the captivating smirk plastered on his face.

Shaking her head clear and snapping out of her girlish admiration, Raven took notice of the several things wrong with the scenario. The first and most obvious being Beast Boy apparently willingly risking life and limb by barging into her room at half past two in the morning. The second was the way his face seemed to portray only passion and lust, and the way his stare made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. And the fact that he was wearing only a pair of purple, skin-tight briefs did not escape her attention, as much as she wished they had. Swallowing what little air she could, she did her best to regain her senses as Beast Boy slowly walked towards her bed, his piercing eyes never leaving hers.

"Beast Boy, are you crazy?! What in heaven's name do you think you're doing?! Get the hell out of my room or I swear to Azar I'll…!" Raven said, waving her right arm threateningly, pulsating magic dancing around her clenched fist. Beast Boy however, seemed to ignore the very real threat, and simply advanced towards her, moving like a panther stalking its prey.

Before she could finish her probably-idle threat, Beast Boy grabbed one of her ankles, and with a swift but gentle motion, pulled her leg towards him at the edge of the bed, pulling her body towards him. Struggling to retain her balance, Raven shifted in mid-air and propped herself up on her hands, leaving her face to face with Beast Boy, who now gently caressed her face. Frozen out of shock and indignation, she was completely vulnerable beneath his stare.

"Shh. You can throw me out the window later, Rae. First, there's something we have to take care of." He whispered, his voice deep and husky. Her eyelids fluttered as she felt his warm breath against her lips and the smell of elm and rain filled her senses.

Without warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, soft and explorative. Her mind seemed to simply abandon every sentient thread of logic, and froze as she stared incredulously at Beast Boy's face scrunched up against her own. It took all of two seconds, however, for lust and passion to take over her body and mind. She closed her eyes as his lips caressed her own, his scent, the scent of man and musk and wilderness, filling her senses, and the warmth of his skin magically soothing the discomfort that had caused her insomnia.

Her hands darted towards his body, and almost recoiled as she felt his skin, boiling hot and tight against his muscular frame. As his lips parted, and his tongue darted past her lips into her mouth, his hands left her face and began to trace twin paths along her neck, down her arms, and against the curves of her body. Letting go of any rational thought, she replied in kind, taking full advantage of the situation to explore every nook and cranny of his torso. He moaned into their kiss as she whisked her hands against his sides, pulling him closer to her. Raven simply reveled at the sensation of their bodies colliding, only a thin layer of silk separating their bodies from the bliss of his warm skin on hers.

She couldn't be sure how long the kiss dragged on, but by the time he pulled away, a mad grin on his face, she was certain that she could have sculpted his body out of clay from memory. Panting and out of breath, simply enjoying the sensation of sharing herself with him, she watched him with hungry, still-innocent eyes as he licked his lips, his hands drifting down towards her legs and the edge of her nightgown. His eyes drilled into hers, speaking silent words of lustful desire and forbidden promises. Her body shivered and tensed in frightful anticipation, and though her mind could form no rational thought, her body seemed to know all too well what was coming.

"What's the matter, Rae? You're not nervous, are you? You've been waiting for this all day, haven't you?" He said, his voice sultry and mocking all at once. Any other day, she'd have smacked him for that. As it was, she could barely whimper out a few ragged words between hitched breaths.

"Sh-shut up, Beast B-boy…"

Propped up on her elbows, she watched helplessly as he lowered his body, dragging it against her own and eliciting sparks of pleasure everywhere he touched. His hands massaged her thighs as his eyes drifted from her face to the only thing separating him from his objective, and her desire. With delicate fingers, he pushed the nightgown up, leaving it bunched up at her waist, and grasped her black, lace lingerie from each side of her hips. As he pulled away down along her legs, a fierce blush invaded her entire body, and she fell backwards, incapable of watching what was about to unfold. She made no move to stop it, though.

His warm breath once again graced her skin, sending a wave of goosebumps across her skin as he leaned closer, and closer. She could feel herself getting warmer, but refused to look away from the dark ceiling above her, as though he might pull away if she caught him with his face where it was. Her breathing became sharp and fast, and her fingernails clutched the bedsheets below her body as Beast Boy used his hands to spread her legs. She shuddered and gave into the thrilling sensation as Beast Boy moved closer, and laid a delicate kiss.

An involuntary moan escaped her lips as he continued his ministrations on her body, at the same time moving his hands to try and touch every inch of skin she had to offer. The room began to spin as his tongue darted out and touched her most sensitive of places, and her back arched as her hips pushed forward on their own accord.

It was bliss. It was paradise. It was perfect. And it was not stopping. Any and all thoughts of anger or rage at his intrusion had been momentarily forgotten as her body moved as if on autopilot, her mind gladly letting go of the controls this once. Beast Boy was treating her with expert care, and not once did she have to speak a word or nudge him to correct his course. He became more fierce and adventurous, openly tasting her and delving into her deepest and most sensitive of places. Their minds were seemingly one, and it was passionate and perfect and good. She was almost sorry it had to end.

Minutes, seconds, hours or days had passed, she couldn't have cared less. But a strange yet familiar sensation filled her body, surging from deep below her belly, and edging forward inch by inch, towards what she knew would be a tidal wave of unbridled pleasure.

"Don't…" She whimpered out, her body seconds away from releasing its oh-so anticipated joy.

"…stop…"

Her final thoughts were filled with a pure, blinding white light as the heavens seemed to open up and filled her with radiant warmth. Her right hand inexplicably darted down towards her lover, and grasped a thick handful of forest-green hair, holding his head in place as she mercilessly bucked her hips. Based on his passionate moaning, he didn't seem to mind, and his tongue certainly never stopped.

It lasted a split second and it lasted an eternity. And when it was over, her eyes opened.

Her heart skipped a beat as she sat upright in her bed, alone, and humiliatingly warm. She looked around and quickly spotted the clock on her nightstand staring at her with its judgmental stare.

_2:47 AM_

Drenched in sweat, Raven peeled off the layer of sheets from her body, and looked down at her legs. She wasn't sure what she felt when she saw no mop of green hair, but instead an embarrassing stain slowly spreading from below her. But one thing was certain, it certainly wasn't relief. Nor, was it regret.

With wide eyes, and limbs shaking from the adrenaline and endorphins still swimming through her veins, Raven sat frozen on her bed, staring blankly ahead as the reality of her situation slowly sank in. Yet another dream with the object of her confusion. And this time, ending with a bang. As she regained control over her senses, she could only bring herself to mutter a simple phrase into the abandoned corners of her room.

"Holy Azar…"


	7. Chapter 7

 

**CHAPTER VII**

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of a titanium-alloy fist colliding with a reinforced steel blast door was a sound unlike any other. Reminiscent of the booming sound of a bolt of lightning ripping through a minefield. Granted, Beast Boy had never heard a bolt of lightning ripping through a minefield, but it was the first image that came to mind as he listened to Cyborg beating relentlessly against his bedroom door at an ungodly hour.

"Come on, grass stain, open up! Rise and shine!" His voice boomed even through the seven-inch thick, supposedly-soundproof door. His alarm clock had nothing on him. And worst of all, he never seemed to have to stop and breathe.

Groaning with a vengeance, he flung his pillow out from under his head towards the door as he fought to keep his eyes closed. It landed with a harmless and silent  _poof_ , and fell to the floor, staring blankly back at him. As the noise continued, and he pressed his arms against his head, Beast Boy recognized it might have been a better idea to smother himself with the pillow first.

Knowing full well the limits of Cyborg's patience, it eventually only took Beast Boy three seconds and a yawn to bid farewell to the last clinging remnants of his dreams. Though he couldn't remember all the details, it had seemed pleasant enough at the time. Something about flying, and a rabbit. A lamp?

Shuffling his feet, he stood at the foot of his bed and stretched his spine, relishing in the symphony of pops and crackles of his bones celebrating their release. His eyes were still stuck together, but the little eyesight he did have was enough to start his way across the room towards his tiny closet.

"Alright, alright, I'm up! Jeez! Hold your oil!" He yelled back against the still-defenseless door. A heavy and final  _thump_  concluded the barrage of sound, and Beast Boy felt his entire body relax. Silence truly was an amazing gift.

"Come on, B! I'm running late to pick up Sarah! I'm calling Last Titan!"

Beast Boy froze at the words, his heart thudding against his chest. It couldn't be. His luck couldn't possibly be that rotten. Twisting to look at his nightstand he checked the time. Five to seven. Impossible early. And if Cyborg was calling Last Titan…

Ignoring the muffled pleas of his friend, Beast Boy pounced at the closet, pulling the twin doors open and revealing his entire wardrobe neatly organized by clothing type and season. Starfire had insisted it was the best way. And he had to admit, it looked better in there than scattered all over the floor. Still, things were equally hard to find.

Grabbing some beat up sweatpants and an old t-shirt from when he'd still been a lanky, five-foot-four goblin, he dressed in record time and almost tripped on his own feet to get to the door. As soon as he touched the panel, the door slid open, leaving him face to face with his fuming friend.

"You take longer than Starfire to get ready, man! Come on, hurry it up, I'm already late as it is." Cyborg grumbled as he turned away, already marching down the hall towards the common room elevator. Beast Boy did his best to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he groggily stumbled forwards, trying to keep up with the metal man. If anything was clear, it was that he really was in a hurry. Had his brain been more awake he might have cracked a joke about being dominated by Sarah, but he was more concerned with keeping his balance as well as his eyes open. Not to mention his head attached to his shoulders.

When they reached the elevator, Cyborg pressed the two buttons they needed while Beast Boy leaned against the inner railing, struggling to shake the grogginess out of his system.

"So, you were joking about the Last Titan thing, right?"

Cyborg's glare made the use of words redundant. It was all the answer he needed.

"Oh, come on!" Beast Boy groaned, "I can't be the last one awake! "

"Sorry man, but you know the rules. You don't like it, take it up with Robin when he comes back."

Beast Boy sulked. In his opinion it was a stupid rule. Robin had come up with it after a certain weekend a few years back. They'd all gone off on their own errands, and had inadvertently left the Tower, and by extension, the city, unattended. A minor crime wave later, the mayor had called, and Robin created the Last Titan Protocol. On their off days, someone always had to stay behind until one of the other Titans returned. But it wasn't like one Titan could have stopped thirteen simultaneous bank robberies and twenty-seven armed assaults on their own. Still, there had been no convincing Robin.

"So where are you off to in such a hurry? Looking for wedding venues already?" Beast boy joked, opting for a more optimistic approach. Better than throwing a fit, he supposed.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I promised I'd go with Sarah to visit her parents down in Santa Monica."

Beast Boy smirked. Judging by his tone of voice and involuntary grimace, Cyborg wasn't exactly looking forward to going on a road trip and meeting the in-laws. Smirking, he crossed his arms and relaxed against the elevator's wall. Sometimes there were worse things than being Last Titan.

"Okay, so that's you. Where did everyone else go?"

"Robin's in Gotham. Apparently, the Bat's got a whiff of something going down on our turf. Robin took the jet to get the full briefing. You know, insecure channels and all that."

"Batman's got a lead in Jump? How come we didn't pick up on it first?"

"Don't know. Probably something on the move. Robin'll tell us when he comes back.

"Sure, I guess. But what about the girls? It's not like them to bail on a Sunday. It's our off day, we were supposed to chill together, man!"

Cyborg smirked, mirroring his pose on the opposite side of the elevator. Something about his knowing stare rubbed Beast Boy the wrong way, and he shivered, breaking eye contact and rubbing his arms. He felt like he was under the microscope, although with Cyborg, that was usually the case. Cyborg on the other hand, looked smug.

"What's wrong, BB? Missing Raven already?"

Beast Boy glared.

"Dude. Too soon."

"Oh come on, B, lighten up!" Cyborg chuckled, stretching across the elevator to give him a playful, hydraulic-powered punch on the shoulder.

"Not cool, man. I still don't know what I'm going to say when I see her."

"Well, I don't think you've got to worry too much about that. I talked to Rae yesterday. I think she'll get over it soon enough." He said with a wink.

Beast Boy wasn't sure how to respond, other than to gawp at his miracle-worker of a big brother. His face must have been a sight to see, based on the way a wide smile split Cyborg's face.

"Dude, seriously?! Oh, man, you're a lifesaver, Cy!"

"Don't thank me just yet. I just paved the way a bit. You're gonna have to do the heavy lifting on this one."

"I don't care," Beast Boy said, unable to stop the grin that spread on his face. "As long as she gives me a chance before she tosses me out the window, I'm happy. I owe you one Cy, for real."

"One? Man, you owe me a few dozen at least. How many times have I saved your skinny but over the years?" Cyborg smirked, the conversation shifting in tone. Beast Boy smirked, playing along.

"Depends. From danger in general, or just from Raven?"

"I've saved you from Raven at least thirty-something times by now."

"You wish. Twenty-eight. I keep track."

Cyborg laughed, and all tension from the previous conversation dissolved. Their friendship was a special one. It was a bromance of sorts, as many would be inclined to call it. To him, Cyborg would always be the older brother he never had, and as close to a parental figure as he could consider. Mento didn't count. Mento had never counted. But Cyborg was a role model for him. Not to mention the only one he could play stankball with on occasion.

The elevator stopped on the seventh floor, and opened up unto the short hallways that led to the common room. Beast Boy stepped out and took a deep breath, already savoring the breakfast spread he'd be able to prepare all for himself.

"Hey man, I don't know about Robin and the girls, but I'll probably be back around lunchtime. Don't throw away my meat this time or I swear I'll tell Raven about the time you stole one of her cloaks!"

"Hah! You have no proof!"

"Proof? I know you hide it in your room. I'll just tell Raven to go in there and look for it."

The elevator doors slid shut, muffling Cyborg's raucous laughter as Beast Boy shifted his weight from foot to foot, blushing madly. He'd been so sure he hadn't been caught. And in his defense, it had started out as a prank. He still wasn't so sure why he'd kept it. He told himself it might come in handy someday. For a different prank, of course. The fact that it smelled just like her had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Grumbling a few choice curses in honor of his robotic teammate, Beast Boy walked into the common room and immediately made his way towards the kitchen. In a few minutes he'd prepared a veritable buffet of breakfast delicacies, ranging from whole wheat toasts with every jam in their fridge, granola-oatmeal mix, a brilliant array of fresh fruits, and half a dozen toaster waffles with a healthy serving of maple syrup and strawberries. It took him half as long to devour everything before him. One of the many perks of having the whole of the animal kingdom within your DNA. A healthy appetite and a raging metabolism.

His breakfast binge complete, he headed for the couch and flipped on the television, grabbing a joystick as he plopped himself down on the couch. He had hoped to take the day for himself, veg out on the couch, go for a walk in the park, a leisurely swim in the harbor. And that oh so important appointment that came by once a month. But that was late in the afternoon, and one of the others would probably be back by then. He'd cross that bridge when he got to it. With things being as they were, he figured he might as well start the day by vegging out.

The atmospheric sound of nighttime filled the common room as his game began.  _Hunted_. It was as though the triple-A gaming industry had decided to cater to his darker tastes for once. A game where he could take control of a dangerous beast, whose only objective was to run rampant through a thick jungle and hunt down its prey.

Though a bit macabre in that sense, it was less of a game and more of a cathartic experience for him. His bloodlust had only grown over the years as puberty had progressed, and he'd felt the collective hormonal experience of the entire animal kingdom. The basic instincts of every animal had surged forth, and then some. Bloodthirst was only one of the urges that had hit him, and so far had been the easiest to curve. Violent video games finally had a reason to exist. His more, carnal needs, had needed special attention. Needless to say, it had been an awkward phase. And probably one of the more obvious reasons as to why he'd followed Raven around like a lovesick puppy when he'd been younger. At least, until three years back.

He shook his head clear. If there was something he'd learned in all his twenty one years of life, it was that not thinking about it made it easier to forget about it, and bury it deep where it couldn't hurt anymore.

Planting his feet firmly on the ground, he grasped the controller with fierce strength and focused solely on stalking his next victim before slashing his throat from the shadows.

Better than thinking about the tear that was running down his cheek.

 

* * *

 

Raven's transition from night to day was usually calm, quiet, and practically instant. Her alarm clock usually provided the necessary catalyst, and years of meditation and willpower training had given her the ability to pass from a stage of deep sleep to a state of total awareness.

That morning however, the only thing her alarm had managed to do was convince her to open her restless eyes and put an ends to hours of sleepless tossing and turning. Her uncomfortably lucid dream had pushed her over the edge, and she'd forsaken sleep in the hopes of preventing another… incident.

Blinking open bloodshot eyes, Raven glared at the offending pile of laundry amassed in the corner of her room. She'd torn off her bedsheets and stripped her nightgown, disgusted at her own loss of control, and now she had to figure out how to take care of the mess. Blood rushed to her cheeks as memories of her pleasure returned unbidden.

In her twenty years, she had of course experimented with her sexuality, and had discovered the pleasures of masturbation at an early age. What half-human wouldn't? However, whenever her pleasure had "peaked" in the past, she had lost control of her powers. What was an orgasm if not an intense emotion of pleasure and lust?

Still, after the May Blackout a few years back, she'd decided to hold off on her pleasure for the sake of her own dignity. Even if the authorities had blamed rusted power couplings in the harbor area, she knew it would only take a few more incidents like that one for her teammates to link the blackouts with her mysterious disappearances.

Raven sat up on her bed, studiously observing her hand. It was odd, then, that one of her most intense orgasms had caused absolutely no sort of imbalance or explosion of her powers. She closed her eyes and muttered a familiar incantation, waiting to feel the tell-tale tug of levitation.

But no levitation came. She focused once more and recited a stronger spell, staring at her hand. But no black magic encompassed her hand, no surge of energy came from her chakra. She blinked at the discovery, but eventually gave up, exhausted at her own mental exertion.

It was probably simply exhaustion, lack of sleep, and her own emotional imbalance. Surely a few good hours of meditation would help ease her troubles, and set her powers back under her command. Rising from her bed, covered only in a shirt three sizes too big, Raven made her way towards her closet. As she walked past her door, she spotted a strangely out of place square of white lying on the floor, right next to her door. Curiosity got the better of her, and she picked up the small slip of paper, reading the contents silently as she tried to wrangle her hair back with her free hand.

_Raven,_

_I have left to accompany Robin out of the city for an important meeting. He has asked me to tell you that you must be the Last Titan today, until Cyborg or Beast Boy returns. I am most sorry that you must stay in the tower all alone and by yourself. I hope you do not hold harsh feelings towards us._

_Your Friend,_

_Starfire_

Raven felt the ghost of a smile play upon her lips. Last Titan. At last, it seemed like luck was on her side. Tossing the note aside, she picked up the heap of laundry that lay as a testament to her shame, and opened the door, not bothering to change out of her sleepwear. Or rather, the flimsy shirt she'd stolen from Cyborg a few years back after one of their battles with Plasmus.

Her whole body vibrated, and she felt the inexplicable urge to hum as she walked down the hall towards the elevator. As soon as she'd read Starfire's  _wondrous_  news, her mind had begun to plan her entire day accordingly. Zero stress. A quick breakfast snack, laundry, borrow Cyborg's stereo for some relaxing music while she meditated in the middle of the common room. Followed by a healthy dose of reading, and regaining control of her powers.

But first things first. As she approached the elevator, she saw the digital screen above counting down the floors.  _-1_. The Garage. She shrugged. Starfire had probably left the note just a few seconds earlier, before heading off with the Boy Wonder to do Azar knew what. Probably some sappy picnic date, or yet another trip to the  _mall of shopping._

 _Like you're not wishing_ someone _would take you out on a picnic date?_

She froze mid-step, her face burning bright red. Had she actually thought that? No, it must have been one of her emotions playing tricks with her again. Although envy was new.

_Who are you kidding, Rae-Rae? You're lucky Starfire's with Robin now. With a body like hers, Beast Boy would have…_

She pressed the button to summon the elevator repeatedly, her whole body trembling with rage. Those thoughts were not her own. They couldn't be. She loved Starfire. She'd been a sister to her. She would never be jealous of the bond she shared with Robin.

_Even though you're afraid you'll never form that sort of bond with anybody?_

Before she could think of an answer, the elevator opened its doors, welcoming her to it's cold, steel embrace, where no one could she her pained expression, or her trembling hands.

It took only a few seconds for the elevator to reach the main floor, its doors opening to the short hallways leading to the Titans favorite area. Raven stepped out, laundry still tightly clutched to her chest as she quietly chanted her mantra under her breath. Anything to keep those wayward thoughts from attacking her again.

Such was her concentration, that when she entered the common room, she didn't notice the smell of a freshly made breakfast. Nor did she hear the sounds of a video game playing out the speakers of their massively oversized entertainment unit. And by the time her eyes focused on her surroundings, and saw the all-too familiar mop of green hair, the only other occupant in the room had finally become aware of her, and turned to face her with a shocked expression that probably rivaled her own.

"Wha- Raven? What are you…? I thought you were…?"

She didn't respond. She couldn't. Her mind had frozen completely, and offered no helpful hints as for what to do in such a situation. She was in the middle of the common room, wearing  _only_  a shirt, carrying a pile of dirty laundry, in front of the person who was causing her mind to break, little by little. And based on his own blush, this probably wasn't a dream.

She watched silently and with frightened eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere except in her general direction.

"I, uh, I'm sorry for the mess, Rae. I kinda thought I was alone, figured I could clean it up later you know. Um…"

His eyes darted back over to her, and she saw his gaze flicker ever so slightly across her body, and the pile of dirty clothes in her arms. His eyes spread a bit wider, and his entire face turned a strange shade of maroon. She might have laughed at the sight, but she was almost certain her face was crimson red by now. Shuffling her feet, she tried to disappear behind her laundry, clutching it tighter against her exposed body.

Beast Boy silently turned and shut down the game, leaving them both in an unbearable awkward silence. She watched, out of the corner of her eye, as he hopped off the couch and made his way towards her. No, not towards  _her._  Towards the elevator. She wasn't sure if she should feel hurt or relieved. She only knew she wished her powers were working so she could teleport out of the room, into a distant dimension.

"Sorry. I'll, um, be right back." Beast Boy muttered as he quickly shuffled his way past her, careful to avoid looking at her. Or at least she assumed. She made sure her eyes were fixed on an imaginary spot far away in the horizon. As he brushed past her, she felt the waves of emotions rolling off of him, practically thickening the air around her.

All she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears as she recognized the emotions. Shame, fear, regret. But there were others, intertwined, and for some reason, inexplicably clear to her. Longing, passion, lust.

She tried not to think too much about it. Easier said than done.

It wasn't until she heard the familiar sound of the elevator doors swishing shut that she released her pent up breath. Her mind raced. She wasn't certain about what had just happened, but she knew one thing. She certainly wasn't the last Titan in the Tower. Gathering up a few socks that had fallen from her grasp, and grateful that nobody was standing behind her, she clutched her load and forsaking her breakfast, headed to the laundry room to at least take care of that matter. This time, however, she took the stairs.


	8. Chapter 8

 

**CHAPTER VIII**

 

* * *

 

 

Beast Boy paced back and forth inside his room, droplets of water dropping from his soaked mess of hair. After his close and oh-so unexpected encounter with Raven, a cold shower hadn't been optional. He hadn't missed a single detail, and he blamed his animalistic instincts for that.

She'd been just as shocked as he was, he was certain of it. Raven would never have waltzed into the common room in her sleepwear if she'd known she wasn't alone. That had been the first detail to raise suspicions. But his mind couldn't focus on that right now. Images of her standing there wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a surprised expression on her face flooded his mind, taunting him. That, mixed with the unmistakable scent that had wafted from the laundry in her arms had forced him into a hasty retreat.

Now, he was calmer, but not by much. Knowing he was no longer alone, he opted for his uniform, now curiously aware of how tight it seemed. He'd need an upgrade, and soon. He was also pretty confident that he'd given her more than enough time to get dressed and deal with her  _laundry_.

Which meant he no longer had any excuse for being locked up in his room. But could he go back to the common room? What if she was there? Or what if she wasn't? Which would be worse?

He froze mid-step, and sighed, slumping his shoulders. Running his palms down his face, he forced his mind to still, urging all those conflicting primal instincts within him to quiet down and let him think for once. Maybe this was exactly what he needed. A chance to change tactics, like Star had recommended. They had the tower to themselves, no villains to track down, and literally nothing to do but enjoy their day off before the inevitable training Robin would put them through the next morning.

If anything, it would give him a chance to talk to her, and at least try to get things back to the way they'd once been. Not great, but back on friendlier terms. No awkwardness and hostility, simply a tolerable mix of annoyance and amusement from both parties. The memories of younger days brought a small smile to his face, and from somewhere deep within, he felt a surge of confidence rising up through his chest.

Let it never be said that Gar Logan didn't at least try. Maybe not in the most orthodox of ways, but he was anything if not unorthodox. And besides, if there was  _one_  thing he knew how to do well, it was bury the bad things deep down inside and cover it up with humor. That little backup of his hadn't failed him yet, and there was no reason to start doubting it now.

With a new sense of confidence filling him, slightly impaired by his own low expectations, he strode out of his room and made his way back upstairs.

By the time the elevator had reached the common room, he'd mentally rehearsed every possible conversation starter he could have possibly thought of. He marched out of the elevator with every intention of walking up to Raven and opening up with a quick joke and a smile, only…

Only to falter when he found the common room as deserted as it'd been when he'd woken up earlier that morning. His ears drooped and his smile vanished, every pre-rehearsed phrase fading from his mind. As he made his way towards the kitchen, he silently cursed his own stupid hopes. It was Raven. What else could he expect? She'd probably locked herself up in her room again, and if she knew they were alone, which she undoubtedly did, she probably wouldn't appear until Cy or Robin or Star came back later that day.

He rounded the counter and leaned against the cold marble top, rubbing his temple with his free hand. He supposed, on the cynical bright side, it meant he technically  _did_  have the tower all to himself.

His train of thought was promptly derailed as the sound of the elevator descending caught his sensitive ears, which perked at the unexpected sound. He watched as the numbers changed, until it stopped exactly where he secretly hoped it would. Raven's room.

Still, he didn't want to get his hopes up just yet. She could be taking the elevator to any other part of the tower, and he wouldn't blame her. But she knew he'd been coming back to the common room. So maybe, just maybe…

He paid careful attention to the sound of the elevator, focusing his hearing and noticing the subtle change as it slowed down. He knew it would stop on his floor when it was still two floors away, and with a stupid grin on his face and a stomach full of butterflies, he turned around and set to work on another of his brilliant ideas. Or at least, he hoped it was brilliant.

 

* * *

 

Raven wasn't sure what to expect when the elevator doors slid open. Partly because she wasn't used to the elevator, and with her powers refusing to cooperate, she had little choice in the matter. But mostly, she wondered if she'd be alone when she returned to the common room.

She had resorted to logic, squashing down all other emotions that seemed to all of a sudden be running haphazard through her mind. After she'd taken care of her laundry, the next logical step would be to make herself a cup of tea. It was only rational; she did it every morning, after all.

She was not, in any way, returning to the common room to see if Beast Boy was there. Not at all. Her one and only intention was to make herself a cup of tea. If Beast Boy happened to be in the common room, well… it  _was_  the  _Common Room_ , after all, was it not?

Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself in her head while trying to fight back the queasiness that had developed in her stomach. All the more reason to make some tea.

When the elevator chimed its arrival, and its doors slid open, she felt her powers extending across the room as if on their own accord, sensing for any occupants. Her heart skipped a beat when within seconds, she sensed his presence. It was unique, bright and strong, yet with a deep darkness stuffed within. She had memorized the auras of every one of her friends, able to find them in a crowd almost instantly. But Beast Boy's aura was always easier to spot, even when in animal form.

He would have heard the elevator by now. Beast Boy was a lot of things, but he wasn't stupid. Well, he was a bit stupid at times, but not in that way. Deciding that the best way to proceed would be as if nothing was wrong, she smoothed out her cloak and stepped into the common room, heading for the kitchen.

He had his back to her, facing the stove and messing around with something metal as was apparent by the telltale clinking noises. Usually, she'd simply ignore his presence and go about making her tea. But that would mean joining him on the other side of the kitchen, actually being near him. She no longer felt the uncontrollable urge to strangle him, but she also didn't trust herself to be too close to him. Not with her mind in chaos and her emotions rebelling against her.

So she sat at her usual seat, the one she'd been sitting on when this had all started, and waited. And while she waited she watched. She watched his graceful movements around the kitchen, no longer the clumsy goblin he'd once been. She watched the way his shoulders and back moved beneath that skin-tight suit of his. What she hadn't been watching was what he'd been doing, and it took her by surprise when he turned around to face her with a nervous smile, those huge, green, pleading eyes, and a cup of tea cradled in his hands.

"Cyborg told me I was last Titan before he left…" Beast Boy said quietly as he placed the cup of tea on the counter and slid it towards her hands. She watched his movements, transfixed. "Sorry if I startled you earlier. I just wasn't expecting anyone to be home."

His hands withdrew from the cup just as the scent of her usual herbal tea wafted up towards her, comforting her with its earthy tones. It certainly smelled better than his last attempt at tea, and it  _was_  nice of him. As she reached out towards the cup, she looked up at him to see him watching her, biting his lip in a way that made his fang stick out even more, and scratching at the back of his neck. He was nervous. But why? Was he nervous about the tea? Was this somehow another one of his jokes?

Before she decided whether or not to drink the tea, she realized she should probably say something. Responses were usually expected in a conversation, though he should have known by now that any conversation with her was bound to be one-sided. Especially conversation from him.

But she'd made a promise to herself, or rather her  _emotions_  (boy, she'd be any therapist's field day) to try. So she looked up at him with her usual icy gaze and spoke with a carefully-controlled monotone that didn't betray the turmoil of emotions raging within.

"Starfire left me a note saying I was Last Titan."

Her eyes watched him for his reaction, doubly so as she brought the tea up to her lips. He seemed confused, his nose scrunching up like he was actually trying to use that brain of his to think. She also didn't miss the little sideways glance he cast at her when she took the first sip of tea.

Her first thought was that she'd been right, and it had been a prank. But as she tasted the liquid in her mouth tentatively, she found that it tasted just like any other tea she usually brewed herself. A little bitter, probably due to leaving the tea bag a bit too long, or boiling the water too much. So he hadn't poisoned her, intentionally or not. Looking down into the cup, she realized there was nothing odd about its appearance.

So either Beast Boy had actually prepared a decent cup of tea for her, out of the kindness of his heart, or this was his most elaborate and complex prank yet. She didn't know which of the two scenarios she preferred.

"Well? Did I get it right this time?" Beast Boy asked, a hint of anxiousness edging his words. She looked up at him again, and this time let loose a bit of her powers. What good was it being an empath if you couldn't use it to figure out someone's intentions? Especially when said intentions might be to humiliate her in some unknown way, shape, or form.

Yet, all she could glean from a cursory inspection with her powers was doubt, fear, and a dash of hope. He honestly cared if he'd done it right. Suddenly feeling ashamed for doubting his intentions, and doubly so for invading his feelings with her powers that way, she quickly nodded while her mouth tried to come up with some words.

"It's… good."

His apprehension seemed to dissipate, a large smile growing on his face, a smile she knew was genuine. When he turned around to continue with his breakfast preparations, she felt a little smile tugging at her lips.

"So… did Star say where she was going?" He asked.

Raven froze for a split second, her mouth opening but no words escaping. She realized she'd been about to say something depreciative, like ' _none of your business'_ , or  _'what do you care?'_  But she suddenly found she couldn't. She didn't want to. Besides, she'd promised herself, and Starfire, that she'd at least. And Cyborg  _had_  asked her to cut him some slack. And to top it all off, Beast Boy actually seemed to be making an effort  _not_  to be an immature, impertinent jerk.

"She went with Robin somewhere. Didn't say where."

"Gotham." He said casually. Her eyebrows lifted of their own accord, admittedly surprised that Beast Boy had that information, or even cared enough to pay attention. When he turned around with a plate stacked high with toaster waffles, he had the courtesy to look sheepish at her stunned expression.

"Cyborg told me. Apparently, Batman got news about something going on in Jump City, Robin was headed there to get the full briefing." Beast Boy said, settling down on a chair directly across from her and pushing the plate of waffled closer to her.

Taking another carefully controlled sip of her tea, lest she explode yet another cup, she focused on her powers and managed to lift the bottle of syrup from the table and slather on a healthy serving on top of the steaming waffles. At least her powers weren't completely gone; they were just working at random, apparently.

The thought of her powers had her thinking back to the day before, and her little accident. But even more so, she thought back to when she'd gotten out of her head,  _literally_ , and found Beast Boy in her room. The more she thought about it, the more she felt that she'd maybe overreacted. Maybe. Just a bit. Especially if he'd really been only trying to help, misguided as his efforts were.

She wanted to apologize, to tell him that it had been an overreaction. But then, as her thoughts grew ever-more convoluted, she realized that wasn't the only thing she wanted to apologize for. Images of Beast Boy's hurt expression after her witty remarks, the ways he'd sometimes flinch as she hovered over him menacingly…

With all those thoughts in her head, she was suddenly worrying that she might accidentally explode. She needed to leave, to get as far away from him as possible, at least until she got her emotions back under control. But just as she was about to lean forward on her stool, Beast Boy's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Listen, Rae, I just wanted to… I'm sorry, about yesterday, you know?" He asked. His pointy ears were drooped, his shoulders hunched, and his eyes were darting all over the table, except in her general direction. Something made her stay, made her listen to his words. "I shouldn't have gone in your room, and I shouldn't have read your book…"

She noticed his words faltered near the end, and something told her he was probably remembering what he'd read in said book. She didn't need to remember that particularly embarrassing detail either, so she quietly interrupted him.

"It's okay."

When she said it, Beast Boy fell silent, his wide, disbelieving eyes turning to face her and give her his undivided attention. While she felt relieved with his apology, and even more so at having been able to, rather surprisingly, accept it and forgive him, the way he was looking at her now only made her want to dig deeper into her cloak until she disappeared in it. She did the next best thing and raised her cup of tea to try and hide the slight tinge of pink in her cheeks.

"Um, really? Wow, that's, um… thanks…" He petered off, once again rubbing the back of his neck and he leaned on the counter. He mirrored her action and grabbed one of the waffles from the plate, quickly taking a bite and focusing his attention on the sugary confection.

In the awkward silence, she found that her doubts and fears about apologies and guilt had seemingly vanished. She knew they were still in there somewhere, but for now, her mind seemed clearer. Even her usual troubling thoughts seemed to have strayed, leaving her with nothing but the present to occupy her mind. And she was feeling braver too. So far, things were going better than she'd expected. Granted, she'd expected to either have blown something up, or thrown him out of the window again by this point. So she did something she usually didn't do, not with Beast Boy anyways. She sked him a question.

"Yesterday you said you'd come to my room to apologize…" She said, watching carefully as he froze, biting down on his waffle and looking at her like a deer caught in headlights. It might have been comical had it not made her slightly suspicious. Raven narrowed her eyes. "What exactly did you think you had to apologize  _for?_ "

"Oh." He said, swallowing the piece of waffle in his mouth before almost choking on it. Once it dislodged from his throat, he stood up a bit straighter, more at ease. "I don't know, the usual? Everyone thought you were upset with me, and let's face it Rae, that's usually a pretty safe bet."

She said nothing, but she still felt a sharp sting in her chest at his words. The truth tended to hurt, even without meaning to.

"I figured you'd tell me what I'd done, and I'd apologize, as usual." Beast Boy continued, looking more relaxed, yet she noticed he was still avoiding looking directly at her. "But then you weren't there, and then I saw the book…"

"Right…" She said quietly, hoping her cheeks weren't as red as she felt them. At least he had the decency to be embarrassed about it as well.

"Yeah, sorry… Not my brightest move…"

Once more, she felt the usual instinct to throw a sharp barb at him, keep his ego grounded, and tell him that  _that_  was an understatement. But she didn't. She wasn't sure if it was because he truly seemed to regret his actions, and he seemed genuinely apologetic… or if it was something else.

She pondered this for a bit, but eventually resigned herself to the awkward silence, broken only by Beast Boy's munching on his waffle and her delicate sips of tea.

She didn't understand. She had taken it easy on Beast Boy, like Cyborg had asked. She'd forgiven him for his intrusion, which was totally unlike her, yet she'd done it. And she'd kept herself from being intentionally cruel. She was trying to change, but so far she didn't feel it was making much of a difference. Things were still wrong. They were still avoiding each other's glances while stealing glances when they could. They both knew that. So why was it so hard?

 

* * *

 

They'd started off pretty good. Hell, things had gone ten times as smoothly s he'd expected them to go. She'd liked the tea, she hadn't been mean or harsh or angry or anything like what she'd usually been like the past few years. He was certainly grateful for that. And she'd accepted his apology! That was a first in many ways, but he figured a victory dance might take away some, if not all, of the progress he'd made so far.

But now they were back where they'd started.

Beast Boy admitted he wasn't the sharpest fang in the jaw, but he was smarter than most people gave him credit for. People like Cyborg, apparently. Last Titan? That had been just cruel, in and of itself, but lying to him like that, just to set him up with Raven? And how had he managed to make Star a participant?

Those were questions that circled his mind, but there was another thought that bugged him even more. Cyborg had a point.

Now that the two of them were alone, something which usually rarely happened unless ordered to by Robin, or under extreme circumstances, he noticed that they were lacking the connection they shared with their other teammates. Talking to each other seemed impossible, as was evident by the awkward silence still hanging heavily over their heads as they sat across from each other at the kitchen table.

But it shouldn't be.

Except, what was he supposed to talk about with Raven? Cyborg he could talk to about video games, cars, pretty much anything. Starfire was special in her own way. Their conversations were rare, but held a deep connection when they happened. She was as much a sister to him as Cyborg was a brother. And even Robin, despite their differences at times, was someone he considered a good friend. He'd helped him loosen up a bit over the years, and he'd helped toughen him up, given him a bit more discipline and order in his life. And ever since he'd come back from that god-forsaken mission two years back, they'd formed a sort of bond, the way only two people affected by tragedy could bond.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. It was new, it was interesting, but he knew it was dangerous, if only to himself. But maybe it would work. After all, Raven wasn't the most talkative person in the team, and she'd never shown any interest in his past before, so maybe she'd let it slide. Gathering up courage he didn't know he had, he blurted out the question that was bouncing around in his mind.

"Why is a Raven like a writing desk?"

He wanted to smack himself, if not for the totally un-smooth delivery, for Raven's face when he said it. She looked at him as though he'd grown another head, which really, shouldn't have been all that surprising by now. But then he felt that cold stare of hers sizing him up, and he knew she was trying to figure out if he was somehow pulling her chain.

"Sorry, it's a…" Beast Boy chuckled nervously, unable to find a comfortable position for his hands. "It's a riddle from a book I read. My favorite book, actually…"

Raven blinked in surprise. "You read?"

Beast Boy offered a tentative smile, but when he looked up at her, he noticed that she was lacking her usual cruel smirk, and instead seemed to be watching him curiously, as if expecting an answer. Well, so far so good.

"Not usually, no. But it's a book about talking animals, so, you know…"

They once more fell into silence, but this time it wasn't as awkward anymore. Raven seemed to be contemplating something, watching her tea with fierce concentration, and for once, Beast Boy simply felt calm (or at least calm _er_ ) in her presence as he finished off his waffle.

"So what's the answer?" Raven finally asked, breaking the silence. He hadn't really expected for her to play along, but rather hoped she did. And now she was. Maybe Star was right, maybe just talking  _was_  the way to go.

"I don't know." He said, leaning forward on the table. "It's sort of an inside joke, I guess. It doesn't really have an answer."

"So what's the point, then?" She asked, her tone a mixture of curiosity and frustration. He couldn't help a smile, knowing how she hated problems she couldn't solve. But as he was about to answer, his smile faded, tempered by the memories that riddle brought forth. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything…

"That  _is_  the point, I guess. It's just nonsense…" He said. Raven rolled her eyes, and he knew she probably thought it had been just another one of his lame attempts at a joke. And he realized he didn't want that. Swallowing back the twinge of doubt and regret, he told her the truth.

"When I was with the Doom Patrol, Rita and I sort of made a game out of it, you know?" He said, focusing to try and keep his voice from shaking. "We'd take turns trying to come up with answers that made sense… or didn't."

Beast Boy chuckled as he recalled some of the more nonsensical answers both he and Rita had come up with, prompting bouts of laughter and glares from Mento.

"Like what?" Raven asked, her voice interrupting his meandering thoughts. He smiled, the fact that Raven was actively engaging in conversation with him far outweighed the pain associated with certain memories.

"Oh, I dunno, it's been… years…" Beast Boy lied, pretending that he didn't remember every day. But he wasn't about to ruin what little conversation he'd managed to get out of her. "I think one of the easy ones was that they both stand on legs."

Raven's only reply was an unimpressed lifting of an eyebrow. He barked out a short laugh.

"Yeah, I know, but I was like, nine, when I came up with that one." He said. For a moment, he hesitated, wondering whether or not he should share one of Rita's answers. A quick glance at Raven provided the confirmation he needed. "One of Rita's guesses was because Poe wrote on both."

That got a reaction, as unexpected as that was. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to see Raven smile, even that tiny, microscopic grin of hers. But it made him feel warmth and relief that at least they weren't headed towards the end of their friendship. Maybe, just maybe, this crazy plan of Starfire's might actually work.

"That's actually pretty clever." Raven said, and he thought her voice seemed to waver out of that droning monotone. But maybe that had just been his imagination.

"Yeah, Rita was always better at coming up with answers that made sense."

"Rita… Elasti-Girl?"

Beast Boy found that he could no longer form words, so he settled for a quick nod. The conversation was dangerously close to subjects that he had no intention of revisiting. So with a trembling smile, he got up from the chair and tilted his head towards the tv.

"Anyways, I was just going to watch some TV until the guys came back."

"Oh. Okay."

And just like that, things were once again awkward. Raven was staring into her cup of tea, and he was standing just opposite her, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as his mind tried to figure out what exactly he was supposed to do.

They'd been making headway, but he wasn't ready to talk about Rita or his past yet. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready. But at the same time, he didn't want to risk losing what little progress he'd made with Raven.

"You, uh… what were you gonna do?" Beast Boy asked impulsively, hastily trying to explain himself when Raven looked at him with a questioning look. "I mean, you know, with your day off…"

She seemed to hesitate as well before finally answering in a droll tone. "Read."

"Oh… Okay…" He was losing this battle, but there had to be some way to recover. Without making him look awkward and twitchy. "You know, you could read up here… if you want... I'll keep the volume low…"

Was that too desperate? It seemed too desperate. He almost flinched when he looked back at Raven, but she didn't seem to be smirking or laughing at him for his discomfort. If anything, she seemed a bit… surprised...

He wasn't sure how long he was supposed to wait before giving up on receiving a response from Raven. Especially since it was Raven, and a response was never guaranteed. But he remained rooted to the spot, watching her as she apparently resolved some inner conflict. Probably which window to throw him out of this time.

"Okay." Raven said. With a sharp  _pop_ , a book appeared from thin air beside her, and she reached out to grab it before it fell. Getting up from her chair, she used her powers to clear the table, and left him staring at her chair as she made her way over to the couch, book in hand.

Beast Boy frowned, trying to somehow make sense of the world again. But she was Raven. And he was green. So with a shrug, he figured making sense probably wasn't as important as it seemed. After locating Raven, who was now sitting curled up against one end of the couch, he quickly vaulted over the back of the couch and landed gracefully on the other hand, making sure his landing wouldn't disrupt Raven. He knew it would only take  _one_  mistake from his part to revert everything back to the usual routine. So from now on, he pledged to be more careful, if only to try to preserve some sense of camaraderie between them.

And as he settled in to watch one of his favorite nature documentaries with a reasonable volume, he figured now more than ever, maybe Star's idea could actually work.

Beast Boy smiled to himself as he allowed himself one more shimmer of hope.


End file.
